Not OT, but not legal advice either

[LdiJ]

It's impossible to come up with a single solution that fits every situation. As nice as it would be, it's impossible. There are situations where distance is a positive. So much depends on the individuals involved - parents and children alike.

Personally, I don't think Nic Sheff is someone to be considered a poster child in favor of abolishing move-aways. Yes, an argument could likely be made that if his mother hadn't moved so far away, he'd never have ended up addicted to meth. But a lot of people end up addicted to a lot of different stuff with two parents living together in one home, too.

Yes, my kids deal with long-distance parenting. It has, for them, been more positive than not. I think. I won't/can't go into details. One has an excellent relationship with Dad, the other not so much. But... I think proximity would have ruined both irreparably.

Sometimes, parents have to do the best they can.

I agree. Sometimes parents just have to do the best that they can. Its not always the best thing for all of the children, but sometimes they just have to do the best that they can.

 

[WittyUserName]

Txmom, thanks for posting this, btw. Made for some interesting discussion.

And bless you too, Nic Sheff, wherever you are. On a site where we hear all the time about neglect, abuse, and outright abandonment, you are at the very least well taken care of. May all the kids we hear about end up as articulate, educated, and college-bound.

 

[mdgtfrmhll]

Txmom, thanks for posting this, btw. Made for some interesting discussion.

And bless you too, Nic Sheff, wherever you are. On a site where we hear all the time about neglect, abuse, and outright abandonment, you are at the very least well taken care of. May all the kids we hear about end up as articulate, educated, and college-bound.

You might want to read this first; the letter written by Nick Sheff is from 1999.....a lot has happened to this guy since then, and I don't think it is because he had divorced parents in two different locations...of course I guess one could blame his bad choices in life on his parents...

The New York Times > Magazine > My Addicted Son

 

[WittyUserName]

You might want to read this first; the letter written by Nick Sheff is from 1999.....a lot has happened to this guy since then, and I don't think it is because he had divorced parents in two different locations...of course I guess one could blame his bad choices in life on his parents...

Well, I always do. Just kidding, Mom.

Yeah, that was brought to my attention after I responded this a.m. I thought I knew that name from someplace; the book his Dad wrote was mentioned pretty widely in the media.

How sad.

 

[Isis1]

You might want to read this first; the letter written by Nick Sheff is from 1999.....a lot has happened to this guy since then, and I don't think it is because he had divorced parents in two different locations...of course I guess one could blame his bad choices in life on his parents...

The New York Times > Magazine > My Addicted Son

phew, that was alot to read. every parent's worst nightmare.

 

[Rushia]

I think that Stealth put it beautifully. Some could and will make the argument that he turned to drugs because of the move but it doesn't matter to some kids. My parents were VERY antidrug and to my knowledge didn't even try them. I still attempted to try pot. I hated it.

That article was written when he was 16 and IIRC he had already been busted with pot 2 years prior and that definately colors my opinion on what he wrote. He may have had trouble relating to his parents and sibs due to his drug use. It may not have been that he missed his friends, he missed doing drugs with his friends. Time in another state will hinder his ability to find connections as easily as he can do at home.