Lovely Lotus
Junior Member
Oh okay. My boyfriend wants to adopt her anyway no matter how t turns out. So that works.
Your *boyfriend* will not be able to do so. Once he's your husband for a while, he *may* be able to. If Dad or the court agrees.Oh okay. My boyfriend wants to adopt her anyway no matter how t turns out. So that works.
Oh okay. My boyfriend wants to adopt her anyway no matter how t turns out. So that works.
He signed the voluntary acknowledgement of paternity, his names on her birth certificate, and has his last name.OP, I'm not convinced that your husband really IS this child's legal father. You stated that she was born prior to your marriage, so when and in what manner was paternity established?
However, he was apparently fine and dandy as Daddy material when you chose to sleep with him. That IS an issue you will have to address.I am sorry i dont want a man who threatened to kill me and my daughter to be known as her father when he hasnt been there for her. Oh, and he was sneaking around with another chick the day she was born.
She really should know already that he's not her father. If she's calling him Daddy, it's already a little late.With the situation, i have no choice but to explain to her when shes older. She will know hes not her father, but that doesnt mean he isnt her dady who kept her from being homeless and was giving me money for formula when her supposed real father was blowig.money on stupid crap.
Well... here's the thing... If you needed to rely on this other guy to buy stuff for your baby, you were NOT providing for your child(ren). When/if you break up with this guy, he can walk away from your 2yo w/o a backward glance. And THEN how do you intend to support yourself and your children?Ok. I was 17, just got out of a two year stint of a boarding school where i wasnt allowed to contact anyone and only saw my parents once that two years. I got ot, was having a wild streak, and just wanted to feel cared about. Was it stupid? Yes. Do i regrt it? No. My daughter is my lifesaver and i am a damn good mother from the circumstances. Atleast i raise my own children and make sure they have what they need. I bet yor life aint so perfect behind this facade you have on the board either, so those in glass houses should not throw stones.
The ONLY reason he was buying her formula, was because I had THREE TIMES where my roomates dogs got ahold of my cans of formula, my bottles, etc and destroyed them. I am providing for my children. I buy them food, clothes, diapers, etc with money that I make doing odd jobs until my boyfriend gets a job. Only reason he doesn't have on, is because he quit the last one after needing knee surgery and physical therapy. I may not have been an adult when I had her, but I grew up fast. And FYI, it was his idea to have her call him daddy. Its just like an adoption situation, when you adopt a child at birth, no one knows what the appropriate age is to tell them they are adopted, if ever. He helped raise her since 5 months old, when she didn't know what was going on. I got her through her stranger anxiety after my husband left, and my boyfriend has been there to support us 100% just like I help take care of his two kids from a previous.Well... here's the thing... If you needed to rely on this other guy to buy stuff for your baby, you were NOT providing for your child(ren). When/if you break up with this guy, he can walk away from your 2yo w/o a backward glance. And THEN how do you intend to support yourself and your children?
As a parent of older teens, I hate to see young women in a position of reliance on anyone. If you're adult enough to have a child, you need to be adult enough to figure out how to support yourself and that child. You should not be in a position where you need a man to do so.
I also hate the thought that my son could get trapped in a situation such as your b/f is in. It's not right, and it's not fair.
Sweetheart - the point is that YOU should be working to support your children, not relying on your b/f to support you and a child that is not his. Because he CAN walk away and will owe you and that child NOTHING. He will only have to support the child he made with you. Period.The ONLY reason he was buying her formula, was because I had THREE TIMES where my roomates dogs got ahold of my cans of formula, my bottles, etc and destroyed them. I am providing for my children. I buy them food, clothes, diapers, etc with money that I make doing odd jobs until my boyfriend gets a job. Only reason he doesn't have on, is because he quit the last one after needing knee surgery and physical therapy. I may not have been an adult when I had her, but I grew up fast.
And that was a terrible idea that you, as her mother, should have nixed immediately. He is NOT her Daddy. Not until he does actually LEGALLY adopt her - which will not happen until you are legally married for a period of time. That is simply reality.And FYI, it was his idea to have her call him daddy. Its just like an adoption situation, when you adopt a child at birth, no one knows what the appropriate age is to tell them they are adopted, if ever. He helped raise her since 5 months old, when she didn't know what was going on. I got her through her stranger anxiety after my husband left, and my boyfriend has been there to support us 100% just like I help take care of his two kids from a previous.
And FYI, it was his idea to have her call him daddy. Its just like an adoption situation, when you adopt a child at birth, no one knows what the appropriate age is to tell them they are adopted, if ever.[/B] He helped raise her since 5 months old, when she didn't know what was going on. I got her through her stranger anxiety after my husband left, and my boyfriend has been there to support us 100% just like I help take care of his two kids from a previous.