requirement for after school practices

[xylene]

You've said a lot about what your daughter has told you about what the director and adminstration told HER...

What did the director and administration say to YOU when you voices YOUR concerns to them directly in one or more in person meetings?

Because you aren't going to get this addressed by 2nd hand info or phone calls.



Also - this is a blunt point: Is this a very competitive band? Is your daughter good enough? Football makes me puke and I have ZERO sympathy with the concept, but if this like a Big Deal in your community it really is possible the director might be trying to wash your daughter especially if she isn't super good or as good as an up and comer.

 

[stealth2]

Also - this is a blunt point: Is this a very competitive band? Is your daughter good enough? Football makes me puke and I have ZERO sympathy with the concept, but if this like a Big Deal in your community it really is possible the director might be trying to wash your daughter especially if she isn't super good or as good as an up and comer.

xylene makes a good point.

 

[band mom]

Did you ask your child why she feels Director "is out to get her"?

She says she doesn't know.

 

[band mom]

You've said a lot about what your daughter has told you about what the director and adminstration told HER...

What did the director and administration say to YOU when you voices YOUR concerns to them directly in one or more in person meetings?

Because you aren't going to get this addressed by 2nd hand info or phone calls.



Also - this is a blunt point: Is this a very competitive band? Is your daughter good enough? Football makes me puke and I have ZERO sympathy with the concept, but if this like a Big Deal in your community it really is possible the director might be trying to wash your daughter especially if she isn't super good or as good as an up and comer.

She has been fist chair since the 5th grade she is now a senior and has been last chair since this director came in at the beginning of the school year. She was also in the top 2 choices for drum major at end of last year then new director showed up and gave drum major to another student that was not one of the top two.

Administrative says that they will try to mend the relationship between student and director and that meetings would be set up. They also said they would talk to director about the issue and will talk to student about being a leader and a example for younger members. That was three months ago and none of what they have said has been done.

In fact first day back from Christmas break five min after bell rang she sent her to office saying that she was being mean to other students, she was not told by the office who, or what she supposedly done and was again told to be a leader. Two days later same thing as soon as bell rang she was again sent to office because she had supposedly be talking bad about the director to other students, again no information from the office about what was said or done. She was told that the principal would tear her transfer up and she could just go to another school. She was then told not to go to night rehearsal and not to go to band the next day and she sat in the office all of first hour, the principal was not there for the day.

There are more students that are having issues most all are seniors and some juniors , but not to the point that my daughter is. We started the year with 35 members we are now down to 19 members. This is first year to try to go to competitions.

 

[stealth2]

She has been fist chair since the 5th grade she is now a senior and has been last chair since this director came in at the beginning of the school year. She was also in the top 2 choices for drum major at end of last year then new director showed up and gave drum major to another student that was not one of the top two.

Administrative says that they will try to mend the relationship between student and director and that meetings would be set up. They also said they would talk to director about the issue and will talk to student about being a leader and a example for younger members. That was three months ago and none of what they have said has been done.

In fact first day back from Christmas break five min after bell rang she sent her to office saying that she was being mean to other students, she was not told by the office who, or what she supposedly done and was again told to be a leader. Two days later same thing as soon as bell rang she was again sent to office because she had supposedly be talking bad about the director to other students, again no information from the office about what was said or done. She was told that the principal would tear her transfer up and she could just go to another school. She was then told not to go to night rehearsal and not to go to band the next day and she sat in the office all of first hour, the principal was not there for the day.

There are more students that are having issues most all are seniors and some juniors , but not to the point that my daughter is. We started the year with 35 members we are now down to 19 members. This is first year to try to go to competitions.

Somehow, I suspect there is something going on that you are unaware of. And it very likely is involving your daughter not being the innocent you believe her to be. I'm not being mean - I had two teens myself, involved in several extracurriculars in HS, and I've seen all of the dynamics involved - from both sides. As parents, we always stand up for our kids, but sometimes, we have to take off the blinders and see their faults as well. And believe me - they have faults, as we all do. As much as I love my #2, I can tell you she is a tough girl. Do not ask her a question if you don't want a brutally honest answer. And it has taken her a long time - as well as being knocked down more than once by a few teachers and coaches - to learn to tone herself down.

My #1 is the complete opposite. Quiet, self-effacing, humble. Would go to any lengths to be kind - often to personal detriment. Had to take a different tack there...

 

[FlyingRon]

I was a band parent and have worked with bands in three states (albeit not Oklahoma). I can guarantee that if you sign up for any band, Marching can indeed be forced on you. The only exceptions were made for the kids who were in the varsity football team which essentially practices/plays at the same time.
Even the disabled students "marched." They worked the "pit" (essentially the percussion section that is too big to move).

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Has the possibility your daughter has been receiving favoritism all these years because she was friends with the old band director occurred and now she is not his/her favorite.

 

[band mom]

It wasn't a class - band is. And if she is in more than ome group - it is considered multiple classes. But really - this is nothing new.

Yes, missing any practice affects her grade and her school attendance no matter if she is there first hour band if she misses the night or morning practice she is counted absent from band for that school day.

No, she is not in multiple groups, this is just one group. 7-9:30 am then 3:00-9:00.

Yes other students have the same practice, no none of them has had to sit out for missing or being late.(except my student two times)

Update: five min. into band first day of semester student is sent to office complaint of bullying other students (no history in the 12 years of student ever having any type of problem) however, they do not know who, what was said or done, and the location keeps changing. Two days later again back in office now student talking bad about director, again they do not know who, what, where, or when action took place, and story of what actually happened keeps changing.
I had meeting with principal and again told there would be a meeting between principal, counselor, band director, and student. Principal ask repetitively that I do not attend that meeting. Meeting was canceled for several difference reasons four times (this is after it was supposed to have taken place over 4 mo. ago).
Student and counselor met and counselor said student wants to work it out, wants to stay in band and was very positive about having the meeting with the director that was scheduled for next day. Next day I was called to school for meeting but it was just principal, counselor, and student and principal kicked her out of band and said he just didn�t think the meeting was going to help.
I now have a 8 year band member kicked out of band in the second semester of her senior year.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

It is not the end of her life. Honest. It is a lesson in life.

 

[cbg]

Yanno, the OP never did answer my question.

 

[stealth2]

As disappointing as it may be, it is not the end of the world (as RoadKill posted). It is not at all likely going to affect her college aspirations. You can help her turn it around - more time to focus on other things in her life and enjoy her Senior year more fully. There are many opportunities post HS/college for participating with musical groups that are open to her.

 

[justalayman]

So the school administration has conspired to remove your child from band?

You should have escalated this to the school board when it was not resolved long ago. Now you have a couple choices; move on or go the the school board now.