Questions about custody

[OutForRevenge]

What is the name of your state? Wa

I have a nephew who is 14, and wants to live with his father's family (us). My brother is locked up on some false allegations, and the mother had custody of him. Well it's been an ongoing battle with her about our family spending time with him, and at one point she let him live with my other brother. Her biggest issue was child support. She made my brother sign papers that he wouldn't persue any child support or monies if the 14 year old lived with him. About two months later she decided to make him move back at one point because of the lack of communication between her and her son. The point is, none of her kids LIKE HER.. She is TRUE TRAILER TRASH.. If you look up the definition, you will SEE HER NAME.

Now, she has told this 14 year old that she will cut all of his ties with our family. I found out yesterday that he is not living with her. She is making him live with a friend of hers in a trailer park. She has always treated these kids as PAYCHECKS. And since my brother is locked up, she doesn't want her son.

SHE WAS on welfare up until they kicked her off. She would literally sit on the couch and eat ALL DAY. We would go over there to get the kids, and there would be clothes up each side of the wall in the hallway. My mother would buy them clothes everytime they came to visit. Yes she even called CPS on her, because these kids were not being taken care of.

Anyway, we are very concerned, and we do not want him living with strangers, and want to know if there is anything we can do if the mother is not raising him??? I believe my mother would have some rights as a grandparent correct?

We plan on calling the social worker today to reopen the case.

Any advice/help would be appreciated !!

 

[oberauerdorf]

I believe my mother would have some rights as a grandparent correct?

Wrong. Your parents nor hers have any rights to this child.

However, since you are reopening the case with cps keep on that tract. That's all you can do until the children are found to be 'in need' by the court.

At that time, you, your parents or anyone else related to the children can file for legal guardianship.

They may be slow and screw up alot, but at this point cps is the only option.

 

[OutForRevenge]

Let me ask you another question then, why is it ok for her to put this child in a bad enviroment, where he is skipping school and so on. And why is the mother allowed to put him with strangers where there is family that's willing to care for him? Why is this allowed? I am very confused on WASHINGTON LAW...

Yes I will continue to make the state do their job, since they have failed these kids for so long, and since we (the father's family) have no say so.

About 3 years ago, my mother took custody of these kids because the mother was on welfare (Long story) but she was married to an ex-con who brought drugs into the home. My nephew went to the school counselor and turned her in.

During this mediation session my mother was told that they have a grandparents rights law out in washington, and that if the mother and father didn't straighten up (about custody issues) then she was going to file for custody herself. And she was told by CPS that would be allowed???? Is this not true? I am just concerned about the next step...

 

[oberauerdorf]

Let me ask you another question then, why is it ok for her to put this child in a bad enviroment, where he is skipping school and so on. And why is the mother allowed to put him with strangers where there is family that's willing to care for him? Why is this allowed? I am very confused on WASHINGTON LAW...

Because she is the mother. And legally she can. Until a court or a judge tells her she can't. Very simple.

About 3 years ago, my mother took custody of these kids because the mother was on welfare (Long story) but she was married to an ex-con who brought drugs into the home. My nephew went to the school counselor and turned her in.

And does CPS know about this? If not, they should be told.

During this mediation session my mother was told that they have a grandparents rights law out in washington, and that if the mother and father didn't straighten up (about custody issues) then she was going to file for custody herself. And she was told by CPS that would be allowed???? Is this not true? I am just concerned about the next step...

No, you were not told wrong. But, there is a big difference between a grandparent's rights law and the custody issues. If mommy doesn't want to allow for the grandparents to have any rights and her rights have not been taken away, then the grandparents have no rights. Simple.

 

[OutForRevenge]

This CPS worker has been in these kid's lives since 1994. This is not something that just started up. These kids have been put through alot, and the state seems to allow this lady to continue. There has to be someone that is going to be held accountable for the way of which these kids are brought up.

My brother at one point was told by the school counselors that he needed to gain custody of them and that they would be behind him 100%. My brother tried, but for the simple fact that both of the girls were not biologically his (he raised from birth) he could not do that, so he never tried just getting custody of his son because he did not want to split them up. So this "mother" has always used them as leverage (to this day she still does).

One time my mother called CPS (the same one) on the mother (because the kids called one night and said they were alone and didn't have anything to eat. Well CPS showed up and found out that the kids had lice so bad, they had to tent and had 4 government workers to rid the house of these bugs. They had to cut the girls' hair so short because they couldn't get all the eggs..

I know this is a long response, but this has been an ongoing issue, and seems that it will continue until we can get the state to hear this child...

Thanks for your response

 

[imwoodstock]

This sounds like a pretty bad situation for these kids. Isn't there a reporter somewhere doing a story on what cps isn't doing for kids? Just an idea. cps and the courts seem to move when the press has their eyes on them.

 

[oberauerdorf]

And where is the bio father of the girls in all of this?

 

[Bloomer]

Just another point of view here ... not that I don't agree it is a bad situation but ...

One has to understand that when dealing with CPS their main objective, ALWAYS, is to keep the family intact. They will go to great lengths to give the parents every opportunity to clean up their act or to change their ways including counseling or other services that they offer families.

CPS deals with thousands upon thousands of cases of horrible cases that would make a sane person's stomach turn. CPS' objective and reason for being is to protect the children from abuse and neglect - not to ensure that the parents are 'good' parents.

Bad parenting does not always equal abuse and/or neglect in the eyes of the law. It is sad but true.

 

[oberauerdorf]

One time my mother called CPS (the same one) on the mother (because the kids called one night and said they were alone and didn't have anything to eat.

O.K. now there is some information that we don't have.

How old are the children?

Once you answer this I'll come back and give you another option not based on law but what I would do. You can take it or leave it depending on how serious you are about these children.

 

[OutForRevenge]

oberauerdorf: The "fathers" of these girls have never been in the picture. When my brother met her, she had a 1 year old and was pregnant with the other. He took full responsiblity of them, even though he was not on the birth cirtificates. He loves these kids as if they were his own.

Bloomer: I really understand what you are saying, HOWEVER, in this case, these kids have been put in bad situations, and because of that my mother has stood in (many times) and called CPS. My mother is the ONLY one who has put these kids in counseling and made sure she followed up with it. Again, the mother took it upon herself to stop taking them. The state (CPS) in this case is not thinking about the best interest of the child.

From the Social worker's mouth? She said she would testify that these kids are not in a good enviroment. But again, what do we have to do?

imwoodstock: Thanks for the advice... I think I will follow up with a couple of news stations out there and see what they think...

Thanks for the replies... I really appreciate it.. We are trying to get these kids help, and some kind of stability....

 

[oberauerdorf]

oberauerdorf: The "fathers" of these girls have never been in the picture. When my brother met her, she had a 1 year old and was pregnant with the other. He took full responsiblity of them, even though he was not on the birth cirtificates. He loves these kids as if they were his own.

That doesn't matter in the eyes of the law. Until BOTH parent's rights have been terminated, there is nothing you can do.

IF you are successful in terminating the mother's rights, the children go to the father.

Now, answer my other question. How old are these children?

 

[OutForRevenge]

O.K. now there is some information that we don't have.

How old are the children?

Once you answer this I'll come back and give you another option not based on law but what I would do. You can take it or leave it depending on how serious you are about these children

oberauerdorf: Again, this was a about 3 years ago when that happend. And at that time (the oldest, which is handicapped) was about 15 and the younger girl was about 11, and my nephew was about 7 or 8...

 

[oberauerdorf]

So you've been talking about something that happened three years ago?

Now you're starting to get me very disinterested.

I don't care what happened three years ago. I wanted the age of the children NOW. And if and when they are left alone NOW.

And if and when CPS was called THE LAST TIME!

 

[OutForRevenge]

oberauerdorf: NO, NO, NO... This whole issue HAS NOTHING to do with what happend three years ago.. I was giving examples of what these kids have gone through.. Right now, we have a HUGE case with CPS against the mother, and now that the mother has told her son to live elsewhere (with her friend) I basically wanted to know what the chances were to getting him, because of what the mother has put THESE kids through...

When I started this whole thread, I had stated that my nephew is living in a bad (trailer trash) enviroment, because the mother does not want to raise him. She had stated that she doesn't want him to have anything to do with the father's family (us) and well, if she is not raising him, do we have a chance to get him..???


That's what I was basically asking.. Sorry about the confusion..

 

[OutForRevenge]

oberauerdorf: And as for CPS? They are contacted on a monthly basis. See I don't live in Washington, my mother doesn't live in Washington, so we call the CPS worker on a regular basis to make sure the kids are ok. The CPS worker doesn't mind, and really likes my mom alot. She (CPS) respects my mom for her standing in and trying to make sure these kids are ok...

Yes they are left alone now.. The younger girl is out and having a bunch of sex now.. My nephew is skipping school... And so on... The older girl, well I believe she is picked up by the mother's mother...