parent rights to 15 yr olds unborn child

[prussia2]

What is the name of your state?virginia, My 15 year old is pregnant, her boyfried is still in the picture.My husband and I would like to take full custody of this child until my daughter has graduated high school and is financially able to raise this child on her own, at which time we would give custody back to her.Her boyfriend and her both agree considering their both so young.Can this be done? We wuld also like to allow the babies father to have reasonable visitation and pay child support.Can anyone help?A concerned mom in va.

 

[nextwife]

How old is the father, is he also a child?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?virginia, My 15 year old is pregnant, her boyfried is still in the picture.My husband and I would like to take full custody of this child until my daughter has graduated high school and is financially able to raise this child on her own, at which time we would give custody back to her.Her boyfriend and her both agree considering their both so young.Can this be done? We wuld also like to allow the babies father to have reasonable visitation and pay child support.Can anyone help?A concerned mom in va.

Why do you think that you need to have full custody?. You have custody of your daughter, she would have custody of her child, therefore you would effectively have custody until your daughter is an adult.

 

[prussia2]

My concerns are on the fathers side what rights would he have only being 15 himself. and my husband and myself would like to be able to make any legal decisions concerning the baby.

 

[stealth2]

My concerns are on the fathers side what rights would he have only being 15 himself. and my husband and myself would like to be able to make any legal decisions concerning the baby.

I wonder how the other grandparents would feel about that? Once paternity is established, they will have the same rights as you do.

I know you're not going to like this suggestion, but I'd urge both you and his parents to give serious thought to discussing adoption with the kids. 15 is way too young to be parenting a child - even with your help - and the kiddo deserves better.

 

[prussia2]

I wonder how the other grandparents would feel about that? Once paternity is established, they will have the same rights as you do.

I know you're not going to like this suggestion, but I'd urge both you and his parents to give serious thought to discussing adoption with the kids. 15 is way too young to be parenting a child - even with your help - and the kiddo deserves better.

All four parents have met and agreed that full custody should remain with my husband and i. until the kids have grown up and are able to take care of this baby on their own. If things change we are more than willing to continue toraise this baby ourselves. in that instance we would adopt this baby. We would like to go ahead and adopt but our daughter age 15 seems to think this boyfriend is going to stick around and would like him to be apart of this babys life. But what if he doesn't?I was a 15 year old mom myself.I want my daughter to be able to do things that i was unable to do because i dropped out of school and raised my baby.

 

[nextwife]

Uh-huh. That's the problem. You are already starting to think that the kids agreeing to GUARDIANSHIP or custody for now entitles you to believe that if they are NOT together in a few years, you will have the right to ADOPT. Dad may very well have a new relationship by then, as may mom, and the bioparents will have every right to block an adoption, file for custody themselves and/or a visitation schedule. The child may end up torn between three or four households that all want custody. That is why Stealth's suggestion may be the better one for THE BABY.

You certainly can do an adoption if you want a child. There are tens of thousands of baby's that need parents and lots of near empty nesters or completely empty nesters are adopting baby's. If your goal is adoption, it need not depend upon it being THIS baby. This is your daughter's and her boyfriend's baby.

 

[stealth2]

And how many times are we going to repeat the cycle? Grandma was a parent at 15. Mom's a parent at 15. What about this child?

 

[nextwife]

Additionally, CUSTODY does NOT remove dad's rights to file for a visitation schedule, to ask for joint legal custody (now OR later), block move-aways, and to be involved in any major decision making for his baby.

As to child support, you are fully aware that this is a 15 year old child. He is prohibited form working more than a certain number of hours per week, and even then will likely make very little. If you do this, DON"T rely on much financial help while the father is a CHILD.

In the long run, it is better for this child if both of these CHILDREN complete their educations, go on to college and are capable of making a decent living for their child's sake. Your interest in raising this child should not be used to ruin either or both of these kid's futures.

 

[prussia2]

Additionally, CUSTODY does NOT remove dad's rights to file for a visitation schedule, to ask for joint legal custody (now OR later), block move-aways, and to be involved in any major decision making for his baby.

As to child support, you are fully aware that this is a 15 year old child. He is prohibited form working more than a certain number of hours per week, and even then will likely make very little. If you do this, DON"T rely on much financial help while the father is a CHILD.

In the long run, it is better for this child if both of these CHILDREN complete their educations, go on to college and are capable of making a decent living for their child's sake. Your interest in raising this child should not be used to ruin either or both of these kid's futures.

My main goal is so these kids can continue their education and to make a decent living so they can at some point raise the child on their own.My daughter did not want a abortion nor to give this child up for a outside adoption.So myself and my husband will raise this child until she is capable of doing so.

 

[Buddabrother]

One thing that seems to keep being left out of the various post is that that 15 year old boy will have rights as the childs father. Regardless of any possible relationship with the mother down the road, the father of the child needs to be factored into every decision you are planning...to do otherwise is not only legally actionable, but wrong.

 

[prussia2]

And how many times are we going to repeat the cycle? Grandma was a parent at 15. Mom's a parent at 15. What about this child?

Well , I'm pretty sure you're one of those people who has never made a mistake in you life.I've done everything I could possibly do to always let my daughter know how hard it's been for me,being a parent at 15.I guess that wasn't enough, considering the situation we're in.However, i've done a good job raising my kids.and will never regret my choices.I had no one there for me but my daughter will!!!!!

 

[prussia2]

One thing that seems to keep being left out of the various post is that that 15 year old boy will have rights as the childs father. Regardless of any possible relationship with the mother down the road, the father of the child needs to be factored into every decision you are planning...to do otherwise is not only legally actionable, but wrong.

The father has been factored into this,we will make sure he will be a part of his childs life,if he's there for my daughters or not.This is and will always be his biofather.

 

[stealth2]

The father has been factored into this,we will make sure he will be a part of his childs life,if he's there for my daughters or not.This is and will always be his biofather.

Which brings us back to the fact that he can block any move you make in the future to adopt his child.

Unfortunately, I've seen way too many situations just like yours. And then, when the bioparents are of age and feel they're ready to take on their responsibility - the grandparents suddenly aren't so willing to let go of the kid. And it becomes a dreadful situation for the child. I know, I know - you'd never do that. None of those "other" grandparents were ever planning to do it, either. I've never seen this situation turn out well in the long run.

 

[SingleMom67]

Which brings us back to the fact that he can block any move you make in the future to adopt his child.

Unfortunately, I've seen way too many situations just like yours. And then, when the bioparents are of age and feel they're ready to take on their responsibility - the grandparents suddenly aren't so willing to let go of the kid. And it becomes a dreadful situation for the child. I know, I know - you'd never do that. None of those "other" grandparents were ever planning to do it, either. I've never seen this situation turn out well in the long run.

Exactly, I agree. Further, you're planning on taking care of this child for what, three, four, five, years - Until such time as YOU determine parents are ready (which is a debatable topic in and of itself!!!!!)??? Then, suddenly remove the child from the life it knows and "give" it back to the mother/father or both. This all just screams of everyone else needs and wants coming BEFORE this child's best interest!!!