not sure where to start

[greenlady]

What is the name of your state? VA/NC

A friend of mine is in a bad situation and I thought I would try to get him some answers and give him a hand.
He was in a relationship 3 or 4 years ago and the girlfriend was pregnant. He was an over the road truck driver and was gone for weeks at a time throughout the pregnancy. Near the end of the pregnancy, they split up and one day while he was on the road she called to tell him she had the baby. He checked all the hospitals in the area for her (asking for her by her name) and couldn't find her. She later called him and said that she had used an alias at the hospital and he would never see his child and not to look for them. He originally thought that something had happened to the baby or she had faked the whole thing (since he wasn't around much) but since realized that she had probably put the baby up for adoption.
Well she got into contact with a friend of his this week to try to get his attention and told the friend that she was going to NC to visit a son of hers that was adopted (they lived in NC when the child was born, and are now both in VA). She knew that the friend would get in touch with him and tell him what she said, and he did. So he called her and asked her about the baby and she told him to leave her alone and not to worry about it, and when he asked her if the child she was visiting was his, she didnt answer him.
Now my question is, is there any way for him to find this child now, after 3 years and after it has been adopted from birth. If what she says is the truth, then it must be an open adoption if she is able to visit the child now. If this child does exist, she kept it from him from the beginning and he never had a chance to even choose to be in its life. I know that he should have done something about this years ago, but she has always refused to give him any info about the situation. What can he do to find out if there is a child and if it is his?

Thanks for any help.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? VA/NC

A friend of mine is in a bad situation and I thought I would try to get him some answers and give him a hand.
He was in a relationship 3 or 4 years ago and the girlfriend was pregnant. He was an over the road truck driver and was gone for weeks at a time throughout the pregnancy. Near the end of the pregnancy, they split up and one day while he was on the road she called to tell him she had the baby. He checked all the hospitals in the area for her (asking for her by her name) and couldn't find her. She later called him and said that she had used an alias at the hospital and he would never see his child and not to look for them. He originally thought that something had happened to the baby or she had faked the whole thing (since he wasn't around much) but since realized that she had probably put the baby up for adoption.
Well she got into contact with a friend of his this week to try to get his attention and told the friend that she was going to NC to visit a son of hers that was adopted (they lived in NC when the child was born, and are now both in VA). She knew that the friend would get in touch with him and tell him what she said, and he did. So he called her and asked her about the baby and she told him to leave her alone and not to worry about it, and when he asked her if the child she was visiting was his, she didnt answer him.
Now my question is, is there any way for him to find this child now, after 3 years and after it has been adopted from birth. If what she says is the truth, then it must be an open adoption if she is able to visit the child now. If this child does exist, she kept it from him from the beginning and he never had a chance to even choose to be in its life. I know that he should have done something about this years ago, but she has always refused to give him any info about the situation. What can he do to find out if there is a child and if it is his?

Thanks for any help.

He should start by researching NC law re; any statute of limitations to determine Paternity.

Going over all the things he COULD HAVE done, won't really help right now~ but suffice it to say he had recourses.

If the child is adopted~ I'd recommend Dad think REALLY hard about what he wants to do considering what I stated above....ripping a 3 yr old child from the only parents they've ever known is not necessarily what I'd recommend.

If Dad can afford it, hire a P.I. to track down records & see where it leads him. If Mom isn't saying, and he never fought to establish paternity...he needs someone who can navigate the system to discover enough information to proceed from there.

 

[greenlady]

By no means does he want to take the child away from its family, I think he just wants to know the whole story and find out the truth. It would depend on what was best for the child whether or not he would want to meet or even be in the child's life at all. He just wants some straight answers.
I know he cant afford to hire a PI right now, but I have started looking into the laws in NC myself.
Thank you for your input.

 

[LdiJ]

I am having a hard time buying into this one. Just because someone is a long haul trucker doesn't mean that they are not around enough to notice whether or not someone is pregnant...and growing.

Plus, in this day and age its not possible to deliver a baby in the hospital under an alias....unless you have some darned good fake ID.

45 years ago my aunt's husband admitted his pregnant mistress into the hospital in his wife's name, so that his company insurance would cover the birth (and my aunt's name is still on this man's birth certificate...ARG) but that could not happen today.

 

[nextwife]

I am having a hard time buying into this one. Just because someone is a long haul trucker doesn't mean that they are not around enough to notice whether or not someone is pregnant...and growing.

Plus, in this day and age its not possible to deliver a baby in the hospital under an alias....unless you have some darned good fake ID.

45 years ago my aunt's husband admitted his pregnant mistress into the hospital in his wife's name, so that his company insurance would cover the birth (and my aunt's name is still on this man's birth certificate...ARG) but that could not happen today.

An alias is indeed possible. There was just a police officer in my area who was dismissed after working under his dead cousin's name for years without detection. He was actually an undocumented worker.

U.S.: Officer Is Illegal Immigrant Authorities: Milwaukee Police Officer Admits Being Illegal Immigrant, Agrees to Plead Guilty By CARRIE ANTLFINGER The Associated Press

MILWAUKEE

A police officer has agreed to plead guilty to falsely claiming to be a U.S. citizen for taking his dead cousin's identity as a teenager, according to the U.S. attorney's office.

A plea agreement released last week says prosecutors will recommend a sentence of six to 12 months for Oscar Ayala-Cornejo, 24. The maximum sentence is three years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Ayala-Cornejo also agreed to be deported after his prison sentence and resign from the Milwaukee police department, Assistant U.S. Attorney Mel Johnson said. The officer, who authorities said was not involved in any major cases, had been taken off the department's payroll earlier this month.

In February, a U.S. Department of Homeland Security agent received an anonymous call from someone reporting Ayala-Cornejo was an illegal immigrant but was using the identity of his dead cousin, the complaint says.

Investigators compared Ayala-Cornejo's driver's license to yearbook photos from two high schools he attended as two different identities, the complaint said. Relatives also admitted Ayala-Cornejo took the identity of Ayala-Cornejo's cousin Jose Morales, who was born in Chicago about seven months before Ayala-Cornejo.

Ayala-Cornejo's mother, Maria, told authorities her now-dead husband helped arrange the identity theft with relatives in Chicago, according to the complaint.

Jose Morales died of cancer, Morales' brother, Jamie, told authorities. Jamie Morales said his father volunteered Jose's identity when he died, the complaint said.

Ayala-Cornejo moved from Mexico to the U.S. around 1992, Johnson said.

He started using Morales' identity in 1999 when he changed high schools in Milwaukee, according to the complaint.

Johnson said Ayala-Cornejo could have gone through the administrative process, but instead took the illegal method.

"That was just perceived as the easy way to do it but it turned out to be a bad decision," Johnson said.

No sentencing date has been set.

Police say Ayala-Cornejo's brother, Alexander Ayala, who is also a Milwaukee police officer but is a U.S. citizen, has been assigned to administrative duty.

Messages left at Ayala-Cornejo's home and for his attorney, Michael Steinle, were not returned Monday.

Chief Deputy District Attorney Jon Reddin said Ayala-Cornejo was involved in 23 cases since he's been on the force; of those the defendant pleaded guilty, the charges were dismissed or Ayala-Cornejo wasn't a crucial witness, Reddin said.

"He doesn't appear to be a terribly active officer," Reddin said Monday. "We're fortunate he wasn't involved in any major cases."

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. ​

 

[LdiJ]

That case is just not the same. He used the identity of a real person who was no longer around to protest it...and he did get caught.

You can't just show up at a hospital to give birth, and give an alias....or at least not unless you have some serious bucks to buy some really good false ID.

 

[greenlady]

Would it be possible though for her to tell the hospital that she didnt want her name released to any visitors that might ask for her? Maybe she just told him it was an alias and just kept her info private and unreleased?

And as far as him noticing that she was pregnant, he did say that everything he saw would lead him to believe she was, but there have been documented cases of women faking pregnancies too. The only thing that I was implying by saying that he was a long haul driver was that it would have been easier for her to pull off a fake pregnancy due to him only being home for limited amounts of time.

And as far as I can tell, the statute of limitations for establishing paternity in NC is until the child reaches "age of majority," so he is still well within the limits.