question regarding rights of stepmom

[lisagr33]

What is the name of your state?TN. My ex has custody of our children and remarried in May 2005. My question(s) is/are what are her rights as their stepmom and what can I do if she is trying to step in as the mom?

 

[xKellyx]

What is the name of your state?TN. My ex has custody of our children and remarried in May 2005. My question(s) is/are what are her rights as their stepmom and what can I do if she is trying to step in as the mom?

You didn't have your children with her, therefore she has no rights.

 

[CJane]

What is the name of your state?TN. My ex has custody of our children and remarried in May 2005. My question(s) is/are what are her rights as their stepmom and what can I do if she is trying to step in as the mom?

Legally, she has no rights as a parent. That's the easy answer. However, if your ex has 'given' her the right to discipline the children, administer medication, take them to Dr appointments, etc - there's probably nothing you can do about it.

What are the specifics?

On a personal note, you might want to give it some time. They haven't been married all that long and she's probably testing the waters and trying to make a place for herself in the home. I know that when my ex got married, his new wife was acting like Little Suzy Homemaker/SuperMom. It's been a few months, she's now pregnant, and while I wouldn't say she's lost interest in the kids, her level of involvement has become a lot more acceptable.

 

[Zephyr]

You didn't have your children with her, therefore she has no rights.

I like that one


in what way is she trying to step in as mom?

 

[lisagr33]

She has apparently granted herself the rights of being their mom because she punishes our children (doesn't sit down and say "this is how it works in the house" she outright punishes them) and my ex has told our children it would be best for them to call her mom. No discussion with me on that(of course he thinks he is pretty much above any law). When our children are with them, they have to refer to me as biological mom or my first name.

 

[stealth2]

She has apparently granted herself the rights of being their mom because she punishes our children (doesn't sit down and say "this is how it works in the house" she outright punishes them)

Unless she's punishing them corporally - she has every right in the world to discipline them in her home.

 

[lisagr33]

does running steps with 10lb weights sound like corporal punishment especially when the only form of corporal punishment allowed according to CO is open handed spank on the bottom. ex has also admitted to me that she has used a belt on our son (who seems to be getting the brunt of the punishment and to which I have a picture of).

 

[stealth2]

Actually, I quite like that running steps idea. And no, that is not corporal punishment. Using a belt would be.

 

[Zephyr]

ex has also admitted to me that she has used a belt on our son (who seems to be getting the brunt of the punishment and to which I have a picture of).


if it were me, that would be reported to child services, and ex would be on his way to court for contempt and or child endangerment. To allow someone to strike your child with a belt is unacceptable. And to many, including myself, abusive.

 

[Zephyr]

Actually, I quite like that running steps idea.


me too way better than being sent to the bedroom, (to play video games or whatever)

 

[LdiJ]

Actually, I quite like that running steps idea.


me too way better than being sent to the bedroom, (to play video games or whatever)

Depends....if the 10 lb weights are attached to his feet....its not only abusive but could do real damage to his joints.

 

[lisagr33]

LdiJ-He has to carry the weights in his hands while running the steps.

 

[LdiJ]

LdiJ-He has to carry the weights in his hands while running the steps.

Well...then odds are that wouldn't be considered abusive....but the belt sure might.

Edit......How old is your son? I just went and picked up two 10 pound weights and I am not sure that it wouldn't be considered abusive, depending on your son's age.

 

[CJane]

How old is the boy?

IMO, the belt is extreme and obviously against the CO. If the ex is allowing that then he's in contempt. If it only happened once and he told SMom never to do it again and she hasn't, it's going to be harder to push.

The weights thing, depending on the age of the child isn't so bad, imo. Though I'd prefer that he be told to mow the lawn or some other such productive activity that would still p*ss him off/wear him out/make him think about whether he wants to repeat the behavior.

Still, I'm pretty sure as long as dad is in agreement with the 'punishments', and they don't violate the Court Order, I think your hands are pretty much tied.

 

[lisagr33]

Son is 8 years old. The weights used is for dumb bells or barbells. He is ADHD and is on medication. Per son's pediatrician here in Tennessee the punishment is inappropriate for him. My ex has been reported to CPS but they did nothing.