Question on the process

[allforher1984]

You might be the residential parent for school purposes. That isn't the same as just being the residential parent.

Normally in a 50/50 situation the parent with the higher income is the one who has to pay some child support. You can write it in the agreement that neither of you will pay child support, but child support is fluid and that does not mean that she could not file for it later.

So, would we just write in the order no child support to be ordered at this time? And what is the difference between residential parent for school purposes and just plain old residential parent? Is there any advantages/drawbacks to the wording?

 

[allforher1984]

Ok, if you can make the 50/50 work then the court will let you do it. It takes excellent communitcation skills to pull it off. and If one party is opposed to it, then it most likely will not happen.

OK, we are communicating great, even though I'm super mad at her.

If it is just for her--then no, you arn't on the hook for anything. but if she gets Food Support, or MFIP (cash TANF) or Child Care assistance, then yes, expect that the county will get involved in your case.

Could she even file for these programs if I am the residential parent? Or does that go back to LDIJ's comment about residential for schooling vs. just residential parent. You all are great by the way!

 

[CSO286]

So, would we just write in the order no child support to be ordered at this time? And what is the difference between residential parent for school purposes and just plain old residential parent? Is there any advantages/drawbacks to the wording?

You can't be residential parent for school purposes only--the schools don't like that.

You can have Joint legal/Joint physical custody and outline the timeshare, the holidays, the summer, birthdays, etc.....

You should also have a backup clause indicating who has final say on certain types of decisions should you be unable to agree....Maybe mom picks the daycare and Dad picks the school.....Go to the deltabravo link I gave you for important things to consider.

 

[LdiJ]

You can't be residential parent for school purposes only--the schools don't like that.

You can have Joint legal/Joint physical custody and outline the timeshare, the holidays, the summer, birthdays, etc.....

You should als ohave a backup clasue indicating who has final say on certain types of decisions should you be unable to agree....Maybe mom picks the daycare and Dad picks the school.....Go to the deltabravo link I gave you for important things to consider.

I disagree with the bolded. Otherwise in a 50/50 custody situation, in a school district that does not allow the children to be registered in either parent's school district, you could have child who could not be enrolled in either.

I have seen many orders that have stated that a parent was the residential parent or primary parent for school purposes.

 

[CSO286]

I disagree with the bolded. Otherwise in a 50/50 custody situation, in a school district that does not allow the children to be registered in either parent's school district, you could have child who could not be enrolled in either.

How do you get here?

In a 50/50, one parent is still designated as primary, but it is primary for everything, not a primary parent for X, Y, or Z category. It's how it gets done here.

The can still have the joint legal and joint physical, the 50/50 split and each can have final decsion-making authority of x, y, and z categories, but most MN custody orders still do designate one party as the primary parent.

 

[LdiJ]

How do you get here?

In a 50/50, one parent is still designated as primary, but it is primary for everything, not a primary parent for X, Y, or Z category. It's how it gets done here.

The can still have the joint legal and joint physical, the 50/50 split and each can have final decsion-making authority of x, y, and z categories, but most MN custody orders still do designate one party as the primary parent.

Ok...if that is the way the MN does it. However that is not standard everywhere else...and is very odd to me because it violates the whole concept of joint legal and physical custody.

 

[allforher1984]

OK, so it's wording. I should put that I am designated as primary parent. Ouch, that might not go over as well as residential parent. We basically agree on everything, she just doesn't want me to "primary" or "custodial" parent because it would make her look bad (her words not mine) I was really getting somewhere with her and the term "residential" parent. That one didn't seem to bother her as much! Basically, she's fine with everything 50/50 and my address being used for school (she understands that if she moves away it won't be 50/50 anymore) but she doesn't like the labels primary or custodial. She says it makes her seem like an unfit mom.....hmmmmm. What to do. I did read somewhere that in MN you can call yourselves anything you want as long as you agree what you mean by the term. Does that mean that we can call me the residential parent instead of primary, CSO?

 

[CSO286]

OK, so it's wording. I should put that I am designated as primary parent. Ouch, that might not go over as well as residential parent. We basically agree on everything, she just doesn't want me to "primary" or "custodial" parent because it would make her look bad (her words not mine) I was really getting somewhere with her and the term "residential" parent. That one didn't seem to bother her as much! Basically, she's fine with everything 50/50 and my address being used for school (she understands that if she moves away it won't be 50/50 anymore) but she doesn't like the labels primary or custodial. She says it makes her seem like an unfit mom.....hmmmmm. What to do. I did read somewhere that in MN you can call yourselves anything you want as long as you agree what you mean by the term. Does that mean that we can call me the residential parent instead of primary, CSO?

The terms Custodial and Non-Custodial Parents are the ones used in most MN orders, but as long as you both agree on the word and it meanings, I think you'll be fine.

 

[LdiJ]

OK, so it's wording. I should put that I am designated as primary parent. Ouch, that might not go over as well as residential parent. We basically agree on everything, she just doesn't want me to "primary" or "custodial" parent because it would make her look bad (her words not mine) I was really getting somewhere with her and the term "residential" parent. That one didn't seem to bother her as much! Basically, she's fine with everything 50/50 and my address being used for school (she understands that if she moves away it won't be 50/50 anymore) but she doesn't like the labels primary or custodial. She says it makes her seem like an unfit mom.....hmmmmm. What to do. I did read somewhere that in MN you can call yourselves anything you want as long as you agree what you mean by the term. Does that mean that we can call me the residential parent instead of primary, CSO?

I have a suggestion. Why don't you contact the local school district and ask them whether or not its a problem to enroll a child if neither parent is designated as primary or residential parent? Even though it seems to be normal to designate a primary parent in MN maybe the school districts don't actually require it.

If so, then you could avoid that designation in your agreement entirely, and just designate that the child will attend school in XXX school district.