Question

[barrett21]

What is the name of your state?Tn
My husband just finished going to court in August over a move away case. They managed to settle on everything except for the transportation so they had to go in front of the Judge. My husband's ex wanted him to drive halfway both times for pick up and drop off but he could not do that due to an auto accident so I drive him and I cannot get off work on time on Fridays to get him there on time. The judge ordered the mom to do the majority of the driving but said that she would reset a hearing for the case so he goes back in August of next year here are my questions. Does this mean she will more than likely have my husband start meeting her halfway both times? And when my husband goes back in an year can he ask for a few things to be modified or will that be a bad idea? Any input would be appreciated Thanks!

 

[lisagr33]

How far is the distance? It is a possibility for the judge to make him meet half way. I am having to do that right now with my ex. What kind of modifications is he wanting?

 

[barrett21]

distance

Right now we drive about 65 miles one way to pick up and 93 miles one way to drop off. Well when he went to court this last time he told his lawyer that he wanted to have fall break, but the child's school has a thing called a ckea conference instead so there is no fall break well the lawyer got up there and mentioned all of that and he thought he was going to get it but when his papers came it just said if there was a fall break he would get it well the mother says that is not a fall break and he can not have it so he wanted to go back in a year and see if he could get that fixed. Also he wanted to see about more summer visitation but the lawyer told him last time it was not a good time so he wondered if he waited another year would that be a good time or no?

 

[lisagr33]

Why is it 65 miles for pick up and 93 miles to drop off? It seems to me that if the judge told the mom to drive the majority that it would mean the same distance for both pick up and drop off. I would go back in a year and try to get a modification of summer time. How much time in the summer does your husband get right now?

 

[barrett21]

travel

The drop off and pick up points are in separate locations because I could not get off work in time to meet at the furtherest location on both days we had to meet closer on Friday. The mom is driving the majority for her it is 160 miles on Friday and 130 miles on Sunday but for the Sunday drive even though it is more miles for her the timing is the same for both parties. Right now he gets 16 days for summer but he was hoping to get more because of the drive at least if he is driving it is for longer visits.

 

[barrett21]

Thanks

I forgot to say thanks for the advice!

 

[lisagr33]

your welcome

barrett21-Since your husband is only getting, what 2 weeks for the summer now. I would ask for at least a month. That doesn't sound too unreasonable. The way it works with my ex, we alternate summer weeks and the support ceases during that time.

 

[barrett21]

summer visitation

Well he wanted to do it so that he would get two weeks a month and then she would two weeks a month they alternate 4th of July so he figured whoever's turn it was to have it would get the first two weeks and the other could get the last two weeks of July and then do June the same way but she won't budge on the 16 days she says it's already to much so he wants to ask the Judge but don't want to upset the Judge by asking for stuff when He goes back over the Transportation in a year. Like I said we asked the lawyer and he said it was to soon to ask for it. So he's hoping another year will maybe not be so bad.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Well he wanted to do it so that he would get two weeks a month and then she would two weeks a month they alternate 4th of July so he figured whoever's turn it was to have it would get the first two weeks and the other could get the last two weeks of July and then do June the same way but she won't budge on the 16 days she says it's already to much so he wants to ask the Judge but don't want to upset the Judge by asking for stuff when He goes back over the Transportation in a year. Like I said we asked the lawyer and he said it was to soon to ask for it. So he's hoping another year will maybe not be so bad.

The two weeks a month is too much back and forth, since there is such a distance. He should ask for a solid month (like the month of July). It's a more reasonable request for the child to prevent the child traveling so much.

 

[barrett21]

summer visitation

He was trying to think of something so that everyone could still get their Holidays the mom won't come off of the 4th of July even though she has had it the 5 years except this one when it was granted to my husband every other year. Maybe it could alternate each year to were when it was his turn for the fourth of July he got the whole month and when it wasn't he could get like the month of June or something like that and have him for Father's Day and our daughters birthday and stuff not sure he'll have to work on that.

 

[lisagr33]

That might work. Do they alternate the other holidays as well?

 

[barrett21]

parenting plan

Right now he gets every other weekend they alternate Easter, Spring Break, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. She gets Mothers day weekend of course and He gets Fathers Day weekend and for Memorial Day whoever has the weekend gets it. He thought he was going to get the CKEA conference every other year as a fall break but it wasn't worded like that it just said he got the child's fall break every other year and the mom says it's not but the school says it don't have one because of that. So when he goes back he would like to ask for more summer visitation, for the ckea conference time every other year, and he also wanted extended weekend time like if it is his scheduled weekend and the child is out of school the next day for Martin Luther King day or something he can have the extra day. I don't think that is to much to go back and ask for but he is afraid the Judge might think that since he just went this past year.

 

[lisagr33]

It doesn't hurt to ask for more time with your child. It just depends on if the judge says it is okay. Hang in there and it will get better.

 

[barrett21]

exactly

That's what I told him. All she can say is no and I mean You can blame him if it was me I would want all I could get and I guess that's what he's trying to do. Before we went to court and he got all of this all he got was 8 hours on Saturday and he was to be supervised by Him mom but the mother of the child let him start to have him on his own and let him stay with us all the time and stuff then when her new husband came it all stopped and they moved. I told him to go for it.

 

[barrett21]

Well I shouldn't have said all the time he got to have him when she needed a babysitter he didn't get to have him on holidays even if it was his time she cancelled.