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Postnuptial agreement

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Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
My wife has already understood and agreed to the terms of the agreement. And we’ll get it notarized and probably 2 witnesses if that’s required. Would the main reason for having (separate) attorneys to ensure it’s enforceable? The thing is if we had an attorney, particularly separate attorneys, I’m sure the/her attorney will try to skew the agreement to be more in her favor. So I guess it’s risk it not being enforceable or risk losing a substantial portion of my net worth to a huge undeserved payout.
In other words, if your wife was properly represented, the agreement might actually end up being fair to her, and you can't stand that.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Not planning divorce, she brings it up way more than me so I’m thinking she may try something and I need to prepare for it. If anyone is being bamboozled it’s likely me based on her history and as she’s getting way more out of this marriage than I am. Didn’t mention the green card and affidavit of support but there’s that too. I know that her former version would take the opportunity to rob me of all of the assets she can if she could, so just in case that devil child is still somewhere in there, I need to take precaution. Didn’t expect the trolling and off-topic banter to be prevalent here, somewhat undermines credibility of the authors’ opinions, but thanks to those who provided serious comments without straying. Needless to say I’ve taken the suggestion of seeking legal representation into serious consideration. If there are no additional (serious) suggestions besides that then thanks, I’ll move onto the next phase.
By the way, the marriage based green card is conditional for the first 2 years. You really should be discussing your situation with a lawyer.

A caveat: lawyer's will give you legal answers. This does not account for the human element. A difficult person can make what would otherwise be a simple divorce into some long drawn out expensive debacle.

I think you need some therapy. I don't know if the problem is you or your wife, but you sound like you're stressed and unhappy. Believe me, it took me too long to realize that it's better to be alone than be married to the wrong person.
 

c.m

Member
Regarding the pending affidavit of support in relation to the postnup, I assume that won’t matter when support has ended? e.g. if i864/AOS is withdrawn or she becomes a US citizen.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Regarding the pending affidavit of support in relation to the postnup, I assume that won’t matter when support has ended? e.g. if i864/AOS is withdrawn or she becomes a US citizen.
This is a good question for your attorney. Your wife should ask HER ATTORNEY the same thing! ;)
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Regarding the pending affidavit of support in relation to the postnup, I assume that won’t matter when support has ended? e.g. if i864/AOS is withdrawn or she becomes a US citizen.
:ROFLMAO: :LOL::ROFLMAO:
Because if she wants to be difficult, she can stretch things out...

Withdrawing the i864/AOS is not an option after the conditional status is removed from the green card. (Depending on the circumstances, it can be %$% hard to remove from a conditional green card. You went in this eyes wide open, so yeah, that applies to you.)

Divorce does not remove the responsibility.

And here's 4 letters that should strike some fear in your heart: VAWA.

Now, aside from all that... If she tires of being in the US and voluntarily leaves, abandoning her US residency, then that eliminates the whole AOS issue. But if she stays in the US, she doesn't have to become a citizen...
 

c.m

Member
Well the green card and affidavit are still pending and based on processing times likely won’t be approved until at least 2020 so still plenty of time to withdraw the i864 (AOS application) which I understand is possible when it’s pending. And it seems she prefers a fast track to US citizenship so I doubt her ideal plan is to divorce me immediately after getting her green card and benefit from my AOS indefinitely. Still, several years is a long time. I guess I’ll cross that bridge if/when I come to it, or maybe cut the ropes sooner... :unsure: We’ll see.
 

c.m

Member
So much for the recommendations to get attorneys. I recommended legal representation to her multiple times, particularly if she wanted to make changes to wording in the default template like she suggested, but she insisted she doesn’t want any lawyers for the postnup, and now doesn’t want to sign it at all. So I guess in divorce we’d be going the traditional route which would probably only be a minor blip to my assets anyway.

I think she may have large debts but fortunately if she does it’s all on her own accounts (not joint), weren’t for marital purposes and she didn’t notify me (she outright answered me, multiple times, she has zero debt) so the chance of me being responsible for these is nil.

Now I gotta juggle whether and when to send the I-864 withdrawal letter out. I’ll wait but it seems she’s pretty close to giving up on the marriage this time. If I receive divorce papers from my wife, I‘m wondering if at that time I still have time to send the I-864 withdrawal letter and get it withdrawn before the divorce finalizes, such that I wouldn’t have to support her via the affidavit indefinitely upon divorce, or if there’s a chance that wouldn’t work and I should send the letter earlier if divorce seems impending.
 

c.m

Member
What is the name of your state? NY

My wife snuck a flight out of NY back to her home country without advance parole, so she’s abandoned her green card application. I sent an I-864 withdrawal letter to cover all bases per advice. Someone suggested I investigate whether the possibility that she stays out of the country for a long time means my marital assets have the option of greater protection than through a no fault divorce. Obviously when I proceed with divorce I’ll be getting an attorney but just thought I’d get a head start on my research. Thanks.
 

c.m

Member
But it has lots of facts about the situation. The senior members here will understand exactly what you are doing.
Which separate facts from that thread would make a difference here? More importantly I’d probably get less relevant replies as newcomers or those who haven’t read to the end will assume it’s still about a postnuptial agreement. Not sure why this is even a point of contention. Only this forum...

You didn't even ask a question...
Let me rephrase what I thought was clearly the enquiry into a question: If she stays out of the country for a long time would my marital assets have the option of greater protection than through a no fault divorce?
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Which separate facts from that thread would make a difference here? More importantly I’d probably get less relevant replies as newcomers or those who haven’t read to the end will assume it’s still about a postnuptial agreement. Not sure why this is even a point of contention. Only this forum...


Let me rephrase what I thought was clearly the enquiry into a question: If she stays out of the country for a long time would my marital assets have the option of greater protection than through a no fault divorce?
Not the way you think.

Going through a "fault" divorce in NY can be expensive. I assume you are thinking abandonment/constructive abandonment. Because of the time that has to elapse before you can file for that cause, who knows what mischief she can get into?

I think you would be better off filing for a no fault divorce. Or, at the very least, if you choose to go the fault route, have your lawyer offer to change it to no fault in exchange for her not contesting it.
 
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c.m

Member
Not the way you think.

Going through a "fault" divorce in NY can be expensive. I assume you are thinking abandonment/constructive abandonment. Because of the time that has to elapse before you can file for that cause, who knows what mischief she can get into?

I think you would be better off filing for a no fault divorce. Or, at the very least, if you choose to go the fault route, have your lawyer offer to change it to no fault in exchange for her not contesting it.
Yeah abandonment was what I was thinking. Thanks for the input, appreciated.
 

c.m

Member
I'm starting the divorce process now and due to her leaving the US this way and living abroad now I will at least try a consultation with an attorney to see if this divorce can be done more painlessly than usual. I was originally thinking of going no-fault but it seems even that process will be complicated by her overseas residential status. Thankfully in any case I acquired most of my assets before marriage. But knowing her I don't know if she'll try to get something anyway. Found some general info on overseas process, e.g. at (link removed). I'll consult with the relevant sources and attorneys but meanwhile if anyone here knows anything specific to divorcing an Indian citizen, any info could help.
 
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c.m

Member
I am now using a law firm for my divorce. Firm emailed Summons and Complaint and Affidavit of Defendant to wife and I instructed her and her parents that they would have to get it notarized at their local consulate, but she did not want to do this, saying she wanted to go for a divorce by publication, which shouldn't be used since I know where she lives (and it would take way longer and be more costly). So now I have hired a process server company who have process sever contacts in India, but one of the forms they require is a certified copy of the Summons and Complaint. They report that an attorney certification would not be accepted (would result in an affidavit of non-service) and they require it to be certified at the clerk instead. But it appears that's not doable now as the NYC court/clerk is closed due to COVID. Am keeping an eye on things and am hoping a reopening will occur soon. Anyway the ideal plan at this stage is since my wife has been aversive to signing anything lately, when she is served by the process server she will not respond and then I can divorce her by default (I may remind her and her parents of this method after I can verify she has been served).
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I am now using a law firm for my divorce. Firm emailed Summons and Complaint and Affidavit of Defendant to wife and I instructed her and her parents that they would have to get it notarized at their local consulate, but she did not want to do this, saying she wanted to go for a divorce by publication, which shouldn't be used since I know where she lives (and it would take way longer and be more costly). So now I have hired a process server company who have process sever contacts in India, but one of the forms they require is a certified copy of the Summons and Complaint. They report that an attorney certification would not be accepted (would result in an affidavit of non-service) and they require it to be certified at the clerk instead. But it appears that's not doable now as the NYC court/clerk is closed due to COVID. Am keeping an eye on things and am hoping a reopening will occur soon. Anyway the ideal plan at this stage is since my wife has been aversive to signing anything lately, when she is served by the process server she will not respond and then I can divorce her by default (I may remind her and her parents of this method after I can verify she has been served).
You should not, under any circumstances, offer legal advice, suggestions, or anything of the sort, to your wife or her family.
 

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