Paying for college: can the NCP be forced?

[Rushia]

Right now you have not given enough proof to show that son is emancipated---now you're starting to sound like a Dad that just wants to get out of paying CS. I'm really not too thrilled with NCPs when they start this discussion, so don't take it personally.

And I don't want to hear any even if situations----Even if son did not go straight from high school to college, even if he doesn't do things the way you think he should, even if you two aren't close, even if Mom is the biggest witch in the world.....

After your son is 21 you can do as you like. Don't give him any money. Will all your assets to the current wife or to the whales---or blow through it while you are alive. Doesn't matter---your financial obligation ends according to court when your son is 21 and not before.

Penelope, maybe you missed my post, but those ARE grounds to modify and potentially stop CS. NY is one of the screwy states. CS goes to 21, but after 18 they are adults. Since they are so grown up as to not go to school, work, live on their own, marry etc etc then they can support themselves!

 

[fairisfair]

BL, I did not evade questions about the court order. I thought I said it several times, in fact. As for not going to court, having child support raised does not require a court appearance-- the ex only has to fill out a paper and send it in, and it automatically goes up by a small amount. I don't know why you think I'm trying to bamboozle anyone. Your hostility is inexplicable to me.



Thank you. What you say is exactly in line with my understanding of the situation. I'm happy that an actual attorney has checked in, because I was starting to get really confused.
As for having him be emancipated... what exactly would that entail? Assuming his mother is not going to cooperate and I don't want to involve him too much if I can help it.

Thanks also to folks who clarified about paying for college. I would help him voluntarily but do not want to deal with a cout order to do so.

Just to clarify. I am also NOT an attorney. but I could play one on t.v.

As for the emancipation you would need to prove that your son has established his own residence and is supporting himself. (since you haven't mentioned armed forces, marriages or other qualifying events)

otherwise. sorry, in accordance with New York statute you are paying until he is 21, college or not.

 

[ancalagonblack]

Right now you have not given enough proof to show that son is emancipated---now you're starting to sound like a Dad that just wants to get out of paying CS. I'm really not too thrilled with NCPs when they start this discussion, so don't take it personally.

My first thread was about how to get the CS check made out directly to my son and not his mother if he moved out. I had no thought that I would or could stop CS until he was 21-- it's BL who insisted that I could and that I was an idiot sitting on my hands if I didn't. But I would like very much not to have my ex, a court, nor a NYS government office meddling in my pay or my relationship with my kid.

What proof would I need that he was independent? You say I "haven't given enough proof," so I'm curious what they court would want. Copy of his lease? His pay stub? I don't know if he'd give them to me since his mother would be PISSED if he cooperating in terminating his CS.

 

[fairisfair]

My first thread was about how to get the CS check made out directly to my son and not his mother if he moved out. I had no thought that I would or could stop CS until he was 21-- it's BL who insisted that I could and that I was an idiot sitting on my hands if I didn't. But I would like very much not to have my ex, a court, nor a NYS government office meddling in my pay or my relationship with my kid.

What proof would I need that he was independent? You say I "haven't given enough proof," so I'm curious what they court would want. Copy of his lease? His pay stub? I don't know if he'd give them to me since his mother would be PISSED if he cooperating in terminating his CS.

It is unlikely that the court would assign the support to the child, for a number of reasons.

Yes, his lease and his paystubs would be a definite indication of emancipation.

 

[penelope10]

Penelope, maybe you missed my post, but those ARE grounds to modify and potentially stop CS. NY is one of the screwy states. CS goes to 21, but after 18 they are adults. Since they are so grown up as to not go to school, work, live on their own, marry etc etc then they can support themselves!

Agreed, however, the OP has not stated any of these facts other than the son has chosen not to go to school for the time being.(Or I just missed it which is very possible) He's working--Op has not stated that son is living on his own or that he is married. If those were the factors I would agree OP should not have to pay CS is the child truly is emancipated.

Sorry not trying to argue---I don't think anyone has clearly stated what the courts in NY view as emancipated in order to stop CS. If working alone and not going to school is enough than Op can go to the court and request CS end.

Nobody has told him this thus far....

 

[Rushia]

Agreed, however, the OP has not stated any of these facts other than the son has chosen not to go to school for the time being.(Or I just missed it which is very possible) He's working--Op has not stated that son is living on his own or that he is married. If those were the factors I would agree OP should not have to pay CS is the child truly is emancipated.

Sorry not trying to argue---I don't think anyone has clearly stated what the courts in NY view as emancipated in order to stop CS. If working alone and not going to school is enough than Op can go to the court and request CS end.

Nobody has told him this thus far....

That's what BL was trying to tell him. I mentioned it in post #'s 21, 29, and 31.

 

[fairisfair]

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/emancipate1.php
http://www.flkids.com/parents/emanci.htm
http://childsupportguidelines.com/articles/art200008.html
There now it is done.

 

[Rushia]

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/emancipate1.php
http://www.flkids.com/parents/emanci.htm

There now it is done.

Thank you fair!

 

[fairisfair]

Thank you fair!

why you are welcome dearest.

 

[penelope10]

That's what BL was trying to tell him. I mentioned it in post #'s 21, 29, and 31.

Agreed---however based on the facts as they were originally posted son has Not moved out of the house yet. If he moves out of the house than yes.

So right now he is not on his own---he's just working---so no right now CS cannot be stopped because he is not yet truly emancipated.

Thinking about moving out and actually moving out are two different things.

Sorry I'm really not trying to be a smarty-pants.

 

[Rushia]

why you are welcome dearest.

I don't feel like looking things up today! It's a holiday for me. I just know how all that works being in NY and all and watching my ex go thru this for his eldest child.

 

[Rushia]

Agreed---however based on the facts as they were originally posted son has Not moved out of the house yet. If he moves out of the house than yes.

So right now he is not on his own---he's just working---so no right now CS cannot be stopped because he is not yet truly emancipated.

Thinking about moving out and actually moving out are two different things.

Sorry I'm really not trying to be a smarty-pants.

AHHH now that's why I stated if he moved out, however OP has indicated that there could possibly be a lease.....

I like to talk to other smarty pants people!

 

[fairisfair]

I don't feel like looking things up today! It's a holiday for me. I just know how all that works being in NY and all and watching my ex go thru this for his eldest child.

And I feel like looking up all kinds of stuff.

Even people' s homework.

BAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

I really just do it to cause trouble, not to be helpful.

ROTFLMAAAAAOOOOO!!!!

Have a glorious holiday!!!

 

[ancalagonblack]

Multiple thank you's to everyone who helped me find this info. I feel much better informed. I doubt I will be able to get him to give me a copy of his lease and/or paystubs, so I will probably be stuck paying his mother until he is 21. We both live in fear of her .

 

[fairisfair]

Multiple thank you's to everyone who helped me find this info. I feel much better informed. I doubt I will be able to get him to give me a copy of his lease and/or paystubs, so I will probably be stuck paying his mother until he is 21. We both live in fear of her .

Aw, well you're welcome too, from all of us.