Overnight visitation

[Scooki]

What is the name of your state? VA

I have a 6 year old who is almost 7. She has been spending every other weekend with her dad due to a court order that granted visitation to her father. her father shares an apartment with a roomate and is not equipped to keep her overnight. Since he can not keep her overnight she has been spending the night at his parent's house for the past 6 1/2 years. Recently she has begun begging not to have to spend the night because she hates staying the night away from home. I have gone back and forth with her father about this and for some reason he does whatever his mother tells him, even though he is almost 31. I have never denied visitation and have 99.9% of the time let his parents pick her up to take her to dinner or wherever to spend time with her. I have no problem with the visitation whatsoever, but when it comes to her not wanting to spend the night and being forced, I do have a problem. Is there anything legally that can be done since it is very emotionally upsetting to my daughter. She has told me she likes to go visit, but she does not want to spend the night and she cries and begs me not to make her spend the night, but they will not agree to back off and let her come home. Her paternal grandmother said that six year olds should not be given that kind of choice. I do not agree. is there anything that I can do legally, because the visitation was not granted to the grandparents, but to the father who is not able to keep her overnight . I would be willing to let her spend the night if she wanted, but I feel that she should not be forced.. any info would be greatly appreciated.

 

[VeronicaGia]

I agree that a six year old shouldn't be making these types of decisions. If she begged you to never go to school again, would you let her stop? JMHO - neither here nor there.

It sounds as if the NCP is trying to accommodate her because he cannot afford a place for her to spend the night. In a way, I find this admirable, because he knows his place isn't fit for her and is trying to make her comfortable.

I also know that this is not the grandparent's option. If I were you, I'd try to work it out with your ex, tell him what's going on, see if other arrangements can be made. Does he also stay the night at his parents when your daughter does? Maybe this is a solution, that way he'll be there with her. If he wanted her to spend the night at his place, on a blow up mattress or cot, would that be acceptable to you?

I just feel that parents should try to work together just like they would if they were still together if its possible, before running to the courts. If that doesn't work, then you can ask the courts to have the order changed to state that until he gets suitable accommodations, no overnights will occur.