Question about not being served

[Zemzem]

I lived in California for sometime and had a child there with a random man who I had no relationship with. I just found out that he’s suing me for both custody and child support my child has seen him a total of two times. I moved back to my home state and he is trying to serve me at my sisters house in California where I have NEVER lived. What happens if he is unable to find me and how can I prevent a default judgment.

 

[quincy]

I lived in California for sometime and had a child there with a random man who I had no relationship with. I just found out that he’s suing me for both custody and child support my child has seen him a total of two times. I moved back to my home state and he is trying to serve me at my sisters house in California where I have NEVER lived. What happens if he is unable to find me and how can I prevent a default judgment.

Has his paternity already been established?

Where are you currently living?

 

[Zemzem]

He signed the paternity paper at birth and I’m in the east coast my home state

 

[quincy]

He signed the paternity paper at birth and I’m in the east coast my home state

What is the name of your home state?

 

[Zemzem]

Ny

 

[quincy]

Thank you.

The random man signed the affidavit of paternity. He is not really a random guy at all but the acknowledged father of your child.

Trying to evade service will not be to your, or your child’s, advantage in the long run. I recommend you speak to a family law attorney in New York now.

 

[Zemzem]

Well I’m not trying to evade him actually I’m asking how to prevent a default judgment since he doesn’t know where I live

 

[adjusterjack]

If he can't complete personal service he may be able to convince the judge to allow service by publication. After complying with the publication requirements service can be accepted by the court as complete even if you never see it. That's how he might get a default judgment.

 

[quincy]

Well I’m not trying to evade him actually I’m asking how to prevent a default judgment since he doesn’t know where I live

Your sister knows where you live, correct? Is she the one who informed you of the attempt to serve you? She is no doubt just one California contact who can possibly lead a process server to your out-of-state doorstep.

A process server has tools at his disposal that can assist in locating you but, as adjusterjack noted, if several attempts to serve you fail, the father can request an alternate means of service. Any delay now is, in other words, merely that - a delay. And if a court determines you purposely have kept your child from the dad, this potentially can affect a custody decision.

How old is your child?

I am not by any measure an expert in child support or child custody matters, by the way, but FreeAdvice has as a member a family law attorney who probably can give you some real-life consequences that can come from trying to prevent a parent from contact with their child. I am tagging Ohiogal - @Ohiogal - so she can provide some insight.

 

[LdiJ]

I lived in California for sometime and had a child there with a random man who I had no relationship with. I just found out that he’s suing me for both custody and child support my child has seen him a total of two times. I moved back to my home state and he is trying to serve me at my sisters house in California where I have NEVER lived. What happens if he is unable to find me and how can I prevent a default judgment.

How long ago did you move back to your home state? Was it before or after the child was born? That is really critical information because it could determine what state has jurisdiction of the matter.

 

[Zemzem]

How long ago did you move back to your home state? Was it before or after the child was born? That is really critical information because it could determine what state has jurisdiction of the matter.

I moved back in the beginning of 2023 , I havnt heard from him in over 11 years so I’m pretty surprised he’s doing this now . I’ve had the same phone number all this time and still do and he hasn’t called or texted the child is 12 going on 13 ……..

 

[LdiJ]

I moved back in the beginning of 2023 , I havnt heard from him in over 11 years so I’m pretty surprised he’s doing this now . I’ve had the same phone number all this time and still do and he hasn’t called or texted the child is 12 going on 13 ……..

Ok, then you have lived where you live now long enough that jurisdiction would be established in the state you live in now, assuming that there were never any court orders (other than child support) in California.

So, if I understand you correctly he has not seen or spoken to the child in over 11 years? By his own choice? Are there any court orders at all regarding the child?

Most likely you are going to need to consult with an attorney to make sure that you take the necessary steps to shut down his hopes for primary custody and child support. However, when you do so, it's going to be important that you give the full information on the situation, from the get go, or the attorney won't be able to give you good advice.

 

[quincy]

I moved back in the beginning of 2023 , I havnt heard from him in over 11 years so I’m pretty surprised he’s doing this now . I’ve had the same phone number all this time and still do and he hasn’t called or texted the child is 12 going on 13 ……..

Thank you for providing your child’s age. Is it possible that your child contacted dad, hence dad’s seemingly sudden interest in asserting his parental rights?

Twelve/Thirteen is an age where children are exploring who they are as individuals and attempting to exercise their independence.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you for providing your child’s age. Is it possible that your child contacted dad, hence dad’s seemingly sudden interest in asserting his parental rights?

Twelve/Thirteen is an age where children are exploring who they are as individuals and attempting to exercise their independence.

Excellent question, Q.

 

[LdiJ]

Excellent question, Q.

I agree, that IS a good question. However, if that is what happened dad's reaction to the situation is still over the top. He is not attempting to assert his parental rights, he is suing for primary custody and child support.