Please Help ASAP w/ A Travel Question...

[kymmie65]

What is the name of your state? MT But SD still has jurisdiction.

Ok, now that you guys have informed me that our parenting plan is all contained within our divorce papers, there is an issue of who's driving where to meet whom. How does that work EXACTLY? Ex is being a butt and I would like to know where I stand before I have to engage in ANOTHER discussion with him.

If you HAVE to have more information, I will give it. It's just so blasted l o n g. Basically he is trying to hold our son hostage and make me come the entire 24 hours to get him. But his visitation is up at the end of summer. If he doesnt get him home will it be Contempt of Court?

 

[nextwife]

So, are you half responsible for the travel costs? We have no idea. WHAT are your stated responsibilities regarding visitation travel? Who covered the travel costs at the start of the visit?

Did you create the distance?

 

[kymmie65]

So, are you half responsible for the travel costs? We have no idea. WHAT are your stated responsibilities regarding visitation travel?

Did you create the distance?

There are no stated travel responsibilities. When we filed for divorce he knew I was moving to MT. He said he was moving to Spokane which is really close, but instead he moved 600 miles further away. I met him halfway to drop off our son, but he lied on the meet back time (and this is where the LONG story comes in). To make it short, he agreed for my daughter from a previous marriage (which he raised since she was 4 and is now 13) to come along to help our son adjust to being away for such a long time. However he decided she was a spy and shipped her off to my parents house and pretty much stranded her there. My parents wouldnt meet me halfway so I had to take a train the entire way to pick her up and I told him if I did this I would not be able to afford to pick up our son. He in so many words said whatever. Now he wants me to come there to get him.....Geesh!!

 

[CJane]

Your orders don't state anything so simple as "Father is to pick child up at beginning of visitation, mother is to pick up at end of visitation"? Nothing about 'Travel expenses'?

Honestly? Crappy plan. If Ex pushes it and your order honestly says NOTHING... you're going to have to go get the kid. But I would certainly consider filing for a modification to plug the holes in the plan before next summer.

 

[kymmie65]

Your orders don't state anything so simple as "Father is to pick child up at beginning of visitation, mother is to pick up at end of visitation"? Nothing about 'Travel expenses'?

No, Nothing at ALL!

If Ex pushes it and your order honestly says NOTHING... you're going to have to go get the kid.

Why? Why wouldnt he be responsible for getting him home on time? So he has No responsiblities in this matter? Geesh!!! Not only is he doing this, but now he is a month and a half behind on child support amongst other insanities. What IS HE responsible for??

Im not yelling at you of course, just frustrated with all of this.

 

[nextwife]

No, Nothing at ALL!



Why? Why wouldnt he be responsible for getting him home on time? So he has No responsiblities in this matter? Geesh!!! Not only is he doing this, but now he is a month and a half behind on child support amongst other insanities. What IS HE responsible for??

Im not yelling at you of course, just frustrated with all of this.

HE responsible for everything the court order says he is.

 

[kymmie65]

HE responsible for everything the court order says he is

Ok then, would'nt he be in contempt of court if he does not return him by the end of summer. Since of course the order says 3 months in the summer??

 

[tigger22472]

Look up your state guidelines. Many address this. Often times it is the receiving parent that picks the child up but every state is different.

 

[NoDiggety]

Why? Why wouldnt he be responsible for getting him home on time? So he has No responsiblities in this matter? Geesh!!! Not only is he doing this, but now he is a month and a half behind on child support amongst other insanities. What IS HE responsible for??

I have to agree...crappy plan. Plus, as Tigger suggested, check your state statutes and/or court rules to see the transportation responsibilities. *Usually*, the parent receiving the child for their time picks up the child. So if you think about it, YOU are under no obligation to meet him halfway then. You could be a biotch and make him come get the child...but then you need to make the distance and drive.

Honestly, you need to modify the order to address transportation. Since you have both moved, you both could share transportation.

 

[kymmie65]

Ok, Thanks y'all I really appreciate it. I will go and try to find the state laws on a website or something. I have recently filed for jurisdiction to be moved to Montana, then I will address some other issues with the "plan". One step at a time I suppose.

I just figured he would be under obligation to get him home at the end of summer whether he brings him home, I met him halfway or go all the way to get him. I didnt think you could go past your visitation time and it be acceptable under any circumstances.

 

[nextwife]

Ok, Thanks y'all I really appreciate it. I will go and try to find the state laws on a website or something. I have recently filed for jurisdiction to be moved to Montana, then I will address some other issues with the "plan". One step at a time I suppose.

I just figured he would be under obligation to get him home at the end of summer whether he brings him home, I met him halfway or go all the way to get him. I didnt think you could go past your visitation time and it be acceptable under any circumstances.

If there is no clear direction about whether you or he is responsible for transport at the end of visitaion, then either of you could potentially return the child. If he WITHOLDS the child, THEN he'd be in contempt (yoiu went there and he would not let him leave with you, for example). Many, many visitation orders have one parent responsible for pick up and the other for return.

 

[tigger22472]

If there is no clear direction about whether you or he is responsible for transport at the end of visitaion, then either of you could potentially return the child. If he WITHOLDS the child, THEN he'd be in contempt (yoiu went there and he would not let him leave with you, for example). Many, many visitation orders have one parent responsible for pick up and the other for return.

To clarify, with out clear cut orders, it may not be considered contempt if he tells you that the child is available for YOU to pick him up and you fail to do so. In that case he's not withholding the child necesarily, and it ends up for a judge to decide. But, you definately couldn't go in saying "He wouldn't allow my child to come home!"

 

[haiku]

I think that is precisely why most orders, where there is no specification, expect the picking up parent to "go all the way".

you want him? YOU come get him.

 

[tigger22472]

I think that is precisely why most orders, where there is no specification, expect the picking up parent to "go all the way".

you want him? YOU come get him.

Personally, in most cases I think thats the best thing to do. It ensures the NCP is going to utilize visitation and can show the CP has attempted to retreive the child.

 

[CJane]

If the existing order only says "IN THE SUMMER" as OP stated... and not "DURING THE SUMMER VACATION FROM SCHOOL"... then techinically, when does the NCP's visitation end? When summer vacation is over, according to the school calendar, or when summer ends w/ the Autumnal Equinox?