Restraining order and attempts to contact

[mom6399]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

It's been a while since I've been here...and sad to be back, but thankful for the knowledge I have gained here!

I am the custodial parent with full legal custody. Ex has no visitation rights and there is a permanent restraining order prohibiting contact with the child and me. In the past few months ex has attempted 'indirect' contact with the child through websites and making charitable donations in the child's name (cards are sent from the organizations) after many, many years of no contact.

My attorney has sent a cease and desist request...yet another card arrived today.

What do I do? Clearly the attorney's letters have no power. If I communicate directly with the NCP, I will be in violation with the restraining order? The child is very upset, frightened these attempts and embarrassed by the content on the websites the NCP is creating in with the child's name and/or keyword search tags???

Are these violations of the NO CONTACT of the restraining order? What do I do to protect my kid?

Thank you.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

It's been a while since I've been here...and sad to be back, but thankful for the knowledge I have gained here!

I am the custodial parent with full legal custody. Ex has no visitation rights and there is a permanent restraining order prohibiting contact with the child and me. In the past few months ex has attempted 'indirect' contact with the child through websites and making charitable donations in the child's name (cards are sent from the organizations) after many, many years of no contact.

My attorney has sent a cease and desist request...yet another card arrived today.

What do I do? Clearly the attorney's letters have no power. If I communicate directly with the NCP, I will be in violation with the restraining order? The child is very upset, frightened these attempts and embarrassed by the content on the websites the NCP is creating in with the child's name and/or keyword search tags???

Are these violations of the NO CONTACT of the restraining order? What do I do to protect my kid?

Thank you.

I haven't read your post hx, so please bear that in mind.

I have a question though - why is the child aware of these websites? How did the child become aware of the contact?

(I'm sorry - I don't regularly google my own name or the names of my family members...is that a common thing?)

 

[st-kitts]

In the past few months ex has attempted 'indirect' contact with the child through websites and making charitable donations in the child's name (cards are sent from the organizations) after many, many years of no contact.

My attorney has sent a cease and desist request...yet another card arrived today.

What do I do? Clearly the attorney's letters have no power.

I don't see a violation of the RO. What is the harm in the charitable giving. Without reading your posting HX, I am not sure what your ex did to you/the child, but if it would be upsetting to the child you don't have to tell them about the mail. If they are getting the mail themselves, you are the parent, get a PO Box and don't let the child pick up your mail.

If I communicate directly with the NCP, I will be in violation with the restraining order? .

No, the petitioner is not restrained. Only the restrained party is barred from making contact. Of course, the restrained party can use attempts at contact by the protected party as "proof" the protected party is not fearful of the restrained party...

The child is very upset, frightened these attempts and embarrassed by the content on the websites the NCP is creating in with the child's name and/or keyword search tags???

How old is the child and how is the child learning of these messages on public websites? Where is the person posting?

Are these violations of the NO CONTACT of the restraining order? What do I do to protect my kid?

Thank you.

If the NCP is not attempting to contact you/the child himself or through third parties, and is making only general statements on public places, I doubt there are actionable violations. What did the police say when you spoke with them? Is your ex on parole or probation? Is this a criminal RO or a civil RO?

If your child isn't already in counseling, that would be a good start. If the child is in counseling, what does the counselor recommend?

 

[mom6399]

Thank you for your replies

The child is a pre-teen and gets the mail. It has been many, many years since the NCP has seen the child or made any direct attempt to contact the child through mail or other means, so these recent events have come out of the blue. The child googled their name and found the sites and immediately shared them with me.

On one of the sites there is a direct message to the child with the NCP's contact info. And no, their is nothing wrong with charitable giving, but it's being done in the child's name with gift cards coming 'from' the NCP through the organizations.

This is a civil RO. I have not spoken to the police, is this the best way to get this to stop? The NCP is out of state.

The child has been in counseling off and on for 8 years with the same therapist. Guess it's time to start up again

 

[mistoffolees]

The child is a pre-teen and gets the mail. It has been many, many years since the NCP has seen the child or made any direct attempt to contact the child through mail or other means, so these recent events have come out of the blue. The child googled their name and found the sites and immediately shared them with me.

On one of the sites there is a direct message to the child with the NCP's contact info. And no, their is nothing wrong with charitable giving, but it's being done in the child's name with gift cards coming 'from' the NCP through the organizations.

This is a civil RO. I have not spoken to the police, is this the best way to get this to stop? The NCP is out of state.

The child has been in counseling off and on for 8 years with the same therapist. Guess it's time to start up again

I really doubt if there's much you can do about it. It is just remotely possible that a judge might order ex to stop, but unlikely. And he will just find something else.

Seriously? Screen your mail. And teach your child to cope.

 

[Ohiogal]

Most Civil Protection Orders restrain from using third parties to contact the child which could result in criminal penalties. Therefore, this COULD be a breach. OP should inform the police regarding these cards, the CPO that is in effect and file a report.

 

[mom6399]

Thank you.

Ohiogal...thank you once again for your insightful advice. I will make a police report, if for nothing else than for there to be a record. Document, document, document.

Mistoffolees, yes from now on I will be screening my mail and only allow monitored google searches...the kid has not googled their name since as the discovery of the website with their name as the URL was so frightening! As I stated it's been years since there has been any attempt at contact. I suspect the recent activities are a result of the child's age and allowable voice in court.

We have both spent several years in counseling learning 'coping' skills with this situation. For a parent to lose custody, visitation rights, be issued a permanent RO, AND have a court recommendation for termination of parental rights, it can be assumed that this kid has had to cope with a lot. I'd hoped our last round in court had put an end to this kind of BS, but this sleeping dog always seems to stir and it's clear, and you are right...the NCP will find another way to do whatever they are trying to do

Thanks again for the replies. I do appreciate all of them.

 

[Proserpina]

Again, I haven't read your hx.

But another question


The COURT recommended TPR?

If that's the case, why hasn't it happened?

 

[mom6399]

Prosperina,

The recommendation was made by the family court judge in our last court appearance. TPR's are typically not handled by family court in my county? state?, and my attorney recommended a wait and see...that the visitation termination and RO might be enough to keep the NCP at bay. He also feared (for me) ongoing legal battles and fees if the family court ruled for a TPR and the NCP fought it. NCP did not show for court nor respond or contest the last court actions. It's been 3 years of silence from the NCP until recently.

From what I learned here, a TPR is not always best , but maybe it's time to push that family court recommendation? I really want to move on from this but really don't know the best action to take.

Thanks for asking the hard question...as to why. Maybe I should have just jumped at the chance to be free, for the child to be free of this ever present threat.

 

[Proserpina]

Prosperina,

The recommendation was made by the family court judge in our last court appearance. TPR's are typically not handled by family court in my county? state?, and my attorney recommended a wait and see...that the visitation termination and RO might be enough to keep the NCP at bay. He also feared (for me) ongoing legal battles and fees if the family court ruled for a TPR and the NCP fought it. NCP did not show for court nor respond or contest the last court actions. It's been 3 years of silence from the NCP until recently.

From what I learned here, a TPR is not always best , but maybe it's time to push that family court recommendation? I really want to move on from this but really don't know the best action to take.

Thanks for asking the hard question...as to why. Maybe I should have just jumped at the chance to be free, for the child to be free of this ever present threat.

Successfully prosecuting a legal stranger for unauthorized contact with your minor child - which is what he would be if his rights were terminated - is often markedly easier than prosecuting an actual parent for breaking the RO .

As things stand, he still has rights even if he can't see the child; this in and of itself allows him to petition to change things.

Talk to your attorney again. The "wait and see" has resulted in contact. It might be time to act.

 

[mom6399]

Prosperpina,

Thank you...I will call him first thing on Tuesday. I know he's out of the office for a long holiday weekend.

 

[Proserpina]

Prosperpina,

Thank you...I will call him first thing on Tuesday. I know he's out of the office for a long holiday weekend.

Him too, huh?

Darned long weekends.

Happy Holidays, Mom. No matter what happens