Also bear in mind... what Mom's saying to the kids is not "bribing" them. It's not a bad thing to say "We'll live near school and you can walk instead of riding the bus!" or "We'll finally have a yard, and we can get that puppy we've talked about!" or "There's a park half a block away that you can skateboard in!" Those are normal conversations ANYONE - even those in intact families - would have when they were moving.
I agree with what you are saying but it depends on HOW mom is presenting it which we do not know.
Exactly. "If you tell the nice person who asks you if you want to live with father or Mommy that you want to live with Mommy, we'll get a puppy at the new house!" is way different. And we all know parents who will phrase things just that way...
I understand that BUT - for the children's sake, I don't think that either one of us should even start that conversation with them until the courts decide.. Its really confusing to my kids. They are all over the board since this started..
Meh. They're young, they'll get over it. Life sometimes changes in the blink of an eye. They'll learn to cope with that - or not. This is one of those things. If your only issue with the conversation is that you think the timing's off, that's really not an issue at all.
Are you all still living together? I would talk to Mom and tell her how confusing you think it is to the kids. And IF your kids bring it all up to you, you should tell them simply that you know it's a hard situation for them, But Mommy & Daddy BOTH love them very much and are trying to figure out (with some help) what the best situation for them is. That they do not have to decide - that's up to the grown-ups. And they can talk to either/both of you when they feel sad.
Thanks for the help on this topic... Im good on the answers that were provided...