New Update

[Isis1]

this is just me being nosey...but wouldn't it be in OP's best interest to not commit to a visitation plan? no matter what, she's mom. if grandparents were so asanine to keep the child to gain custody, wouldn't mom have the ability to file criminal charges since grandparents don't have rights for custody? as mom, she doesn't need paperwork to demand her child back, right?

 

[LdiJ]

this is just me being nosey...but wouldn't it be in OP's best interest to not commit to a visitation plan? no matter what, she's mom. if grandparents were so asanine to keep the child to gain custody, wouldn't mom have the ability to file criminal charges since grandparents don't have rights for custody? as mom, she doesn't need paperwork to demand her child back, right?

Personally I agree with you Isabella. When you voluntarily give grandparents a set visitation schedule or court ordered visitation, you tend to set up a feeling of entitlement/rights. They tend to view themselves as replacing their child in the parental rights arena. If things don't go well or the child wants to spend less time with them, you then have a big problem.

Therefore I would not recommend committing to a visitation plan. I would encourage mom to provide visitation as long as its healthy, but committing to a "plan" is not a good idea...particularly a court ordered plan.

Its hard when your child dies and naturally you cling to any grandchildren. However, sometimes that "clinging" ends up not being healthy. You sometimes have a child who is beginning to heal, and then spends time with the grandparents and is a basket case again. The grandparent isn't moving on and subconciously does not want the child to move on either. They want/need someone to share their grief.

I have seen this happen many many many times. It also sometimes causes grandparents to lose perspective regarding the child's other parent, and to view them as unfit or not good enough and the grandparent feels that the child should live with them.

Therefore there are times when its necessary to temporarily distance the child from the grandparents for a while. However, if you already committed to a visitation plan, and its signed off on by a judge...you have a problem.

 

[Zephyr]

I agree- do not agree to any visitation with the grandparents through the courts

 

[Isis1]

Personally I agree with you Isabella. When you voluntarily give grandparents a set visitation schedule or court ordered visitation, you tend to set up a feeling of entitlement/rights. They tend to view themselves as replacing their child in the parental rights arena. If things don't go well or the child wants to spend less time with them, you then have a big problem.

Therefore I would not recommend committing to a visitation plan. I would encourage mom to provide visitation as long as its healthy, but committing to a "plan" is not a good idea...particularly a court ordered plan.

Its hard when your child dies and naturally you cling to any grandchildren. However, sometimes that "clinging" ends up not being healthy. You sometimes have a child who is beginning to heal, and then spends time with the grandparents and is a basket case again. The grandparent isn't moving on and subconciously does not want the child to move on either. They want/need someone to share their grief.

I have seen this happen many many many times. It also sometimes causes grandparents to lose perspective regarding the child's other parent, and to view them as unfit or not good enough and the grandparent feels that the child should live with them.

Therefore there are times when its necessary to temporarily distance the child from the grandparents for a while. However, if you already committed to a visitation plan, and its signed off on by a judge...you have a problem.

i fully agree. considering if mom felt she would have a problem even getting her child in the first place when all this mess began. i had a patenal grandmother try to wave a piece of paper at me trying to claim rights. i waved a paper back at her showing her case was denied. i just think that "paper" is giving grandma and grandpa way too much power. i understand their pain, i cannot comprehend even closely what it would be like to lose any of my children. grown or not. i don;t think anyone would be thinking very clearly.

 

[wileybunch]

OP, you're welcome.
I have to say ... you sound like you're having identity confusion. You are the child's mom unless/until a court deems otherwise or restricts your rights (besides parenting timeshare). Agreeing to a "visitation" schedule with the grandparents -- another case of identity confusion. You are the child's mom. You can allow the child to visit with whomever whenever you wish to, you do not need to involve the courts in that. You do not need to make up specific visitation schedules simply because you think someone might take or keep your son. That's called kidnapping. Allow the son to have a reasonable relationship with his g'parents unless you think it's detrimental and leave it that.

 

[Gum_Drop]

Update

I made the mistake of taking my son to the hospital to spend time with his father, and they took my child.

I have hired an attorney, he is filing an ex parte order for temp full custody, with a hearing in 2 weeks to show cause why it should not be permanent.

Can someone here tell me what to expect tomorrow?? Will I talk to the judge or will my lawyer do all the talking?

And what about the hearing in 2 weeks? Aside from the fathers wishes of "if anything ever happened to me, I want you to take the child" What would they have to do to show cause of why it shouldnt be permanent?

What is considered to be unfit?

And how much weight does a 13 yr olds wishes have?

Sorry so many questions, and I know I should ask my lawyer, but he bills $175 pr hr and that includes phone charges. I have already racked up 2 hours in the consultation.

 

[Rushia]

How on earth did they get their hands on him???!!

Did you call the police? I don't believe that grandparents have ANY right to walk off with your child. I do believe that's kidnapping.

 

[jbowman]

Who took your child? Authorities or the grandparents? If authorities, there is DEFINITELY something missing from your story. If it was the grandparents... you just sat there and allowed that? This story is very confusing.

 

[truebluemd]

I made the mistake of taking my son to the hospital to spend time with his father, and they took my child.

I have hired an attorney, he is filing an ex parte order for temp full custody, with a hearing in 2 weeks to show cause why it should not be permanent.

Can someone here tell me what to expect tomorrow?? Will I talk to the judge or will my lawyer do all the talking?

And what about the hearing in 2 weeks? Aside from the fathers wishes of "if anything ever happened to me, I want you to take the child" What would they have to do to show cause of why it shouldnt be permanent?

What is considered to be unfit?

And how much weight does a 13 yr olds wishes have?

Sorry so many questions, and I know I should ask my lawyer, but he bills $175 pr hr and that includes phone charges. I have already racked up 2 hours in the consultation.

HOW IN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? GET YOUR COPY OF THE ORDER, CALL THE POLICE AND GO GET YOUR CHILD. THE NERVE OF THEM!

Whatever legal loops you have to go through for their stupidity, make sure you ask the judte to make them pay your legal fees!

 

[Gum_Drop]

they limit the people in the room to family. I am his ex wife and no longer family. I was just trying to do what was best for my son. He was with an uncle, but I do think it was planned, the GPs stayed in the waiting room with me.

They have my son convinced that he would be better off with them, and they love him more, they can do more for him, and a few other physiological things to confuse him more.

He called me and told me he wanted to stay with his GPs.

Yes the police were called, but since he is still technically alive, he is the primary custodial parent. And the cops said there was nothing they could do. that I would need to take it up with the courts.

so I left the hospital, and drove to the court house used their phone book and started calling lawyers till I got one that could see me right then.

 

[LdiJ]

I made the mistake of taking my son to the hospital to spend time with his father, and they took my child.

That could only have happened if you allowed it to happen.

I have hired an attorney, he is filing an ex parte order for temp full custody, with a hearing in 2 weeks to show cause why it should not be permanent.

That should not have been necessary.

Can someone here tell me what to expect tomorrow?? Will I talk to the judge or will my lawyer do all the talking?

Your attorney will probably do most, if not all, of the talking.

And what about the hearing in 2 weeks? Aside from the fathers wishes of "if anything ever happened to me, I want you to take the child" What would they have to do to show cause of why it shouldnt be permanent?

The father's wishes are irrelevant. They would have to prove you legally unfit.

What is considered to be unfit?

That's almost an impossible questions to answer. They would basically have to prove that it would be dangerous for the child to be in your custody.

And how much weight does a 13 yr olds wishes have?

Virtually none when its between a parent and a third party.

Sorry so many questions, and I know I should ask my lawyer, but he bills $175 pr hr and that includes phone charges. I have already racked up 2 hours in the consultation.

You seriously made a mistake when you allowed them to take your child.

 

[Gum_Drop]

I know. I am kicking myself in the arse for trying to do the right thing.

The only things they have negative about me, is that I committed adultery on her son about 10 years ago, and that he had failing grades when my son lived with me. But I must also add that he had failing grades when he lived with his father.

What about witness'? will they be allowed to speak at the hearing to attest to the fact that the father would have wanted his son to live with his dad? I think you already answered that about his wishes being irrelevant but just double checking.

 

[jbowman]

This story is extremely hard to believe at this point, to be honest. If you were not allowed in the room, ok, but how the heck did they slip past you and steal your child??

 

[truebluemd]

they limit the people in the room to family. I am his ex wife and no longer family. I was just trying to do what was best for my son.

Not to upset you, but knowing their intentions, you should not have left them alone with them at all, but I do understand.

He was with an uncle, but I do think it was planned, the GPs stayed in the waiting room with me.

Can they be charged with kidnapping? Afterall the child was with her and they took him without her permission

They have my son convinced that he would be better off with them, and they love him more, they can do more for him, and a few other physiological things to confuse him more.

He called me and told me he wanted to stay with his GPs.

It does not matter. He is a child and he doesnt get to decide.

Yes the police were called, but since he is still technically alive, he is the primary custodial parent. And the cops said there was nothing they could do. that I would need to take it up with the courts.

He is not fit to care your son and the GPs have no rights to him.

so I left the hospital, and drove to the court house used their phone book and started calling lawyers till I got one that could see me right then.

So you have an exparte hearing tomorrow?

 

[RocketDog]

they limit the people in the room to family. I am his ex wife and no longer family. I was just trying to do what was best for my son. He was with an uncle, but I do think it was planned, the GPs stayed in the waiting room with me.

I don't understand..did the uncle sneak your son out a different way while you were in the waiting room? Where did the uncle take him? Sounds like kidnapping to me?

He called me and told me he wanted to stay with his GPs.

He called you from where exactly? When did you know he was gone?

Yes the police were called, but since he is still technically alive, he is the primary custodial parent. And the cops said there was nothing they could do. that I would need to take it up with the courts.

He may be alive but incapacitated...this doesn't mean the grandparents get his custody rights. Where was your son when you called the police? Did they come to the hospital? Did you alert the hospital staff first?