New York Divorce

[MagsBay]

But, but, but, all her divorced friends and even her mother told her all these years that's how divorces are supposed to work.

I am probably doing something wrong as I have tried to reply to this post for some time.

I have very few divorced "friends" as in my community few divorce. My mother has been dead for decades. I do not appreciate your snide remarks.

 

[MagsBay]

How are you going to pay him $225k to buy his share of the equity from him? He is entitled to that -- based on your numbers. You owe $50k but the house is worth 10 times that -- so $500k. He is entitled to half the equity. If you cannot buy him out of the equity by refinancing the house and then affording a mortgage for $27k5 AND he doesn't want to buy you out, the house gets sold and you each get your equity that way.
Now he could decide to give you all of the equity in the house and you could then refinance the mortgage of 50k in exchange for you getting NONE of his retirement or 225k less of his retirement. Also he could give you the entire joint retirement fund in exchange for even more of HIS pension because he is also entitled to half the retirement fund.

How much is your inheritance worth? You don't seem to understand that you don't get to just take from him. Your inheritance is part of your property. Great. Fantastic. Depending on its value, you might not get ANY spousal support. Especially if the inheritance is somewhat substantial. It is possible that you would get VERY LITTLE of his retirement when all is said and done depending on the worth of everything else. If your separate assets are enough for you to live upon when combined with the marital assets you receive you won't get spousal support.

In other words, don't count on getting what you want. In fact you might not get any of what you request and will end up with only half the marital assets and half the marital debt.

Wow, I guess I have actually gotten the hang of replying.

My inheritance is NOT part of the property -in NY , if said inheritance is not co-mingled is it not part of the property.

Take from him?

Shame on you, Ohio Girl as I understand that you are a woman. I understand that you are younger than I am but in my day, someone had to make the sacrifice, the husband, not so, often the woman.
In other posts you faulted me for not finding a job in three years. I am not young. I am, however, rather well educated. I forsake my career to care for my children. I did work throughout the years in many good jobs but everytime an upset came to be, I was the one to give up the career to care for the children or elderly relatives, most namely, my husband's parents.

I do think I more than gave my share.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wow, I guess I have actually gotten the hang of replying.

My inheritance is NOT part of the property -in NY , if said inheritance is not co-mingled is it not part of the property.

Take from him?

Shame on you, Ohio Girl as I understand that you are a woman. I understand that you are younger than I am but in my day, someone had to make the sacrifice, the husband, not so, often the woman.
In other posts you faulted me for not finding a job in three years. I am not young. I am, however, rather well educated. I forsake my career to care for my children. I did work throughout the years in many good jobs but everytime an upset came to be, I was the one to give up the career to care for the children or elderly relatives, most namely, my husband's parents.

I do think I more than gave my share.

Hey goldfish, let me explain it even more clearly. Inheritance is NOT marital property unless it is comingled. HOWEVER, all property -- separate and marital -- comes into play when support comes into play. Your fabulous idea of having him pay half the maintenance on the home for you forever (or until he dies or you die or it is paid off) IS a type of support in which YOUR inheritance WILL be considered if your husband has any brains. Granted I know you don't want it considered but it will be considered as it is an ASSET of yours that you can use for living expenses. And your husband would be an idiot to agree that if you die first, a portion of the home is transferred to the ADULT children. Especially if your deed is written as joint tenants with right of survivorship. Should I continue in the ways you are wrong?

You forsake your career? Really? YOU CHOSE to do that. How old are you children now?
As for being female, that has nothing to do with what I believe is fair or equitable or legal. LEGALLY, unless he is dumb enough to agree to your ****amamie idea about the house it won't happen. Why? Because it is a mistake of law for a court to order such stupidity (the children are NOT parties to the divorce) to begin with. Hey but go on your nice little way. As a female, I can support myself without alimony/spousal support/my ex paying my bills. Apparently some old ladies aren't that determined or bright and expect the world to be handed to them.
As for my name it is OhioGal. Not girl, old lady. Now go back to swimming.

 

[mmmagique]

Why do you call her goldfish and old lady but are offended that she got your handle a bit wrong? I didn't see any malice in that. (believe me I've seen some people twist names maliciously...this doesn't appear to be one of those times) (imo)

 

[Ohiogal]

Why do you call her goldfish and old lady but are offended that she got your handle a bit wrong? I didn't see any malice in that. (believe me I've seen some people twist names maliciously...this doesn't appear to be one of those times) (imo)

Mags Beach attempted to impress me by writing and stating how much she knew LD and provided me names and such regarding LD. Yet some of what she said in the PM made no sense (she hasn't talked to LD in years, for instance, but she knew all this stuff about her currently -- what she was thinking and such). Second, old lady is a response to Ohio Girl.

 

[LdiJ]

Mags Beach attempted to impress me by writing and stating how much she knew LD and provided me names and such regarding LD. Yet some of what she said in the PM made no sense (she hasn't talked to LD in years, for instance, but she knew all this stuff about her currently -- what she was thinking and such). Second, old lady is a response to Ohio Girl.

I really don't know who the OP is. I honestly don't.

 

[Bali Hai]

I really don't know who the OP is. I honestly don't.

Sure you do. You've talked to her thousands of times when she came to this forum asking questions about divorce and expecting to own her husband financially for the rest of his and her life. This OP wants the children taken care of too.

 

[LdiJ]

Sure you do. You've talked to her thousands of times when she came to this forum asking questions about divorce and expecting to own her husband financially for the rest of his and her life. This OP wants the children taken care of too.

Stuff it Bali....

I may honestly know this person, you know, like in the real world...however nothing completely meshes with anyone that I know.

 

[Ohiogal]

Stuff it Bali....

I may honestly know this person, you know, like in the real world...however nothing completely meshes with anyone that I know.

I am not saying you do know her since you responded to me. I am stating she claims to know YOU and you saw what she sent to me where she claims to know you.

 

[tuffbrk]

Well, it sounds to me as if OP has found one of those less than stellar attorneys who agrees with her and will waste thousands of dollars in negotiations that they know will go nowhere if SBTX has a decent attorney. OP - do yourself a favor and interview another attorney. This is important especially because you don't seem to know many folks who have gone through a divorce who could assist you in becoming educated in your local court environment.

It really ticks me off that so many attorneys will not be forthright with potential clients, tell them what they want to hear, just to make a buck. (And no offense meant to you, OG, you know that if I were anywhere in your neighborhood, I would have thrown every asset I had your way to represent me!) But it really is getting on my last nerve that there seem to be so many unscrupulous folks out there that take advantage of confused, emotional people going through divorce. Meanwhile the client is relying on them for their expertise and is being misled. Hooboy! Sorry about the rant!

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, it sounds to me as if OP has found one of those less than stellar attorneys who agrees with her and will waste thousands of dollars in negotiations that they know will go nowhere if SBTX has a decent attorney. OP - do yourself a favor and interview another attorney. This is important especially because you don't seem to know many folks who have gone through a divorce who could assist you in becoming educated in your local court environment.

It really ticks me off that so many attorneys will not be forthright with potential clients, tell them what they want to hear, just to make a buck. (And no offense meant to you, OG, you know that if I were anywhere in your neighborhood, I would have thrown every asset I had your way to represent me!) But it really is getting on my last nerve that there seem to be so many unscrupulous folks out there that take advantage of confused, emotional people going through divorce. Meanwhile the client is relying on them for their expertise and is being misled. Hooboy! Sorry about the rant!

No offense taken Tuffbrk. I am trying to determine what states to consider to get licensed to practice other than Ohio. Have some opportunities coming up.

 

[Ohiogal]

stupid spam from an idiot moronic spammer

Hope you enjoyed this spamming attempt because this site has the right to charge you $250 for each spam post you have deposited. Better have deep pockets. And it was so nice of you to leave your contact information.

FACT: They have pursued breakers of the TOS before. You could be the next one.