Paying for wifes refinance

[Mcho]

What is the name of your state? New York

So I am currently in the middle of a divorce and going through mediation to settle. The topic of my wife buying my share of the equity came up and she is willing to do so and I would get half the equity. However, in order to get myself off of the mortgage she has to refinance on her own. She has stated that she may not qualify on her own and thus may have her parents back her to refinance.

My question is, in order for her to refinance the home and take me off, the mediator has stated that I would get my share of the equity (50%) less her refinancing fees... I am not sure if that is my obligation to have to pay for her refinancing. Do I? Eventually I am going to take my share of the equity to look for purchasing my own place, which I will have to finance and pay for financing as well. It seems like I will be paying twice for financing (hers and mine). Shouldnt she be liable for refinancing the home under her own name? I would loose out around $10k on her refinancing the home.

 

[FlyingRon]

Eh? Where does 10K come from. Loan fees are only a few hundred dollars. You could suggest to the mediator to split those.
Points are prepaid interest not a "refinancing cost."

 

[adjusterjack]

I am not sure if that is my obligation to have to pay for her refinancing. Do I?

Of course not. But whether you do pay or don't pay depends on how badly you want to get out from under shared ownership and a bad marriage.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Of course not. But whether you do pay or don't pay depends on how badly you want to get out from under shared ownership and a bad marriage.

And if it becomes a sticking point, it could cost more (legal costs) to get resolved.

 

[bcr229]

Eh? Where does 10K come from. Loan fees are only a few hundred dollars. You could suggest to the mediator to split those.
Points are prepaid interest not a "refinancing cost."

Perhaps so there are no misunderstandings the specific fees covered (appraisal, loan application fee, etc.) and those excluded (points) should be listed in the mediation agreement.

 

[adjusterjack]

With a clearly defined deadline date for the completion of the transaction with a stipulation that the property be sold if the deadline date is not met.

 

[LdiJ]

Eh? Where does 10K come from. Loan fees are only a few hundred dollars. You could suggest to the mediator to split those.
Points are prepaid interest not a "refinancing cost."

It has been a long time since I refinanced my home but my refinancing fees were a lot more than a few hundred dollars...and did not include any points.

 

[Mcho]

Eh? Where does 10K come from. Loan fees are only a few hundred dollars. You could suggest to the mediator to split those.
Points are prepaid interest not a "refinancing cost."

We didn't go over specifics, but we were going over numbers and assets and I was asked the question why I left out what my mortgage or home ownership would cost me per month in monthly analysis sheet we did and I responded that I wasn't sure since I needed a rough idea of how much I would receive for my share of the equity. That's when the mediator had mention what our equity on the house was, took $20k off for fees and whatnot, then divided the remainder and said that was what I had to work with. The $20k would be split and that is where I am coming up with the $10k. I'm confused as to why the refinancing that my wife has to do is my obligation. I was thinking that I would just get my share of the equity and then deal with refinancing on my own stuff, not hers too.

 

[LdiJ]

We didn't go over specifics, but we were going over numbers and assets and I was asked the question why I left out what my mortgage or home ownership would cost me per month in monthly analysis sheet we did and I responded that I wasn't sure since I needed a rough idea of how much I would receive for my share of the equity. That's when the mediator had mention what our equity on the house was, took $20k off for fees and whatnot, then divided the remainder and said that was what I had to work with. The $20k would be split and that is where I am coming up with the $10k. I'm confused as to why the refinancing that my wife has to do is my obligation. I was thinking that I would just get my share of the equity and then deal with refinancing on my own stuff, not hers too.

I cannot imagine the costs to refi any mortgage being anywhere near 20k. I think that the mediator might be ballparking it that high because that might be the cost if you were selling it and had to pay a realtor's commission. You are certainly going to get more for your share of the equity than you would if you were selling the house to each get your equity back, so it might be fair for you to share some of the burden of the refi costs.

 

[quincy]

... That's when the mediator had mention what our equity on the house was, took $20k off for fees and whatnot, then divided the remainder and said that was what I had to work with. The $20k would be split and that is where I am coming up with the $10k. I'm confused as to why the refinancing that my wife has to do is my obligation. I was thinking that I would just get my share of the equity and then deal with refinancing on my own stuff, not hers too.

Does the "whatnot" include a lien on the property (something like a water/sewer lien) that must be paid off before the property can be refinanced?

 

[Mcho]

Does the "whatnot" include a lien on the property (something like a water/sewer lien) that must be paid off before the property can be refinanced?

I don't believe we have any liens on the house.

I cannot imagine the costs to refi any mortgage being anywhere near 20k. I think that the mediator might be ballparking it that high because that might be the cost if you were selling it and had to pay a realtor's commission. You are certainly going to get more for your share of the equity than you would if you were selling the house to each get your equity back, so it might be fair for you to share some of the burden of the refi costs.

I guess the cost of my share of $10k going to refi was just an alarming number that I wouldn't want to pay for it if it was that high. Refi for a couple of hundred dollars or even $1-$2k I would be willing to cough up to get everything done, but when she mentioned $10k I was very confused as to why so much....and like I stated, that was just half of what she estimated. BTW, wife is not selling and keeping the house.