Prenuptial Agreement & Separation Agreement (Wife wants to return after affair??? Help)

[Pcring1]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Gender Male
Age 32

My separated wife left me to have an affair. She had an affair and openly admits it was a mistake now she wants to return home; she has not only admitted this to me but my family & hers.

Prior to our marriage we signed a prenuptial agreement (5 years ago) (Drafted by me & her using rocketlawyer) It was based on Seperate property "whats mine is mine & whats your is yours." Yes we signed it and had it notarized "I even had an attorney review it just to make sure it was consistent."

5 years later we signed a seperation agreement (Drafted by me & her - mainly me but she forced me to type one up so I didn't hesitate to use law depot and also add in some of my own words to my liking so that the separation agreement fully recognized separate property as the current and future agreement. This to has been signed and notarized now for roughly 5 months.

She left after we filed a separation which was fully in agreement with the prenuptial agreement of "Separate Property." She walked away with nothing but child support "We have two children."

I feel the current state of my assets are highly prospected. Asset value is ~ 350K and I currently believe she couldn't touch them at all considering the facts of "prenup, sep, affair, & claim to assets has already been completed based on sep."

I know hindsight is 20/20 had she really wanted to fight the prenuptial agreement & get something out of it she definitely could have. But now the tide has turned and she has had an affair and begging to get back in the home.

Is there anything legal that I could do that would be ironclad to fully protect all my assets if I do decide to let her back in. I know a post-nuptial agreement is typically not ironclad so I need something to be legally bound and so sound she is screwed if this ever happens again and I don't have to worry financially about anything.

Thanks

 

[not2cleverRed]

Nothing is ironclad. If one party decides to disagree at a later date, and the agreement is way out of line with your state's legal standards, then you've got a legal fight - and even if your adversary loses, your still out the time and $ retaining a lawyer.

But here's my question: why did you let her take the children?

Seriously, she wants to leave you - fine. She wants to leave you to play house with another guy AND take your kids - seriously uncool.

 

[HighwayMan]

Prior to our marriage we signed a prenuptial agreement (5 years ago)...

So what makes you think that it would not be effective all of a sudden?

 

[LdiJ]

Nothing is ironclad. If one party decides to disagree at a later date, and the agreement is way out of line with your state's legal standards, then you've got a legal fight - and even if your adversary loses, your still out the time and $ retaining a lawyer.

But here's my question: why did you let her take the children?

Seriously, she wants to leave you - fine. She wants to leave you to play house with another guy AND take your kids - seriously uncool.

That depends on who is the primary caretaker of the children.

 

[Just Blue]

That depends on who is the primary caretaker of the children.

What do you mean it "depends"? In what reality is it okay to take your children away from their home and other parent to live with your lover?

 

[Pcring1]

She is a great mother that I will say. We agreed that I could get the kids 2 nights per week on my option due to my job which is 365 24/7 literally with minimal days off and none of them being guaranteed. She never took the kids around the other man she had an affair with it was very brief and more sexual than anything; the entire time of the separation she lived with her parents.

@HighwayMan that's very true I just want to make sure that I have taken all necessary steps prior to allowing her back in & breaking the separation to protect myself if in the event this ever happened again. Yes I am certain we could fall back on it but I just want to make sure I have taken all necessary steps before breaking the separation agreement.

 

[Pcring1]

So what makes you think that it would not be effective all of a sudden?

@HighwayMan that's very true I just want to make sure that I have taken all necessary steps prior to allowing her back in & breaking the separation to protect myself if in the event this ever happened again. Yes I am certain we could fall back on it but I just want to make sure I have taken all necessary steps before breaking the separation agreement.

 

[LdiJ]

She is a great mother that I will say. We agreed that I could get the kids 2 nights per week on my option due to my job which is 365 24/7 literally with minimal days off and none of them being guaranteed. She never took the kids around the other man she had an affair with it was very brief and more sexual than anything; the entire time of the separation she lived with her parents.

@HighwayMan that's very true I just want to make sure that I have taken all necessary steps prior to allowing her back in & breaking the separation to protect myself if in the event this ever happened again. Yes I am certain we could fall back on it but I just want to make sure I have taken all necessary steps before breaking the separation agreement.

Unless you both have lawyers to review and advise you separately regarding any agreement, you will not be able to make it ironclad.

 

[Just Blue]

She is a great mother that I will say. We agreed that I could get the kids 2 nights per week on my option due to my job which is 365 24/7 literally with minimal days off and none of them being guaranteed. She never took the kids around the other man she had an affair with it was very brief and more sexual than anything; the entire time of the separation she lived with her parents.

@HighwayMan that's very true I just want to make sure that I have taken all necessary steps prior to allowing her back in & breaking the separation to protect myself if in the event this ever happened again. Yes I am certain we could fall back on it but I just want to make sure I have taken all necessary steps before breaking the separation agreement.

IMO upsetting the children's lives for a bootie call is not being a good parent. I would advise couples therapy before getting back together.

 

[not2cleverRed]

That depends on who is the primary caretaker of the children.

No. It doesn't. What matters is what is the best interest of the child.

Moving your children out of the marital home, upending their lives, so that you can "find yourself" is not in the best interest of the children.

I personally know primary caretakers who have lost custody in divorce.

However, from Dad's further posts, it is evident that he is focused more on keeping what is "his" and protecting himself financially. He sounds very petty.

Once there are children in the mix, it is near impossible to make anything "ironclad", as kids should be able to depend on help and support for both parents. In a divorce, this may even include college expenses, for example. While one can argue that providing for one's children is not Mom getting Dad's "stuff", the assets may nevertheless be transferred elsewhere. Among other things.

 

[LdiJ]

No. It doesn't. What matters is what is the best interest of the child.

Moving your children out of the marital home, upending their lives, so that you can "find yourself" is not in the best interest of the children.

I personally know primary caretakers who have lost custody in divorce.

However, from Dad's further posts, it is evident that he is focused more on keeping what is "his" and protecting himself financially. He sounds very petty.

Once there are children in the mix, it is near impossible to make anything "ironclad", as kids should be able to depend on help and support for both parents. In a divorce, this may even include college expenses, for example. While one can argue that providing for one's children is not Mom getting Dad's "stuff", the assets may nevertheless be transferred elsewhere. Among other things.

It may or may not be in the best interests of the children, depending on the rest of the backstory. It certainly sounds like this particular dad is not even interested in having primary custody...and it appears that his work schedule would not even allow for it.

 

[TigerD]

To address the OP's question: You need to talk to a lawyer in NC. Your agreements may or may not be valid. Reviewing contracts is way beyond the scope of this forum. You seriously need to consider if this is something you want to do. If so, you and your family will likely need counseling. A betrayal of that nature doesn't go away just because the person said they made a mistake.

TD

 

[not2cleverRed]

It may or may not be in the best interests of the children, depending on the rest of the backstory. It certainly sounds like this particular dad is not even interested in having primary custody...and it appears that his work schedule would not even allow for it.

And I have known some who, faced with the same situation, rearrange their lives to take into account their children.

But you are correct: this particular dad is not interested in primary custody. He is overly concerned about himself and what he sees as "his" property/assets.

It would be interesting to see if what he views as "separate property" is the same as what is legally considered "separate property".