I had exactly the same problem. In my state (NH) there is case law that states an “access” easement infers a utility easement. The power company told me that they would pull wires if I went underground, so I paid over $13,000 for 1000’ of underground pipe, but then the power company reneged when the servient owner complained to them.
I had to threaten to sue the neighbor for access before they would sign an easement. I believe I would have won because of the existing case law. I made sure my transformer was on my property, and the utility easement says the utility company can not utilize my pipe or tie into the transformer to service the neighbor. That way, when they go to build they will have to pay me if they want to tie in. And believe me they will have to pay dearly.
Have a lawyer investigate your state case law to see if infers utilities with “access”.
There is another way you might be able to get utilities, and that is to read the easement the neighbor must have given to the utility company if they have utilities. Usually the utility company will write a very broad easement giving them the right to access and/or cross a property they service, and that right would allow them to service your property also. You may have to do a deed search at the registry of deeds to find if your neighbor’s property has an existing utility easement. If such an easement exists, use that to force the utility to service you.
Sometimes I think I might have been better off going solar, but I also installed pipes for cable and telephone, which are unavailable any other way (no cell service).