Public displays of affection during custody dispute

[BUrywater]

California-

I am dating a woman who is currently going through a divorce and custody dispute.

She fears that if seen in public (by someone that might know her estranged husband), holding hands with me, that the husband could use that against her in the custody hearings. She believes that she is not allowed to enter into a romantic relationship during the custody proceedings.

Are her concerns valid? Can the husband use this innocent display of affection in any way against her in the custody dispute?

 

[nextwife]

Why not make life easier and keep your hands off another guy's wife until she is legally NOT his wife?

 

[stealth2]

California-

I am dating a woman who is currently going through a divorce and custody dispute.

She fears that if seen in public (by someone that might know her estranged husband), holding hands with me, that the husband could use that against her in the custody hearings. She believes that she is not allowed to enter into a romantic relationship during the custody proceedings.

Are her concerns valid? Can the husband use this innocent display of affection in any way against her in the custody dispute?

She's still married, dude. And if she's in the middle of a custody battle? The LAST thing she should be doing is getting cozy with you in public.

 

[NotSoNew]

i agree i would keep it on the DL, its certainly not going to help her case at all!

 

[casa]

California-

I am dating a woman who is currently going through a divorce and custody dispute.

She fears that if seen in public (by someone that might know her estranged husband), holding hands with me, that the husband could use that against her in the custody hearings. She believes that she is not allowed to enter into a romantic relationship during the custody proceedings.

Are her concerns valid? Can the husband use this innocent display of affection in any way against her in the custody dispute?

Even though CA is a no-fault state re; divorce...During a custody battle- it's relevant if Mom is already cozying up to guy#2 before guy#1 is even out of the picture legally (& children are already going through the transition of the divorce as it is). Regardless of whether anyone would/could use it 'against' her in court, she should be focusing on the Children's Best Interest...stabilizing the family, ensuring the kids have a healthy transition, etc. and not who her next love interest is.

 

[BUrywater]

Umm.. the question is a legal one. I didn't come here for a Jerry Springer audience. Regardless of your emotional opinions, are there any legal arguments as to why she shouldn't be able to show public displays of affection (holding hands).

By the way.. we are both in our 30's, making us consenting adults. Her husband and her split up before I ever met her, and he is already making arrangements to re-marry with the woman he was having an affair with. So, unless you have a LEGAL reason as to why displays of public affections are not appropriate, please just read this and don't respond.

So far, no one has presented any.

 

[AHA]

Umm.. the question is a legal one. I didn't come here for a Jerry Springer audience. Regardless of your emotional opinions, are there any legal arguments as to why she shouldn't be able to show public displays of affection (holding hands).

By the way.. we are both in our 30's, making us consenting adults. Her husband and her split up before I ever met her, and he is already making arrangements to re-marry with the woman he was having an affair with. So, unless you have a LEGAL reason as to why displays of public affections are not appropriate, please just read this and don't respond.

So far, no one has presented any.

Tone it down with the attitude, you are on the internet telling the world that you are dating a married woman, so obviously you are going to get reactions. Either ignore them or talk to a lawyer in private.
YOU are asking for help, so don't "bite" the hands that could help you.

 

[ceara19]

Umm.. the question is a legal one. I didn't come here for a Jerry Springer audience. Regardless of your emotional opinions, are there any legal arguments as to why she shouldn't be able to show public displays of affection (holding hands).

By the way.. we are both in our 30's, making us consenting adults. Her husband and her split up before I ever met her, and he is already making arrangements to re-marry with the woman he was having an affair with. So, unless you have a LEGAL reason as to why displays of public affections are not appropriate, please just read this and don't respond.

So far, no one has presented any.

There is no LAW that says she can't get all touchy, feely with you in front of a crowd (as long as you keep your clothes on that is). There's no LAW that says a parent can't sit at home and get all liquored up night after night either. What it boils down to is how the JUDGE will perceive these actions. And since you have no way of knowing how the judge might feel about PDA's with a man other than her husband, you might want to stop advertising the relationship for now. Plus, did you ever stop to think that the rest of the world might not want to witness your foreplay?

 

[BUrywater]

I don't need help from emotional misfits or assumptive As*es. This are simple questions, directed at lawyers (as the website implies this service is offered here), which deserve simple legal answers.

I already know the answer to my own question, but my answer is not good enough. I have to show a certain 'someone' the responses from supposed professionals in the legal industry, that reinforce my argument.

I didn't realize this website is full of 'drama mamas' who's only purpose of existence is to attack strangers posing questions.

Its almost comical to think that this is a legal website, where one would expect to find professionals whom behave professionaly. Yet, as I read through the threads, I find pattern after pattern of emotional outburts from those that are responding.

>>>Why not make life easier and keep your hands off another guy's wife until she is legally NOT his wife?<<<
>>> Plus, did you ever stop to think that the rest of the world might not want to witness your foreplay?<<<
>>>There is no LAW that says she can't get all touchy, feely with you in front of a crowd<<<
>>>not who her next love interest is.<<<

Boy, these sure are high-professional standards, in response to a simple question regarding nothing more than 'holding hands'.

Or from other threads;

>>>I agree. After all, he's got two lunatics now, so changing lunatics in mid-stream won't confuse him too much.<<<
>>>There are plenty of women out there who are married to men with previous children, and they don't act like biatches<<<
>>>NO!!! If he decides to divorce her, she'll just come back HERE and want to know how to stick it to him in the divorce and ask if she can sue mom for "alienation of affection".<<<
>>Yeah, I just went back and reread. Okay, so OP is stupid and has comprehension problems. What else is new?<<<
>>>Drinking and driving, blowing a .15 does?! You really should care more about the safety of my family if I am on the same road as you.Grow Up already!<<<
>>>Just curious, are you an abusive drunk? Not that it would make it OK for mom to tell the child even if it IS true.<<<
>>>why are you asking? Are you the one getting a little on the side?<<<
>>>If you can't even bother to explain your situation, stop asking people here to waste their time. No one here is a mind reader. Give the details or go somewhere else for answers!<<<




Please, do this website a genuine service, and don't respond to a legal question unless you have a LEGAL answer. I really expected more from this service, and I surely WILL NEVER USE THIS SERVICE TO ACTUALLY LOCATE A LAWYER.

But, hey.. thanks for the legal advice.. it was extremely helpful. (rolls eyes)... Hopefully a REAL lawyer will step up to the plate and give me what I'm looking for; a boring, no-nonsense response with just the facts, and not Oprah on steroids.

 

[ceara19]

You have received the CORRECT LEGAL answer to your question. There is no LAW that states PDA with a person other then your spouse is is illegal. However, since she is going through a custody dispute, she is RIGHT to be concerned.

The ONLY lawyer that is going to give you the answer you WANT to hear (which is apparently, "Go right ahead and don't worry about it") is going to be the HUSBAND'S attorney, because he could use it to help his client. Actually, a few of the lawyers here might give you that answer now that you have been an ass about the replies you have gotten so far.

 

[GrowUp!]

Umm.. the question is a legal one. I didn't come here for a Jerry Springer audience. Regardless of your emotional opinions, are there any legal arguments as to why she shouldn't be able to show public displays of affection (holding hands).

By the way.. we are both in our 30's, making us consenting adults. Her husband and her split up before I ever met her, and he is already making arrangements to re-marry with the woman he was having an affair with. So, unless you have a LEGAL reason as to why displays of public affections are not appropriate, please just read this and don't respond.

So far, no one has presented any.

Well then a-hole, since you're going to be like this, then pay an attorney for legal advice. Then see what you're told, jerkoff. Funny how you reference Springer, when your activity is perfect for a show. Moron. No wonder you're on here asking such a moronic question.

 

[LdiJ]

Umm.. the question is a legal one. I didn't come here for a Jerry Springer audience. Regardless of your emotional opinions, are there any legal arguments as to why she shouldn't be able to show public displays of affection (holding hands).

By the way.. we are both in our 30's, making us consenting adults. Her husband and her split up before I ever met her, and he is already making arrangements to re-marry with the woman he was having an affair with. So, unless you have a LEGAL reason as to why displays of public affections are not appropriate, please just read this and don't respond.

So far, no one has presented any.

Then let me answer from more of a legal perspective. Mom has most likely been advised by others that when in the midst of a custody battle, when not yet divorced, that its important to be discrete if you are dating. Why? Because lack of discretion ALWAYS complicates an already messy situation.

You, apparently, have a need for public displays of affection so badly that you are not respecting mom or mom's need for discretion. So much so, that you have come to a public forum in an attempt to get information that will pursuade mom that she is wrong to be discrete.

Mom is doing the wise and correct thing from the standpoint of legal strategy. She is putting the best interest of her children ahead of the best interest of her boyfriend. If you care about mom you will do the same.

 

[stealth2]

My lawyer made it very plain - don't date publically until after custody was resolved. But you do as you like. After all, they're not your kids so who cares.

 

[AHA]

I don't need help from emotional misfits or assumptive As*es. This are simple questions, directed at lawyers (as the website implies this service is offered here), which deserve simple legal answers.

I already know the answer to my own question, but my answer is not good enough. I have to show a certain 'someone' the responses from supposed professionals in the legal industry, that reinforce my argument.

I didn't realize this website is full of 'drama mamas' who's only purpose of existence is to attack strangers posing questions.

Its almost comical to think that this is a legal website, where one would expect to find professionals whom behave professionaly. Yet, as I read through the threads, I find pattern after pattern of emotional outburts from those that are responding.

>>>Why not make life easier and keep your hands off another guy's wife until she is legally NOT his wife?<<<
>>> Plus, did you ever stop to think that the rest of the world might not want to witness your foreplay?<<<
>>>There is no LAW that says she can't get all touchy, feely with you in front of a crowd<<<
>>>not who her next love interest is.<<<

Boy, these sure are high-professional standards, in response to a simple question regarding nothing more than 'holding hands'.

Or from other threads;

>>>I agree. After all, he's got two lunatics now, so changing lunatics in mid-stream won't confuse him too much.<<<
>>>There are plenty of women out there who are married to men with previous children, and they don't act like biatches<<<
>>>NO!!! If he decides to divorce her, she'll just come back HERE and want to know how to stick it to him in the divorce and ask if she can sue mom for "alienation of affection".<<<
>>Yeah, I just went back and reread. Okay, so OP is stupid and has comprehension problems. What else is new?<<<
>>>Drinking and driving, blowing a .15 does?! You really should care more about the safety of my family if I am on the same road as you.Grow Up already!<<<
>>>Just curious, are you an abusive drunk? Not that it would make it OK for mom to tell the child even if it IS true.<<<
>>>why are you asking? Are you the one getting a little on the side?<<<
>>>If you can't even bother to explain your situation, stop asking people here to waste their time. No one here is a mind reader. Give the details or go somewhere else for answers!<<<




Please, do this website a genuine service, and don't respond to a legal question unless you have a LEGAL answer. I really expected more from this service, and I surely WILL NEVER USE THIS SERVICE TO ACTUALLY LOCATE A LAWYER.

But, hey.. thanks for the legal advice.. it was extremely helpful. (rolls eyes)... Hopefully a REAL lawyer will step up to the plate and give me what I'm looking for; a boring, no-nonsense response with just the facts, and not Oprah on steroids.

Do yourself a favor and read more carefully next time before posting on the internet. NOWHERE ON THIS SITE DOES IT SAY THAT EVERY POSTER IS A LAWYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since YOU are able to post and YOU are NOT a lawyer, it's pretty easy to figure out that anyone can post here.

God, I hate spoonfeeding ADULTS!!!

 

[ceara19]

God, I hate spoonfeeding ADULTS!!!

The problem is that you're using a SPOON! A sharp pointy utensil gets the point across faster.