no child support=visitation? HELP!!!!

[Awesomemom]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? CA, but my case is in NV

Hello...can someone please assist me. My divorce was in Nevada, and I have relocated to California. Even before the move, my ex was a dead beat....upon moving with the kids he stopped paying child support, I opened a case and the money was being garnished...we would hear from him from time to time..he even came to the town where we lived and didn't call to see the kids.
He has a very bad gambling habit so I know that is where the child support went...anyway, he was recently fired...PURPOSELY didn't call for months and now he is calling and putting demands. Never mind that he is supposedly unemployed still, although I know different. He has been seen gambling AFTER being fired, and still not paying...as we speak...
He said to someone I know that I shouldn't be complaining about no child support because I should have thought about that before moving out here thinking I would be making all kinds of money...
OK, I will shut up now..what I want to know is how can I go about petitioining to terminate his rights..I know that will mean no more support ever, but I am willing to give that up...if I am doing it alone..that is how it is going to be....and I have no problem with that, let me also say that I do strongly believe that a child NEEDS a father...maybe not the one they were given, but they do need one....do I not have any rights at all???
Please help me...do I file in CA or NV?
Thanks so much to anyone that can shed some light...
Have a blessed day.

 

[lovingmom]

Hello...

Mississippi--Does your divorce papers state anything about moving out of state before letting the nc parent being notified? Please contact your local Child Support Enforcement Division--they can do an interstate check on nc parent. And please dont try to terminate the rights. More than likely it will be difficult. Also, getting info from a bystander is always heresay. This is just advice form experience...Good luck to you! loving mom

 

[TxStep]

It is unlikely that the courts would terminate your ex's rights against his wishes unless you can prove that is harming the children or is putting them in imminent danger. Another strike against you in this is that terminating his rights would leave your children "fatherless" and the courts don't like to do that. You would have a better chance if you were married and your husband wanted to adopt. But like I said, unless your ex agrees, your chances are slim in any case.

 

[Awesomemom]

THANKS GUYS FOR THE ADVICE

HELLO...I READ YOUR REPLIES..
LOVING MOM...HE SIGNED A PAPER ALLOWING ME TO LEAVE THE STATE SO THERE IS NO PROBLEM THERE..
THE CHILD IS ALREADY FATHERLESS...EVEN DURING THE MARRIAGE HE WAS NOT THERE...
DOES BEING IN JAIL, USING DRUGS LIKE EXTASY AND ALL THAT HELP IN A CASE..DO GAMBLING RECORDS HELP..WHEN HE WAS NOT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT BUT GAMBLING?
DOES THE FACT THAT HE IS AVOIDING PAYING CHILD SUPPORT HELP?
I JUST FIGURE, IF I HAVE TO DO IT ALONE THEN I WILL...I AM HAVING TO MOVE BECAUSE I HAVE TO PAY HER DAYCARE COSTS AND OTHER COSTS AND CANT DO THAT AND LIVE WHERE I AM...
SO IF I HAVE TO DO ALL THAT WHILE HE IS COMFORTABLE..THEN I WANT HIS RIGHTS G O N E.....
ORRR...HOW DO I MAKE IT SO HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE SUPERVISED VISITS HERE IN CALIFORNIA?
THANKS AGAIN SO MUCH I APPRECIATE THE FEED BACK

 

[lcollins]

If you don't already have a case with a Support Enforcement Agency, then hop on down to the courthouse that has jurisdiction over your case (or call), and ask about filing for contempt charges on him. He is in contempt of a court order by not paying the support. He can be fined or possibly put in jail for this. This way, later down the road, when you are remarried (if ever) and new hubby wants to adopt, you'll have even more proof that dad didn't voluntarily help to support his child.

 

[Awesomemom]

TO ICOLLINS...

HELLO...ICOLLINS..
THANKS SOO MUCH FOR THE ADVICE....CAN I KEEP VISITATION FROM HIM? I CALLED THE DA TODAY BECAUSE I DO HAVE IT SET UP TO HAVE HIS CHECKS GARNISHED, THEY WILL BE CALLING ME BACK...LIKE I SAID BEFORE..I KNOW HE IS WORKING AND JUST WAITING FOR THEM TO FIND HIM.
DO I FILE HERE OR IN NEVADA?
THANKS EVERYONE FOR ALL YOUR HELP....

 

[tammy8]

The only problem is that child support and visitation are 2 separate issues. I think that you should try filing in California if you have been there at least 6 monthes. A Ca attorney should be able to let you know if you are filing correctly.

 

[Awesomemom]

tammy8

file the contempt thing in CA, with the DA here?
thanks for the info.

 

[thompsoncorey]

it IS very hard to take away rights,why would you if he never sees them? I tried with my deadbeat and failed...but did file contempt twice and he still never went to jail yet, but it's great ammo for later.nowq being that i'm remarried it will be easier for me to get rights and adoption for my husband according to my lawyer,and he also told me just not to let him see the child,then he will have to spend buucuu bucks trying to get me.also n iowa if the father has no contact with the child in 6 months the state may terminate his rights, thank you.

 

[Illinois Dad]

Here is my two cents...

You should file in the state in which your children reside, provided they have lived there long enough to be established as residents (usually six months, but laws vary so double check).

As for the visitation issue, be very careful. Visitation and support are two separate creatures and are viewed as such. You cannot withhold visitation simply because he has not paid support or you might be the one holding the bag on a contempt charge. If you have other issues that make you reluctant to allow visitation you need to address them completely separately from the support issues. File for a modification of visitation based on your ex's lifestyle presenting a danger to the children, but you better be prepared to present a very compelling case with reams of hard evidence.

I have mixed feelings about having his butt tossed in jail for not paying...on one hand it is the most detestable of men who intentionally do not pay support when they are capable and he should rot in jail...on the other hand, if he is in jail how would he pay anything at all? You can't pay if you can't earn...though he could probably send you a carton of cigarettes every month, I hear they are used like cash in jail

 

[Awesomemom]

Thompsoncorey

I actually heard somewhere that same thing about the time frame and automatic termination....
Why do I want to terminate if he doesn't see the child anyway, because I don't want him to be ABLE to see the child when he remembers once a year.
Know what I mean?
Thanks for the advice. I will see what the DA does here...regarding the contempt stuff...

 

[Awesomemom]

Illinoisdad

Hello..I do know that the two are separate, but right now can I not send the child and let HIM take me to court? I have two years of documentation on him....and it does NOT look good...at all....from admitting drug use and all that stuff....
So I file here or? I am so confused about this stuff....
He doesn't pay anyway so if he was in jail what would that do..??
Also, funny you mention that...he used to be in prison and I am tempted to have them review his records and see that he has NOT changed....he continues to call and leave messages..I wrote a letter back stating there would be no visit since he is SUPPOSEDLY still unemployed, and if he is not, then he has not let the DA or me know that he had an income to avoid paying....that should help my case right? This attorney that I spoke to in Vegas said that they can court order his gambling records and all that, can't they also order the employer(because I KNOW he is working), to release his file showing when he was hired and how he didn't report it?
We have an attorney at church I am in the process of setting up a meeting with her.
How does that sound.....I am beyond broke, but upon moving from here I will have the retainer money...I will die broke to protect my daughter.....
Thanks for all the advice and God Bless....

 

[Illinois Dad]

Well, I am not a lawyer by any means, but I do know that if you withhold the visitation you are violating the court order. Having all this stuff documented against him gives you lots of ammunition to go to court with, but if you are hauled in there by him and say, "but look, I have all this stuff from the past two years showing why it's harmful for my child to have unsupervised visits with him" the court may look at it and wonder why you haven't brought this forth sooner in an attempt to get a visitation modification. It may look at this point as though you are only being spiteful because he is not paying and you are really not looking out for the child's best interest, only wanting the money. I am sure that isn't the case and that an attorney will know how to properly present it, so keep trying to find one that will help. Maybe try the legal aid office in your county? They may not be able to get you represented pro bono, but they may help you find someone who will give you a lower rate and work out payment arrnagements. Good luck.

 

[tammy8]

Never never never put what can be considered a threat in writing, ie you will not allow visitation. This can and will used against you. I understand that it is probably not a good idea for your children to see him now but don't let the courts take away your children by taking the law into your own hands. I would hate to see a child be somewhere they shouldn't be. Why not just let him see your child (knowing that he rarely if ever does) because that way you come out smelling like a rose--See MR Judge, I have given him every opportunity to see and have a relationship with his children. Looks much better for you.

Good luck again! Your children sound very lucky to have a Mom like you .

 

[Illinois Dad]

To answer the other part of your question, yes it is possible to get medical (physical and mental) records and employment records released. This requires a hearing and a court order, at least for the medical stuff. You may be able to just have the employment records subpoenaed. By the way, what are "gambling records"? Was he treated for a gambling problem by a group like GA? If so, remember, the A stands for anonymous and there will be no records to get. Good luck