Real estate

[LdiJ]

Blah Blah Blah.....Bottom line...Do not make a deal with a woman!!!

Bali...think about what you are saying here. She CANNOT get the refi without his signature (quit claim deed). Therefore he had all the power.

However he did not use his power wisely.

 

[LdiJ]

Unfortunately you have to make some deals in a divorce. I gave her 2+ yrs to make
equity payments, every 6 months....to date nothing. If she had made an attempt
to make something it would look better for her and I would have accepted that.
Meanwhile, I'm renting, getting no equity because she has not paid me so that I
can purchase a home. She has had the privilege of 3 years equity in a home I still
half own, privilege of a tax write off and her lack of responsibility to the divorce.
Yes, I plan on getting a lawyer if I have to. I know if she would have gotten a refi
without my approval, she would have committed mortgage fraud and that would
have been a criminal act.

The whole point is, that there is no way she could have done it. You are on the deed. It could never have been done without your knowledge.

Yes, we should have talked, she was the one that initiated the loan, why didn't she come
to me and tell me instead of doing it behind my back.
So, time will tell what's next I guess.

Maybe she wanted to make sure that she qualified first? Maybe she knew that you would find out because of the deed? Maybe it never occurred to her that you wouldn't be happy that she was finally refinancing to pay you off and get you off the mortgage????

You know, my ex and I were and still are virtually best friends...but I didn't tell HIM, that I was refinancing until I was sure that it was a done deal. I didn't want to get his hopes up until I was sure that I qualified.

The bottom line is that you did far more damage to yourself here than you did to her.

 

[Toyota]

The bottom line is that she knows she owes me for more than what the equity is
in other ways outlined in the divorce, and I will not get that money., if I don't hold out on this ..she will only pay me for the equity amount, which is not a large amount, easy enough for her to pay each year, less than 3500 a year, and she has the means to do it. It's not that she isn't working,they are making an avg of $100+ a yr.

So, maybe I did not do the right thing, but I have to stand for what I think
the fair thing to do and come up with a amount we are both happy with
and I will gladly let her refi. I have no objections to her refi if there was a prior
agreement.

 

[Toyota]

And if I am sooooo wrong, give me some resolutions to this matter. I feel
the equity plus all other monies should come out of equity but she needs
to agree with me on that amount. So what's your suggestions since she
is unwilling to discuss it.

 

[LdiJ]

And if I am sooooo wrong, give me some resolutions to this matter. I feel
the equity plus all other monies should come out of equity but she needs
to agree with me on that amount. So what's your suggestions since she
is unwilling to discuss it.

I wouldn't be able to make any suggestions unless I knew exactly what your divorce decree says. However, you better not be insisting that she do something that contradicts your divorce decree. Otherwise, you would equally be in contempt and you would lose your leverage in court.

 

[Toyota]

The divorce says she is suppose to pay me the equity, pay all the credit card debt
pay 50% of all child care expenses for 3 children, before and after school, have 50-50
parenting plan which I have 85, she has 15 because of her unreliability of having her
children, she always has a reason for not being involved and I will not have my children
not knowing if there mother will show up or not, especaillly the weekends. I have had
them every weekend this summer except 2, and I really like having them, I think she
should compensate at least the before and after school care for the last 3 years, pay
off the credit card debt which does state in the divorce.

 

[LdiJ]

The divorce says she is suppose to pay me the equity, pay all the credit card debt
pay 50% of all child care expenses for 3 children, before and after school, have 50-50
parenting plan which I have 85, she has 15 because of her unreliability of having her
children, she always has a reason for not being involved and I will not have my children
not knowing if there mother will show up or not, especaillly the weekends. I have had
them every weekend this summer except 2, and I really like having them, I think she
should compensate at least the before and after school care for the last 3 years, pay
off the credit card debt which does state in the divorce.

But does it state that the credit card and daycare are to come out of the equity in the house? What does it state regarding what you are supposed to do in regards to the house? Has she been paying on the credit card debt?

You can't make demands that the divorce decree does not allow for. You can take her back to court for contempt for not paying what she is supposed to pay, but you don't have the option of making your own rules.

 

[Toyota]

The daycare just states each party is 50% responsibility. Someone has to pay it each week whether she does nor not....we would both be out of employment. No, she
has not paid anything on the credit card debt. The marital property was to be paid
twice yearly for 3 years. When we go back to court, I was thinking about this:
Pay me the equity, since you have made no attempt to pay, I was forced to rent for 3 yrs, unable to get a residence because of lack of money, poor credit, due to her, I was unable
to also acquire some equity in my residence if I could have brought a home, again because I lack the finances to buy because she has not paid in a timely fashion. So, while she is acquiring equity in the house we both own for 3 yrs, advantage of tax write off, which I was not able to have, failure to be responsible for before and after school care. Acquiring a loan with both of our names on it while in divorce process without my knowledge until I seen a judgement on the court record. Fairlure to restore some of my poor credit to a better credit. I will be forced to pay a higher interest rate on any big item I buy, auto, home, etc over many years because of her lack of paying off debt. There also is something about credit restoration when someone runins the credit of another. I have written documentation also on child care from her. I certified her a letter when the lst payment was due and her remark said "I'm not picking up the certified, I know it's from you" stating that I was due the equity payment. I think she broke the agreement when she failed to pay the equity as stated in divorce, in a timely fashion.
I have written notes that she was putting house on market a year ago May and would
split the equity with me. I told her I would even split the cost of repairs, closing costs, etc.
However, she did not follow through on it.

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to post this last item, and then give up, because you really don't get it.

Yes, she broke the agreement. However, she tried to honor it in the end by refinancing the house, and you, and only you are responsible for that failure.

You may file for contempt against her for not honoring the divorce decree. However you should expect the judge to not be particularly pleased with you either.

You could also sue her civilly for the damage she has done to you. However, I could not hazzard a guess as to whether or not you had any real chance of winning such a suit.

However...UNLESS a judge gives you a lien against the home, you can get nothing out of the home other than your share of the equity....PERIOD.

So, if you want to continue to be stubborn and ensure that you don't get your equity, because she won't agree to your demands therefore you won't let her refinance, then you are perfectly free to continue to cut off your nose to spite your face.

 

[Toyota]

Thanks for all of your advice, accusations, etc......I really don't know how much I put
into your advice, again I would like to hear from others....so goodby.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks for all of your advice, accusations, etc......I really don't know how much I put
into your advice, again I would like to hear from others....so goodby.

Ldij is telling you the truth even though you don't want to hear it. And I don't always with Ldij. However she is right. Ldij being right and your stubbornness and refusal to comprehend and accept anything except someonepatting them on the back is why others are not answering you.