Preschool Selection

[justseparated]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

There's currently no child custody order in place (my STBX has filed for one, we went through a mediation but could not agree on physical custody, although agreed on joined legal). A court date is scheduled.

Our daughter has been in a private preschool until now, and got in one of the public preschools. They have received over 400 applications, and she was very fortunate to get accepted. It is also considerably less expensive (about 10 times less) than the current private preschool. I have been paying for the current school, but it has been very difficult for me financially as her father has been appealing the child support order and I just started receiving CS two weeks ago. Now he is not agreeing to send our daughter to the new school since she will be there during regular school hours Mon-Fri and he would like to have her in the mornings during the week as he works evenings (he currently only has her on Saturday nights). Meanwhile, school starts on September 5th (we will not have a custody hearing before then), and I also need to give the current school a notice to withdraw.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but what are my options at this time? Seems like I'm stuck here.

 

[nextwife]

If it's only preschool, not even kindergarten, why can't child attend the new school, other than the mornings they'd spend with Dad?

 

[justseparated]

If it's only preschool, not even kindergarten, why can't child attend the new school, other than the mornings they'd spend with Dad?

After speaking with the program director at school, it is not advisable she misses more than 10 days during the school year. It is part of Kindergarten preparation (the preschool is at the local elementary school). I suggested we speak with the teacher (we haven't met them yet) to see if our daughter can miss 1 day a week and get homework assignments for that day so she doesn't fall behind academically, but he didn't agree to just one day a week.

At this point, without his consent, I cannot take her to the new school, correct? They have a huge waiting list, and I'm afraid she will miss this opportunity if she doesn't start at the beginning of the school year.

 

[Ohiogal]

After speaking with the program director at school, it is not advisable she misses more than 10 days during the school year. It is part of Kindergarten preparation (the preschool is at the local elementary school). I suggested we speak with the teacher (we haven't met them yet) to see if our daughter can miss 1 day a week and get homework assignments for that day so she doesn't fall behind academically, but he didn't agree to just one day a week.

At this point, without his consent, I cannot take her to the new school, correct? They have a huge waiting list, and I'm afraid she will miss this opportunity if she doesn't start at the beginning of the school year.

With joint legal custody you cannot unilaterally change her school -- especially not away from the one she had before you and dad decided to divorce. If you changed the school without dad's agreement OR permission of the court, you could find yourself held in contempt. It could also affect you at a final custody determination.

 

[justseparated]

With joint legal custody you cannot unilaterally change her school -- especially not away from the one she had before you and dad decided to divorce. If you changed the school without dad's agreement OR permission of the court, you could find yourself held in contempt. It could also affect you at a final custody determination.

Thank you for your answer. How do I get permission of the court? The current school she has been enrolled in after our separation. He has never attempted to be a part of a schools selection process, sort of leaving it up to me since I needed employment related child care.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Actually, at this time:

There's currently no child custody order in place

Mom is the only one with custody at this time; she needs reliable daycare for employment purposes.

 

[justseparated]

Actually, at this time:


Mom is the only one with custody at this time; she needs reliable daycare for employment purposes.

Is that true? The other thing I didn't mention is that the current school will be closing 30 minutes earlier starting in September, which means I won't be able to make it there after work and will have to hire someone else to pick her up ( I have no family in the area to help me with pick ups). The new school is within walking distance from my wok, and I will be able to pick our daughter up form there myself.

 

[Ohiogal]

Actually, at this time:


Mom is the only one with custody at this time; she needs reliable daycare for employment purposes.

The parties are married from my reading of this and therefore she is not the only one with custody. Both parents have equal custody.Hence I stick with my answer. And daycare is NOT preschool. Also dad has time in the morning before he works to care for his child. So this is NOT about daycare. It is about preschool and mom wanting to unilaterally change it when both parties have joint legal custody.

 

[Ohiogal]

Is that true? The other thing I didn't mention is that the current school will be closing 30 minutes earlier starting in September, which means I won't be able to make it there after work and will have to hire someone else to pick her up ( I have no family in the area to help me with pick ups). The new school is within walking distance from my wok, and I will be able to pick our daughter up form there myself.

You state he is your STBX. Therefore, the two of you are married, correct?

 

[justseparated]

The parties are married from my reading of this and therefore she is not the only one with custody. Both parents have equal custody.Hence I stick with my answer. And daycare is NOT preschool. Also dad has time in the morning before he works to care for his child. So this is NOT about daycare. It is about preschool and mom wanting to unilaterally change it when both parties have joint legal custody.

That is correct, we're separated and the divorce is not final yet. Even though dad is off in the mornings, he has never taken care of our child during that time. He says he wants to have her in the morning, but since our separation 1.5 years ago he has never done so. He only has her on weekends now. That is his argument, though, is that he wants to have time with her in the mornings. I don't mind, but that would mean she would have to miss out on this preschool opportunity and I'm out of other day care options in the afternoon when he's unavailable and I'm still at work.

 

[Ohiogal]

That is correct, we're separated and the divorce is not final yet. Even though dad is off in the mornings, he has never taken care of our child during that time. He says he wants to have her in the morning, but since our separation 1.5 years ago he has never done so. He only has her on weekends now. That is his argument, though, is that he wants to have time with her in the mornings. I don't mind, but that would mean she would have to miss out on this preschool opportunity and I'm out of other day care options in the afternoon when he's unavailable and I'm still at work.

He has joint custody with you at this juncture without court orders stating otherwise. If you unilaterally change the preschool that can give you issues. She would miss out on THIS opportunity but she is currently in a preschool. You need to get a court order if dad won't agree. Ask your attorney to file for an expedited order/ex parte and attach an affidavit to the motion requesting a quick hearing or decision. It may not work but it would be the appropriate legal step to take.

 

[PQN]

Do you have temporary visitation orders?

 

[justseparated]

He has joint custody with you at this juncture without court orders stating otherwise. If you unilaterally change the preschool that can give you issues. She would miss out on THIS opportunity but she is currently in a preschool. You need to get a court order if dad won't agree. Ask your attorney to file for an expedited order/ex parte and attach an affidavit to the motion requesting a quick hearing or decision. It may not work but it would be the appropriate legal step to take.

Thank you so much, Ohiogal! This is exactly what I needed to know.

 

[justseparated]

Do you have temporary visitation orders?

No, no visitation petition has been filed. He has filed for custody, we haven't had a court hearing yet. Should I file for visitation?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Actually, at this time:


Mom is the only one with custody at this time; she needs reliable daycare for employment purposes.

My bad on this - they are married, therefore, they have equal rights. This is just a correction on my posting.