Please help re: vacation time

[doc2b]

I know folks on the western side of the state.

I have gotten my money's worth by being IN the FOC system. When my X was in arrears at 12 weeks, I could just send a letter to enforcement to have them do a "show cause" at NO cost.

The same goes with clarifying parts of my court order. I can fax my problem over to FOC, she'll call me, and then sent the appropriate letter out to my X.

As for the money, the money gets to the state on Monday, and it is in my checking account directly deposited on Wednesday. When support is sent, it arrives promptly.

Granted we still had problem even after they told him he was completely wet, but after the judge slap last summer, it's been quieter.

I couldn't even begin to guess why he thought it would be a good idea to waive FOC involvement...the waiver they had him sign basically said he waives all his rights to have the CO enforced by FOC, etc. and it stated that he was acknowledging that there was no history of abuse in the marriage (I guess if there is, they make you use FOC?). She has a police record of domestic violence issues-never been charged, but removed from house, cuffed, in jail overnight type stuff. Had a PPO against her for a year because she couldn't keep her hands off him-she tried to get around it by going after him with a car (it didn't specify she couldn't drive towards him at high speeds, I guess...).

I did find a form for him to use FOC, but it is called a "reinstatement form". He's not technically reinstating FOC, but starting to use them for the first time, so who knows if that will work or not....

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The cost isn't that much to use FOC. I have to pay $25.00/ year once I receive $500 in support (new this year). My X does pay a processing fee, but it's not that much. But I have gotten more than my money's worth from them. I have a VERY thick file associated with my X and me.

We are considered high conflict, but it's really one directional. I just want to live in peace. I want to enjoy the time I have with my child; I want my child to enjoy the time with the dad. Probably the best thing I ever did was put 1400 miles between us, so we have minimal transfers. Each transfer seemed filled with drama. Now, I don't recommend it for others, but I have found a benefit to it all. Dad calls DD when she gets home from school. She lets me know that dad called; I'm not interested in the conversation. I only pay attention so that if he hasn't called lately, I have HER call dad.

 

[profmum]

Yes. Their CO states that vacation time has precedence over their regularly scheduled parenting time, too.


Bingo.. I was hoping the CO would have this verbage, Dad can remind Mum of this clause and pick up kiddos at a reasonable time on Thu AM.

 

[doc2b]

Yes. Their CO states that vacation time has precedence over their regularly scheduled parenting time, too.


Bingo.. I was hoping the CO would have this verbage, Dad can remind Mum of this clause and pick up kiddos at a reasonable time on Thu AM.

I was hoping that would help out...it's just sticky because if she takes Wed. as a vacation day, when does it technically end?

Their PP technically gives her 7am until 6pm on W, Th and F. She doesn't pick the kids up until 9am in the summer in order to sleep in and let them sleep in a little. So, normal parenting time schedule kind of set 7am as the normal "start" to a day. On special holidays (Mother's day, Father's day, etc.), the day starts at 10am. On Sundays, when she has early pickup, it's at 9am.

 

[profmum]

I was hoping that would help out...it's just sticky because if she takes Wed. as a vacation day, when does it technically end?

Their PP technically gives her 7am until 6pm on W, Th and F. She doesn't pick the kids up until 9am in the summer in order to sleep in and let them sleep in a little. So, normal parenting time schedule kind of set 7am as the normal "start" to a day. On special holidays (Mother's day, Father's day, etc.), the day starts at 10am. On Sundays, when she has early pickup, it's at 9am.

Anytime between 7-10 am.. point is this, Dad needs to pick a reasonable time, since she has not specificied a drop off time on Thu AM, Dad can designate his pick up time provided he is reasonable (goes to show no CO is iron clad, after all we are raising children not furniture!). The more "options" dad gives to Mum, the more she will make it harder to make your long road trip (I know I have the same ex!). Simply let dad communicate politely when he will pick up the kids and leave it at that. Mum can send any interpretation of the CO, any clause not included in the CO and anything and everything in between. Remember Mum plays these games to get a rise out of Dad.. best form of "payback".. dont play the games with Mum.. as Zephyr once said.. "Never feed the psychosis!".

 

[doc2b]

Anytime between 7-10 am.. point is this, Dad needs to pick a reasonable time, since she has not specificied a drop off time on Thu AM, Dad can designate his pick up time provided he is reasonable (goes to show no CO is iron clad, after all we are raising children not furniture!). The more "options" dad gives to Mum, the more she will make it harder to make your long road trip (I know I have the same ex!). Simply let dad communicate politely when he will pick up the kids and leave it at that. Mum can send any interpretation of the CO, any clause not included in the CO and anything and everything in between. Remember Mum plays these games to get a rise out of Dad.. best form of "payback".. dont play the games with Mum.. as Zephyr once said.. "Never feed the psychosis!".

Well, he emailed her last night about picking up the kids at 9am on Thursday morning (then didn't sleep because he's a worrier)...now I'll sit back and enjoy the show.

 

[profmum]

Well, he emailed her last night about picking up the kids at 9am on Thursday morning (then didn't sleep because he's a worrier)...now I'll sit back and enjoy the show.

Good.. over time Dad will learn to brush these things off and focus on the kids he and Mum are raising.. tell Dad he needs his sleep for the long road trip with the "Are we there yet" slogan!!

 

[doc2b]

Okay, here's an update...

She responded to his email, saying that she has "spoken with 4 lawyers" that have told her he is interpreting the JoD incorrectly. (And ultimately, stealing her parenting time) BUT, she will be "willing to go back to court and let them change the CO to state that they can both have equal summer vacation time".

First off, why go to 4 lawyers to seek advice on this matter, when she obviously got the answer she wanted from attorney #1? And why take the time and spend the money to do so if she's so "willing" to change the CO to allow both parents equal vacation time?

She's a piece of...work.
(not to mention full of it)