protecting personal safety and reputation

[photoshop2010]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

What is the best course of action to take if someone has verbally threatened me, said they would destroy my life, want to see me put away, and that they would go to file a police report. Today, I received a message that this woman has visited the police station and will take me to small claims court.
This woman is like a bully and I have spent the past year barely leaving my bedroom. Anything can incite rage or outbursts. If I cook and she doesn't like the smell�If I leave a towel in the bathroom�If I'm not walking quietly enough�shoes on the floor� She took my soup from the fridge poured it in a bag and left it by my bedroom door.
This particular incident today has to do with hats. I never knew they existed until she called me from my room last month and apologized for her behavior in the past. Then she told me a mutual friend damaged her hats. She wanted me to smell the hats and tell her if I thought it was paint. She called the friend to complain.
Fast forward: A few days later she accuses me of damaging her hats and tells me I put bleach on her hat. She said a hat shop told her it was bleach.
She called mutual acquaintances and told them I did this.


Now I am getting texts on my phone every other day about these hats. At first, I talked it through with her, but I've ignored her since. Today, I received a text that "there will be consequences". Then she sent the message that she visited the police and small claims courts. I don't want to provoke her. Do I just stay silent and continue to keep records of her actions? Also, what do I do now that there is a police report. Is this on my record for everyone to view? if so, then how do I fight it. I have documented her words actions over the last several months. I never touch her things. I stay far away from her. But I feel like this makes her carry on even more strongly to try to get a reaction from me.

This living situation depresses me and I have been trying to find somewhere to move for several months. I am a freelancer and I don't have a strong source of income at the moment. What can I do to protect myself?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

What is the best course of action to take if someone has verbally threatened me, said they would destroy my life, want to see me put away, and that they would go to file a police report. Today, I received a message that this woman has visited the police station and will take me to small claims court.
This woman is like a bully and I have spent the past year barely leaving my bedroom. Anything can incite rage or outbursts. If I cook and she doesn't like the smell�If I leave a towel in the bathroom�If I'm not walking quietly enough�shoes on the floor� She took my soup from the fridge poured it in a bag and left it by my bedroom door.
This particular incident today has to do with hats. I never knew they existed until she called me from my room last month and apologized for her behavior in the past. Then she told me a mutual friend damaged her hats. She wanted me to smell the hats and tell her if I thought it was paint. She called the friend to complain.
Fast forward: A few days later she accuses me of damaging her hats and tells me I put bleach on her hat. She said a hat shop told her it was bleach.
She called mutual acquaintances and told them I did this.


Now I am getting texts on my phone every other day about these hats. At first, I talked it through with her, but I've ignored her since. Today, I received a text that "there will be consequences". Then she sent the message that she visited the police and small claims courts. I don't want to provoke her. Do I just stay silent and continue to keep records of her actions? Also, what do I do now that there is a police report. Is this on my record for everyone to view? if so, then how do I fight it. I have documented her words actions over the last several months. I never touch her things. I stay far away from her. But I feel like this makes her carry on even more strongly to try to get a reaction from me.

This living situation depresses me and I have been trying to find somewhere to move for several months. I am a freelancer and I don't have a strong source of income at the moment. What can I do to protect myself?

Make a police report if she's actually threatening you.

And then it's down to damage control. The obvious next step would be to find somewhere else to live.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

What is the best course of action to take if someone has verbally threatened me, said they would destroy my life, want to see me put away, and that they would go to file a police report. Today, I received a message that this woman has visited the police station and will take me to small claims court.
This woman is like a bully and I have spent the past year barely leaving my bedroom. Anything can incite rage or outbursts. If I cook and she doesn't like the smell�If I leave a towel in the bathroom�If I'm not walking quietly enough�shoes on the floor� She took my soup from the fridge poured it in a bag and left it by my bedroom door.
This particular incident today has to do with hats. I never knew they existed until she called me from my room last month and apologized for her behavior in the past. Then she told me a mutual friend damaged her hats. She wanted me to smell the hats and tell her if I thought it was paint. She called the friend to complain.
Fast forward: A few days later she accuses me of damaging her hats and tells me I put bleach on her hat. She said a hat shop told her it was bleach.
She called mutual acquaintances and told them I did this.


Now I am getting texts on my phone every other day about these hats. At first, I talked it through with her, but I've ignored her since. Today, I received a text that "there will be consequences". Then she sent the message that she visited the police and small claims courts. I don't want to provoke her. Do I just stay silent and continue to keep records of her actions? Also, what do I do now that there is a police report. Is this on my record for everyone to view? if so, then how do I fight it. I have documented her words actions over the last several months. I never touch her things. I stay far away from her. But I feel like this makes her carry on even more strongly to try to get a reaction from me.

This living situation depresses me and I have been trying to find somewhere to move for several months. I am a freelancer and I don't have a strong source of income at the moment. What can I do to protect myself?

Who is this woman to you - your mother, your wife, your girlfriend, your roommate?

 

[photoshop2010]

Thank you for the reply. I don't understand, "and then its down to damage control." What do you mean by this?
Yes, I am continuing to look for a place.
Do I file a police report informing them of her own?
Will these police records be searchable by my license, public record, name?... I just find the whole situation to be terribly embarrassing.
She has threatened me so I will have to report it if that is best, but I just hate to have my name associated with this nonsense. I don't want to be associated with her at all, not even on paper. It is embarrassing that her drama is spilling over into my life and public records.

Thank you again for your response.

Make a police report if she's actually threatening you.

And then it's down to damage control. The obvious next step would be to find somewhere else to live.

 

[photoshop2010]

Yes, we share an apartment. I don't know her personally. I have a room on the other side of the living room.
She is a roommate, but we don't hang out or know each other well.

Who is this woman to you - your mother, your wife, your girlfriend, your roommate?

 

[quincy]

Thank you for the reply. I don't understand, "and then its down to damage control." What do you mean by this?
Yes, I am continuing to look for a place.
Do I file a police report informing them of her own?
Will these police records be searchable by my license, public record, name?... I just find the whole situation to be terribly embarrassing.
She has threatened me so I will have to report it if that is best, but I just hate to have my name associated with this nonsense. I don't want to be associated with her at all, not even on paper. It is embarrassing that her drama is spilling over into my life and public records.

Thank you again for your response.

If you fear for your safety, call the police.

And, because this woman is a roommate, I suggest you contact your landlord and report the woman's behavior to him/her.

Your best recourse is to find a new place to live. You might want to find a job to supplement your freelance income so this becomes a realistic possibility for you.

Our posts crossed, by the way - thank you for telling me who the person is who is making your life miserable.

 

[photoshop2010]

Hi Quincy, Thanks for your reply. I think my earlier response to your question wasn't a quick enough reply for you to view. She is a roommate.

Yes, we share an apartment. I don't know her personally. I have a room on the other side of the living room.
She is a roommate, but we don't hang out or know each other well

If you fear for your safety, call the police.

Who is this woman?

 

[quincy]

Hi Quincy, Thanks for your reply. I think my earlier response to your question wasn't a quick enough reply for you to view. She is a roommate.

Yes, we share an apartment. I don't know her personally. I have a room on the other side of the living room.
She is a roommate, but we don't hang out or know each other well

The edit to my post was not quick enough either.

I guess in some ways you are lucky this woman is a roommate. It is easier to remove crazy roommates from your life than it is to remove crazy moms or wives or girlfriends.

The woman's behavior is strange. I would tend to ignore it unless or until you are contacted by the police - or unless or until you feel she has become dangerous-strange and then you should report her to the police.

And, again, contacting the landlord might be smart.

I don't see any defamation claim worth pursuing, at least based on what you have written so far.

 

[photoshop2010]

Thanks again for the reply and for the positive outlook - Easier to remove a roommate from my life.
I am searching Craigslist for a new apartment tonight. I will speak to my landlord about her again tomorrow too.

Thanks!

The edit to my post was not quick enough either.

I guess in some ways you are lucky this woman is a roommate. It is easier to remove crazy roommates from your life than it is to remove crazy moms or wives or girlfriends.

The woman's behavior is strange. I would tend to ignore it unless or until you are contacted by the police - or unless or until you feel she has become dangerous-strange and then you should report her to the police.

And, again, contacting the landlord might be smart.

I don't see any defamation claim worth pursuing, at least based on what you have written so far.

 

[quincy]

Thanks again for the reply and for the positive outlook - Easier to remove a roommate from my life.
I am searching Craigslist for a new apartment tonight. I will speak to my landlord about her again tomorrow too.

Thanks!

You're welcome, photoshop2010. Thanks for the thanks.

I wish you success in not only finding a new apartment but also, if you again will be having a roommate, I wish you success in finding a sane roommate to share the space.

Good luck.