Not domestic abuse I don't think, but didn't know where to post..

[yuppicide]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Someone under the age of 18 (17 year old) and someone over the age of 18 get into a verbal argument. The underage person attacks the adult. By that I mean, they go at the person (with just their hands), the person holds up their arms to defend themselves and winds up with cuts and blood all over. They were left with cuts on their nose, two sides of their face, ear, elbow, and multiple spots on one arm. Some of them were bleeding. The 17 year old has absolutely nothing wrong what so ever.. no signs of anything.

The cops said it's not domestic violence or something like that because the adult did do anything in retaliation other than defend. The cops said that if the underage girl was over the age of 18 they'd have taken them away in handcuffs. I believe if it happens again they might take them away in handcuffs. The cops give the other victim 365 days if they wish to press charges.

They do not press charges at the current time. Some of the wounds heal already, but some like elbow, arm, and another spot on their arm about 5 inches long scar on the arm have not healed yet.

Before those 365 days are up the 17 year old will be turning 18. If those wounds do not heal and leave a permanent scar (or that person attacks them again) do you think they should press charges and will any of this be on the parent?

I mean, it's not the Mother's fault for their Daughter's behavior. Nobody wants the mother to have to bear any financial burden.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Someone under the age of 18 (17 year old) and someone over the age of 18 get into a verbal argument. The underage person attacks the adult. By that I mean, they go at the person (with just their hands), the person holds up their arms to defend themselves and winds up with cuts and blood all over. They were left with cuts on their nose, two sides of their face, ear, elbow, and multiple spots on one arm. Some of them were bleeding. The 17 year old has absolutely nothing wrong what so ever.. no signs of anything.

The cops said it's not domestic violence or something like that because the adult did do anything in retaliation other than defend. The cops said that if the underage girl was over the age of 18 they'd have taken them away in handcuffs. I believe if it happens again they might take them away in handcuffs. The cops give the other victim 365 days if they wish to press charges.

They do not press charges at the current time. Some of the wounds heal already, but some like elbow, arm, and another spot on their arm about 5 inches long scar on the arm have not healed yet.

Before those 365 days are up the 17 year old will be turning 18. If those wounds do not heal and leave a permanent scar (or that person attacks them again) do you think they should press charges and will any of this be on the parent?

I mean, it's not the Mother's fault for their Daughter's behavior. Nobody wants the mother to have to bear any financial burden.

Who are you in this situation?

If it were me, I'd press charges. If the 'kid' doesn't learn some self-control, she could be facing murder charges next time.

 

[CdwJava]

What is the relationship between the two teenagers? Siblings?

The victim can ask that the state pursue charges, but probably should have done so at the time. How much time has passed since the assault? How were injuries inflicted that caused scars?!?!

Asking for charges is no guarantee that the DA will pursue them.

 

[davew128]

The cops said that if the underage girl was over the age of 18 they'd have taken them away in handcuffs.

Pretty certain they could have while she's 17 too.

 

[yuppicide]

I'll be honest here. I'm the one who has the scars on my arm.

Not the first attack. We were going to find her another place to live if it happened again. It happened again. Last time I got attacked because I went in her bedroom to shut the window and lock it. I don't leave the front door open when I leave the house, so why should I leave the windows open too?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Because you don't have the right to dictate what goes on in her room, unless you are the homeowner!!! You were the first aggressor.

 

[CdwJava]

I'll be honest here. I'm the one who has the scars on my arm.

Not the first attack. We were going to find her another place to live if it happened again. It happened again. Last time I got attacked because I went in her bedroom to shut the window and lock it. I don't leave the front door open when I leave the house, so why should I leave the windows open too?

How did you get scars? What did she attack you with?

Did you decline to pursue charges at the time the police were called? What has changed to suddenly make you think it's a good idea to pursue charges today when they weren't at the time?

 

[st-kitts]

Because you don't have the right to dictate what goes on in her room, unless you are the homeowner!!!

If OP is a sibling, OP may be acting on the homeowner's instructions (house rules) to lock the home / close windows when he/she leaves. There is not inherent right for siblings to have exclusive domain over their bedrooms. It isn't clear if the alleged attacker was in the bedroom when the window was closed or whether the sibling became angry when they learned the OP was in the bedroom. It actually doesn't really matter.

You were the first aggressor.

You are thinking in general terms (i.e. who started the argument or disagreement) rather than the more legal definition. An act of first aggression would be the person that initiates the battery or attempted battery (assault). Making someone angry, even if the anger is righteous or justified in the situation, STILL does not justify an assault. So, no matter how confrontational the act of closing the window was, no matter how much it angered the alleged perp, no matter, it would NOT make OP the first aggressor. Not in a legal sense at least.

 

[Hot Topic]

Since you weren't honest about the situation to begin with, why should anyone believe anything you say now?

 

[Isis1]

Because you don't have the right to dictate what goes on in her room, unless you are the homeowner!!! You were the first aggressor.

how many times have you been dropped on your head?

OP, you were assaulted. plain and simple. you need to request charges be brought forward. don't mince words. this 17 year old child needs a lesson outside of mommy and daddy. trying to protect your parents will not help this child.

 

[yuppicide]

Okay, first off, who said I wasn't honest about the situation? It's only natural that some people might want to tell the story, yet remain anonymous, on an open forum such as here. I was never dishonest about the story.. just initially trying to keep anonymous if I didn't have to give any more details.

So, anyway, my Girlfriend and I are the people renting the apartment. The daughter is living with us. So, we're the ones who have rules to lock the door and window before you leave the house. I think that's common sense. We have very little rules. We don't ask to do any chores or even clean her room. The only other ones would be to hang your wet towel in the bathroom, not leave it in your bedrom to get musty/moldy, no food in your bedroom, and don't leave all your crap lying around the house.

So, the daughter was the one who attacked me with her hands.

I've just brought this up here because my Girlfriend was upset that day and if I did press charges, besides her being more upset, I don't think she should have any additional burden on her. I mean, if there's any financial burden out of this (court fees or who knows what) we don't want it coming back to us, because if we're living together it my money too.

I think I'm going to have to go back to the cops, because I found this in a small notepad, even though it doesn't have my name.. sorry her handwriting is horrible.. I can't read it all:

"To Whom This Is Addressed To,
Let it be known a gang Lord was ready to take care of you. They know what you do. Everything. They don't like it.

Knock it off.

You can't hide. ----------------------------- They know everyone. Where you work, live where your parents & family live too. I suggest you keep your distance.

Someone you shouldn't underestimate"

The ---- I couldn't read.

That must be the third revision of the note.. the first one a few pages earlier says:

"Sergeant, liutenant, captain, general, 1 star, 2 star, 3 star, O.G.

I hope you know an O.G. was ready to come over and beat the piss out of you.

Sincerely, XXXX"

I left her name out at the end.

The second one says almost the same thing, but says O.G. (Original Gangster).

Not supposed to be laughing, but it's funny that someone needs to point out what O.G. means. I've been listening to rap since the 80's.

What's worse is this is written on a notepad we bought that's supposed to be used for school. I hate over buying all those supplies when not half of them were even used for school.

 

[stealth2]

If you were assaulted, you should press charges. And Mom needs to start acting like a parent.

 

[yuppicide]

My girlfriend doesn't think the notes were directed at me and doesn't think she should say anything. She thinks they could be a school project. I said I didn't bring this up to start an argument. I brought it up out of concern for either my own safety or someone else's. Don't want this to end up like one of those beaten cheerleaders you see on TV.

 

[startedone]

You have the right to defend yourself. If a five year old came at you with a baseball bat what would you do? I'd knock the kid down and take his bat away--simple.

A 17 yr old attacking? I would use whatever force is needed to insure MY safety. This is a case by case basis of course but could include shooting the 17 yr old in extreme cases.

 

[st-kitts]

The mother is likely going to face financial consequences for the behavior of the minor child, potential legal fees, classes (think anger management, counseling) if you press charges. The mother likely needs to spend money to address the behavior of the minor child even if you don't press charges. So, if you aren't looking to spend money, you are in the wrong house it would appear.

You aren't to blame for anyone's actions, certainly not for your girlfriend's minor child's actions, but your girlfriend does have a responsibility for that minor child.

I think you should move out.