o.k. ohiogal Now what ??? when can WE speak for the little ones?

[tiffanys]

What is the name of your state? pa
My sister and I have posted before on this case [titled new at all this and been had.]
We went with my sister to court last week, for an emergency custody hearing [with a court appointed lawyer,] she wanted to try to get her son back from her husband,who is holding him from her.
when we got to court her husband dint show up, the judge said 'what proof do you have that he is in danger,' she froze and dint say a word, mom and I knew that would happen. we would have spoke up for her if we could have, so he dismissed her and we left.my mom was so upset. and tiffany was a basket case.
now ,surprise, tommorow there is an' emergency custody hearing' that her husband went and had his lawer ,[who is being paid for by his mom who is in real estate and knows the guy,] set up to try and take the kids from her. If they ask him that same question he is going to lie and say that she is beating the kids, and that my mom is beating them.its so hurtfull he knows us better than that.
you see my sister [and we] wont lie, she dont have anything to accuse him of ,accept stuff that dont involve the kids, thats why she is getting screwed.
we are 100 percent certain that his new girlfreind and mom are coaching him on what to do and what not to do. they are making wild accusations of child abuse, ect ect.
my sisters court appointed lawyer, is as disintrested as anyone can be who is being paid for by the state. he barely said five scentences.
when we go tommorow and again on friday, is there a way that we would be allowed to speak in behalf of the kids?
my sister absolutely feezes up, she cant talk ,she dont know what to say she cries right away, she shakes, people walk all over her. why is no one being called to testify? why can no one else defend her and these kids. the kids have no voice.
what could she use to reason with the judge that it is in the best intrest of the boys for them to share custody equally, so the boys can see their families on both sides? tiffany will agree to that, thats what they discussed before his mom got involved, she dont expect full custody, she dont want child support, she isnt being unreasonable, they are accusing us of stupid crap . she hasnt accused them of anything. no one has kept the kids from them, I fear he on the other hand will out of spite and prompting from his girlfreind, will demand full custody and child support so that my sister will for the rest of her life have nothing.
I am genuinely concerned for the boys emotional needs. and it seems that no one else but our family is.
tammy

 

[GrowUp!]

#1. If you have a problem with your COURT-APPOINTED attorney -- who is paid for by the taxpayers -- then I suggest you pony up the money to hire your own attorney. You can't afford one? Well neither can most people and the court doesn't care. I am sick of paying for this crap as a taxpayer.

#2. YOU do not get to "speak for the child." You are biased, as you have a vested interest, just like the other parent. If you want a neutral person, then you motion the court for a Guardian Ad Litem. That is who the court will listen to as far as the concerns of the child(ren) go. If appointed, expect BOTH parents to split the cost equally, including a down payment.

 

[LdiJ]

If your sister cannot pull herself together enough to do what she feels that she needs to do for her kids. Then she has no choice but to get a decent attorney who can speak for her. However, she really ought to consider some counselling as well, to overcome this inability to speak.

 

[tiffanys]

no need for that answer

I am not tiffany, I am her sister who is greatly concerned, I am 44 years old, I think I am grown up enough to know that if YOU have a problem with MY TAX DOLLARS paying for helping my sister and thousands of others who are less fortunate than others, keep your opinion on that to yourself, you answered none of my questions, instead you, anonymous person ,would rather critisize and scold, you needent answer a post if you dont want to. this is the second time I got a harsh answer. you seem so annoyed that I ask questions at this site, I really feel if you have not the time and patience for all this, dont do it. Not everyone is so high and mighty and a college graduate. you seem to enjoy belittling people.
I am just a s frustrated with my sister as the rest of the family, which is why I am more concerned with the boys welfare.
I did not say that she had a problem with her court appointed lawyer, but I know enough to realize that he will only put into it as much as it concerns him for the pay that he receives. Im not blaming him, thats the way it is.
which is why I asked if there was a way for her to request help from the family.If we had ANY WAY AT ALL to get money we would have by now, dont you think? what is this site for if you can afford a lawyer? What lawyer will work for her on a promise to pay? she has no credit cards, no bank account, no job yet, for she was married and it was all joint.
As for the comment of her getting councel for her inability to speak when cornered,
she has had this her whole life, and she has seen councelers before, many people cant think under pressure, which is why we have family and friends, and if we cant count on them to go to bat for us, then what good is the human race?
what is a guardian Ad litem? and how would she ask for one?
tammy

 

[Just Blue]

This might be something that your sister could do to help herself....There might be something offered by your local Community College and they are wonderful about finding financial aide...Mught be worth checking into...At some point in her life she will have to speak up for herself...might as well start now...good luck!!



http://www.amanet.org/resources/assertiveness.htm?CMP=KAC-G1065&pcode=XAR7&gclid=COeSo83pl4oCFQLxgAodCSUyeg

 

[Silverplum]

"we are 100 percent certain that his new girlfreind and mom are coaching him on what to do and what not to do."

Not illegal. And the exact same thing you and your family are doing for your sister.

I think it best if you spend some time READING on this site. Pay attention to which state is under discussion -- only her state matters for your sister.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? pa
My sister and I have posted before on this case [titled new at all this and been had.]
We went with my sister to court last week, for an emergency custody hearing [with a court appointed lawyer,] she wanted to try to get her son back from her husband,who is holding him from her.
when we got to court her husband dint show up, the judge said 'what proof do you have that he is in danger,' she froze and dint say a word, mom and I knew that would happen. we would have spoke up for her if we could have, so he dismissed her and we left.my mom was so upset. and tiffany was a basket case.

Your sister needs to speak up! You and your mom cannot be involved in this and were lucky if you were even allowed in the courtroom. As an attorney, I would have had you thrown out.

now ,surprise, tommorow there is an' emergency custody hearing' that her husband went and had his lawer ,[who is being paid for by his mom who is in real estate and knows the guy,] set up to try and take the kids from her. If they ask him that same question he is going to lie and say that she is beating the kids, and that my mom is beating them.its so hurtfull he knows us better than that.

He needs proof! He has to prove his allegations.


you see my sister [and we] wont lie, she dont have anything to accuse him of ,accept stuff that dont involve the kids, thats why she is getting screwed.


She is not getting screwed because of that. She needs to PARTICIPATE in her own case. If she can't/won't do that then that is a problem! And no attorney can fix that.

we are 100 percent certain that his new girlfreind and mom are coaching him on what to do and what not to do. they are making wild accusations of child abuse, ect ect.

What proof do you have? No one but the parties and their counsel should be in the courtroom with the judge tomorrow.


my sisters court appointed lawyer, is as disintrested as anyone can be who is being paid for by the state. he barely said five scentences.

You addressed this post to me and now you are going to insult me? Why should I bother answering? I have taken many cases paid for by the state. And sometimes there is NOTHING that can be said especially if the client is NOT bothering to work on her own case.


when we go tommorow and again on friday, is there a way that we would be allowed to speak in behalf of the kids?

No. You have no business being in the courtroom except as a witness. And even then you won't just be allowed to launch in to monologues. You will only be able to answer questions and those questions must be relevant to the issue at hand.


my sister absolutely feezes up, she cant talk ,she dont know what to say she cries right away, she shakes, people walk all over her. why is no one being called to testify?


Your sister really needs to grow up and talk to her court appointed attorney (how did she gets one for a civil case anyway -- or is this a legal aide attorney?). Many times hearings are done with attorney statements. Especially for temporary orders.

why can no one else defend her and these kids. the kids have no voice.

The kids need to have a GAL appointed. That would be their voice.


what could she use to reason with the judge that it is in the best intrest of the boys for them to share custody equally, so the boys can see their families on both sides? tiffany will agree to that, thats what they discussed before his mom got involved, she dont expect full custody, she dont want child support, she isnt being unreasonable, they are accusing us of stupid crap . she hasnt accused them of anything. no one has kept the kids from them, I fear he on the other hand will out of spite and prompting from his girlfreind, will demand full custody and child support so that my sister will for the rest of her life have nothing.
I am genuinely concerned for the boys emotional needs. and it seems that no one else but our family is.
tammy

He can demand whatever he wants. So can she. Your sister however needs to develop a backbone and communicate. If she doesn't do that at this point then she will be the one losing. You and your mom are far too involved (as most probably are hubby's girlfriend and mother). But you cannot do this for your sister -- this is NOT your fight.

 

[nextwife]

"Your sister really needs to grow up and talk to her court appointed attorney (how did she gets one for a civil case anyway -- or is this a legal aide attorney?). "

I was wondering about this.

Why is a NCP being provided a court ordered attorney? Don't NCP's normally pay for their own attorney?

 

[LdiJ]

"Your sister really needs to grow up and talk to her court appointed attorney (how did she gets one for a civil case anyway -- or is this a legal aide attorney?). "

I was wondering about this.

Why is a NCP being provided a court ordered attorney? Don't NCP's normally pay for their own attorney?

I know that in some states/counties you can get court appointed attornies for family law cases. I can't remember where, just that I have seen it.

 

[acmb05]

I know that in some states/counties you can get court appointed attornies for family law cases. I can't remember where, just that I have seen it.

I know for a fact it is true in North Carolina because I got one when my ex took me to court, As long as the action is brought against you. If you innitiate the action you dont have that option.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not tiffany, I am her sister who is greatly concerned, I am 44 years old, I think I am grown up enough to know that if YOU have a problem with MY TAX DOLLARS paying for helping my sister and thousands of others who are less fortunate than others, keep your opinion on that to yourself, you answered none of my questions, instead you, anonymous person ,would rather critisize and scold, you needent answer a post if you dont want to. this is the second time I got a harsh answer. you seem so annoyed that I ask questions at this site, I really feel if you have not the time and patience for all this, dont do it. Not everyone is so high and mighty and a college graduate. you seem to enjoy belittling people.
I am just a s frustrated with my sister as the rest of the family, which is why I am more concerned with the boys welfare.


The problem is YOU ARE A LEGAL STRANGER! You have no business in this case and a judge will not ALLOW you in this case becaues you are not a party. Nor is your mom. While you may think it harsh that I say your sister needs to grow up -- she does. If she wants her kids SHE and SHE ALONE has to fight for them.


I did not say that she had a problem with her court appointed lawyer, but I know enough to realize that he will only put into it as much as it concerns him for the pay that he receives. Im not blaming him, thats the way it is.

Bull. Again I say bull! And I know what I speak of.


which is why I asked if there was a way for her to request help from the family.If we had ANY WAY AT ALL to get money we would have by now, dont you think? what is this site for if you can afford a lawyer? What lawyer will work for her on a promise to pay? she has no credit cards, no bank account, no job yet, for she was married and it was all joint.


hence it was all marital assets and therefore she was entitled to a portion thereof! But she needs to get into court and get TEMPORARY ORDERS -- NOT EMERGENCY ORDERS. Different animal.

As for the comment of her getting councel for her inability to speak when cornered,
she has had this her whole life, and she has seen councelers before, many people cant think under pressure, which is why we have family and friends, and if we cant count on them to go to bat for us, then what good is the human race?
what is a guardian Ad litem? and how would she ask for one?
tammy

A Gaurdian ad litem is a representative for the children. If she wnats one for the children then she has her attorney ask for one to be appointed. In court ATTORNEYS speak for people. But the clients HAVE to participate and speak with the attorney and make their wishes known.

 

[nextwife]

I know for a fact it is true in North Carolina because I got one when my ex took me to court, As long as the action is brought against you. If you innitiate the action you dont have that option.

So if an unmarried mom files for custody, initiating the custody action, the NCP gets a CO'd attorney?

 

[stealth2]

my sister absolutely feezes up, she cant talk ,she dont know what to say she cries right away, she shakes, people walk all over her.

So what is she going to do if she has custody and she gets called in to school for an educational or discipline problem with one of the kids? Honestly - if she is incapable of standing up for them, then they really may be better off with their father.

 

[Just Blue]

So what is she going to do if she has custody and she gets called in to school for an educational or discipline problem with one of the kids? Honestly - if she is incapable of standing up for them, then they really may be better off with their father.

That's what I have been thinking!! This mother would not be able to advocate for her children...They really might be better off with Dad.

Tiffany's sister....Why is your sister like this? Was she abused on some way as a child? Has she ever sought psychiatric help for this problem? Perhaps some kind of medication might help her...

 

[LdiJ]

That's what I have been thinking!! This mother would not be able to advocate for her children...They really might be better off with Dad.

Tiffany's sister....Why is your sister like this? Was she abused on some way as a child? Has she ever sought psychiatric help for this problem? Perhaps some kind of medication might help her...

Or counselling as I mentioned earlier, to help her learn to "deal". If the children really are not better off with dad, even if she has the world's best attorney she has to be able to testify without freezing up and bursting into tears.

If this were my sister, I would be getting her butt into counseling one way or another to teach her to deal with the world before suggesting that she attempt any further legal action.