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Parenting schedule post dissolution modification

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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
These statements concern me. You sound sneaky in obtaining more than the ordered visitation
Not sneaky at all. If one parent is otherwise occupied, why is it not in the best interests of the children to spend that time with the other parent if s/he is available? Why is it sneaky for the available parent to offer his/her time? And when that time becomes a status quo, it makes sense to immortalize it in a court order.
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
These statements concern me. You sound sneaky in obtaining more than the ordered visitation

Why do you think "managing" your attorney is the right approach?

It appears that your children may not be receiving the attention from mom that they receive from you. It sounds like mom has other younger children who will definitely require more of her time. The question is this rising to the standard of neglecting them.

I am concerned that she does not sound like she is supporting them financially.

I believe you need an objective, professional opinion by a psychologist who specializes in child custody issues.
Wrong. You are completely wrong In What you are stating. They have shared parenting. Why do you think neglect is necessary? It isn’t. A change in anyone’s situation is what is needed to modify shared parenting.
 

t74

Member
Wrong. You are completely wrong In What you are stating. They have shared parenting. Why do you think neglect is necessary? It isn’t. A change in anyone’s situation is what is needed to modify shared parenting.
I am questioning the tone of the bolded statements. There are far better ways of making the poiints. It would have been far better to ask what to provide the attorney to facilitate filing rather than asking how to "manage" the attorney. The other statement just seemed to have the wrong tone and could be held against him; it sounds like he was plotting to obtain more time rather than being available to provide the best care for the children.

His emphasis on school tardiness, while a concern, may have a legitimate reason. In my case, my K was on a special bus route because his class was temporarily relocated to a different building. Since he was the only child in our neighborhood, his just after lunch pickup at our front door was often missed. To get him to school, I had to get an infant and a toddler (and often myself) ready to take him to school. Add the time to get them into the car, drive to school, find a place to park, unload the stroller and load the younger children into in and walk to the office in the temporarily area at the back of the building, and sign him in could take 45 minutes. It was a problem, but not my fault. There could be ways to help mom. The children are old enough to get themselves moving; buy them alarm clocks - one for each child at each house so it is a habit - for a starter.

I believe if OP's description of what is occurring that there is good reason for OP to be concerned and am surprised he did not ask for advice on becoming the primary residential parent. I maintain that it would benefit the children to involve a child psychologist specializing in custody matters. I am surprised that he has not done more before now.
 
My attorney works for me. He asked in the initial consultation what is it that I want, do I want 50-50, full custody, residential parent etc. By manage, I mean, I want to first of all, let him know what it is I want. I don't want to ask for something and not really know what it is I'm getting or how hard it is. Secondly, I want to make sure I'm not running to him for every little question which will run up my bill with him. Thirdly, I want to make sure he's doing what he should be doing, when he should be doing it, so he's not wasting my time and money. He's the expert and could easily take me and my money for a ride, so yes, I want to manage him in this context, to make sure he's acting for my (and therefore my children's) best interests. I've already answered your other comments on getting to spend more time with my own children.
 
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Just Blue

Senior Member
My attorney works for me. He asked in the initial consultation what is it that I want, do I want 50-50, full custody, residential parent etc. By manage, I mean, I want to first of all, let him know what it is I want. I don't want to ask for something and not really know what it is I'm getting or how hard it is. Secondly, I want to make sure I'm not running to him for every little question which will run up my bill with him. Thirdly, I want to make sure he's doing what he should be doing, when he should be doing it, so he's wasting my time and money. He's the expert and could easily take me and my money for a ride, so yes, I want to manage him in this context, to make sure he's acting for my (and therefore my children's) best interests. I've already answered your other comments on getting to spend more time with my own children.
(y)
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
My attorney works for me. He asked in the initial consultation what is it that I want, do I want 50-50, full custody, residential parent etc. By manage, I mean, I want to first of all, let him know what it is I want. I don't want to ask for something and not really know what it is I'm getting or how hard it is. Secondly, I want to make sure I'm not running to him for every little question which will run up my bill with him. Thirdly, I want to make sure he's doing what he should be doing, when he should be doing it, so he's not wasting my time and money. He's the expert and could easily take me and my money for a ride, so yes, I want to manage him in this context, to make sure he's acting for my (and therefore my children's) best interests. I've already answered your other comments on getting to spend more time with my own children.
Then what you need to do, is decide in your own mind what you truly and honestly believe is in the best interest of your children...truly and honestly. Once you figure that out, you will know how to instruct your attorney.

You don't need our opinions on that, you need your own, what is truly in your heart. When you make that decision, look ahead to how your children will feel about it when they are adults. You will have many more adult years with them than you will have childhood ones, and what you do today may dictate how they feel about you then.
 
Your attorney can file a motion for temporary changes to reflect the status quo.
So she got served and is saying she's going back to the original order now. My lawyer thinks that this temporary change might just be for pre decree, and we therefore might not get it. I've seen else where I might be able to get a temporary ex parte injunction so that I can keep seeing my kids the same amount, is this correct?

My lawyer is talking about him prepping for discovery and witnesses and deadline of documents, is this even required for the initial hearing? I would have thought that was more relevant to the final trial? He's saying he needs several full days to get this done, and that's going to cost thousands just for that..
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
So she got served and is saying she's going back to the original order now. My lawyer thinks that this temporary change might just be for pre decree, and we therefore might not get it. I've seen else where I might be able to get a temporary ex parte injunction so that I can keep seeing my kids the same amount, is this correct?

My lawyer is talking about him prepping for discovery and witnesses and deadline of documents, is this even required for the initial hearing? I would have thought that was more relevant to the final trial? He's saying he needs several full days to get this done, and that's going to cost thousands just for that..
I warned you in the very first response on this thread that once you served mom the odds are that she would revert to the court order. You knew that could and probably would happen. Deal with your attorney as to whether or not there is anything that you can do to maintain the status quo in the short term.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
So she got served and is saying she's going back to the original order now. My lawyer thinks that this temporary change might just be for pre decree, and we therefore might not get it. I've seen else where I might be able to get a temporary ex parte injunction so that I can keep seeing my kids the same amount, is this correct?

My lawyer is talking about him prepping for discovery and witnesses and deadline of documents, is this even required for the initial hearing? I would have thought that was more relevant to the final trial? He's saying he needs several full days to get this done, and that's going to cost thousands just for that..
Listen to your attorney. It will not reflect well on her to be this petty. As for your lawyer, you need to trust him. If you don't, hire new counsel.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I've seen else where I might be able to get a temporary ex parte injunction so that I can keep seeing my kids the same amount, is this correct?
I bet that wasn't something your attorney told you, was it?
There is no emergency or even urgent situation that can't wait to be resolved during the normal time-frame for court hearings. There won't be any ex-parte order.
 
I bet that wasn't something your attorney told you, was it?
There is no emergency or even urgent situation that can't wait to be resolved during the normal time-frame for court hearings. There won't be any ex-parte order.
That's correct. I read it on another forum that it was possible.

If I have to wait for the hearing regarding keep what parenting time I had, then that is acceptable to me. I will still see my children in that time and 30 days isn't too long to wait. But at the hearing, will there be something that is ordered so that I can get back my parenting time until if/when there is a trial?
 
I asked him about an injunction, but waiting on his reply. He did say if they didn't accept the temporary order he would try to expedite the hearing, but I don't know what will happen at a hearing to change anything. I'm meeting him tomorrow, but I want to be prepared for the meeting.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Ohiogal is an Ohio family law attorney and GAL (Guardian Ad Litem). You can listen to what she says. With that said, the BEST source of information about your case is your attorney
 
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