Restraining Order and Personal Record

[BlissfulMommy]

What is the name of your state? FL

My husband and I separated in September 2005 because he assaulted me and I threw him out the same evening. He kept coming to my apartment uninvited and let himself in a few times and after I lost my job because of him a few days later (he called my work 7 times in a 10 minute time period even though I told him that he couldn't call the office) I filed for a Restraining Order which was granted for one year, it expired in October 2006. I filed for divorce about 2 weeks ago but my ex won't sign the papers (I mailed them to him) until I get the Restraining Order - which, according to him, is "my fault" - removed from his personal record, he wants to start his life "with a clean slate". I didn't have him arrested for domestic violence back then (I know, I should have), so there is really no criminal record to expunge. It is just a civil matter and he says that the restraining order is preventing him from getting decent employment in California where he has been living for the past 8 months. I'm planning on having the divorce papers served to him next week so the 20 day period where he has to respond can start. Does anyone have any advice what else I should do?

 

[fairisfair]

have the papers served. Either by process server or the Sheriff, which ever is applicable.

 

[BlissfulMommy]

I talked to my ex on the phone yesterday and he told me that he was not able to get employment with the California Highway Patrol, the Police Department, the Coast Guard and the Army because of this Restraining Order on his record. Even if I have the divorce papers served to him, he can always respond, prolong the divorce proceedings and it would take years to get a divorce. He said that his record was 99% of his concern and the divorce is only 1% of his concern right now, he is in no hurry. I just want to get divorced from this guy.

 

[Gracie3787]

I talked to my ex on the phone yesterday and he told me that he was not able to get employment with the California Highway Patrol, the Police Department, the Coast Guard and the Army because of this Restraining Order on his record. Even if I have the divorce papers served to him, he can always respond, prolong the divorce proceedings and it would take years to get a divorce. He said that his record was 99% of his concern and the divorce is only 1% of his concern right now, he is in no hurry. I just want to get divorced from this guy.

It doesn't have to take years to get a divorce. Do the 2 of you have any marital property or children together? If you do, he might be able to stall a little, but ordinarily, even when there is property and children, a divorce should be finalized within 1 year.

IF there isn't any property or children a divorce, even contested, can be finalized very quickly.

 

[GrowUp!]

Even if I have the divorce papers served to him, he can always respond, prolong the divorce proceedings and it would take years to get a divorce. He said that his record was 99% of his concern and the divorce is only 1% of his concern right now, he is in no hurry. I just want to get divorced from this guy.

In addition to Gracie's advice...if he starts playing games in an attempt to prolong and add expense to the proceedings that are frivolous (and that's should be covered under your rules/statutes), then petition the court for sanctions against him and ask attorney's fees, court costs and other financial relief due to his actions.

 

[BlissfulMommy]

Thank you for responding !! We don't have any children or property together - Thank God ! He sent his Mom to my apartment right after he moved out and she picked up all the stuff that he didn't take the evening when I kicked him out. He left some paperwork in a filing cabinet, including the divorce decree from his first divorce. He mistreated his first wife as well and she had her lawyer put in the decree that he is restrained and prohibited from contacting her and harassing her. I don't think that she had any other form of restraining order against him but this shows me that he is a repeat offender. I don't think that I should be the one suffering from a prolonged divorce because of his actions. I just hope that he will not sign and send the divorce papers back to the court here in Florida within the 20 day period and that I can file a motion for default and get rid of this guy once and for all. I downloaded all necessary divorce forms from the internet and filled them out for him on my computer - I tried to make things easy for him when he originally agreed to sign the papers, since then he has come up with all kinds of excuses and demands and it makes me sick. Yesterday I decided to delete everything I filled out and leave all the blanks blank so he will have to fill everything out himself which he most likely won't do, he is extremely lazy LOL. I'm a true believer in Carma - what goes around comes around - and he has another thing coming

 

[atomicperm]

At this point, with the restraining order it will be impossible for him to pass a background check to purchase a firearm. This sounds like it is a very good thing. Even if you were to petition the court to clear his record, it would still show up on a background check by NICS. Please do not let this man talk you into attempting to do this. There is a reason people with restraining order and misdomenor domestic violence charges cannot legally purchase firearms.

 

[speedallurement]

First of all im curious with this whole subject and would like some more info.

1) Are you sure its a civil harrassment restraining order? A judged could have changed it to a domestic violence restraining order at the hearing.

2)It is my understanding that when the restraining order expires. That he can buy a gun. Am i wrong? Does he have to wait a certain amount of time after the restraining order is expired to buy a gun?

3) Being that he has two restraining orders. He will never get a job in law enforcement. This includes: police officer, probation officer, Border Patrol , Customs, Correctional officer, For these jobs he would have to have passed a extensive background investigation , done by the FBI, If they find out that he has a restraining order (wich they will couse that is on the permanent court record, and theres nothing you orhe can do to get it removed unless you prove to the court that you lied, then if you do that you might be faced with perjury charges, couse trials cost alot of money )they will question it to the full extent. If you made statements that he abused you ect. He will be deemed unsuitable for the job. I Know it must suck for him couse these are good jobs. But im sure there was a valid reason for you to put a restraining order on him.

All in all, you gave him payback.

 

[Rub4JC]

Can you file???

I want to know if you can file a restraining order againt a vice principal of a school in the state of Texas? This is very important for me to find out, because I don't want my son messed with at school by this man. If this can not be done, what legal actio can I take to make sure that he don't mess with my son in anyway while at school? I would appreciate any advice I can get. I have called the non emergency number to the local police, but they have yet to return my call. Thanks so much.

 

[speedallurement]

well u can file a complaint at the school
The school have their own restraining order system that is not legal tho
it would just state that principle can not come near ur kid
if u go to the court you can cost him his job or the judge might not even grant a restraining order
RESTRAINING ORDERS ARE NOT GRANTED ON CASES OF PARANIOA state the facts and maybe someone can help you.

 

[Ohiogal]

I want to know if you can file a restraining order againt a vice principal of a school in the state of Texas? This is very important for me to find out, because I don't want my son messed with at school by this man. If this can not be done, what legal actio can I take to make sure that he don't mess with my son in anyway while at school? I would appreciate any advice I can get. I have called the non emergency number to the local police, but they have yet to return my call. Thanks so much.

You can start your own thread rather than hijacking someone else's.

 

[Just Blue]

well u can file a complaint at the school
The school have their own restraining order system that is not legal tho
it would just state that principle can not come near ur kid
if u go to the court you can cost him his job or the judge might not even grant a restraining order
RESTRAINING ORDERS ARE NOT GRANTED ON CASES OF PARANIOA state the facts and maybe someone can help you.

Do not contribute to a hijacking of a thread...it's rude. Besides the poster is Kelly...a troll who posts stupid threads.

 

[BlissfulMommy]

First of all im curious with this whole subject and would like some more info.

1) Are you sure its a civil harrassment restraining order? A judged could have changed it to a domestic violence restraining order at the hearing.

Yes, it is a domestic violence restraining order because he assaulted me from behind, threw me on the ground and kicked me in the kidneys. I tried to have my back then 14 yr old daughter call the police but he threw her phone against the wall when she tried to call 911, so there was no police report on the assault. I went to the domestic violence department in our local court house and they issued a temporary restraining order, the court hearing was about 2 weeks later and it was converted to a 1 year permanent one - he actually signed it after the hearing - that was the last time I've seen him, October of 2005.

2)It is my understanding that when the restraining order expires. That he can buy a gun. Am i wrong? Does he have to wait a certain amount of time after the restraining order is expired to buy a gun?

I'm not sure about that. I really hope that he will never be able to buy and carry a gun. About a week ago we talked on the phone and he mentioned that "he should have killed us (my boyfriend and me) when he had the chance to". My boyfriend was our neighbor back then and he stood by my side when all of this happened because I was seriously afraid of my ex. We didn't have a relationship at the time of the assault, we started dating about 2 months after that. My ex is mentally totally unstable.

3) Being that he has two restraining orders. He will never get a job in law enforcement. This includes: police officer, probation officer, Border Patrol , Customs, Correctional officer, For these jobs he would have to have passed a extensive background investigation , done by the FBI, If they find out that he has a restraining order (wich they will couse that is on the permanent court record, and theres nothing you orhe can do to get it removed unless you prove to the court that you lied, then if you do that you might be faced with perjury charges, couse trials cost alot of money )they will question it to the full extent. If you made statements that he abused you ect. He will be deemed unsuitable for the job. I Know it must suck for him couse these are good jobs. But im sure there was a valid reason for you to put a restraining order on him.

My daughter was present and a witness when all of this happened. When I went and got the restraining order issued I gave a statement about what happened during the assault etc. and that was enough for them to issue a temporary restraining order and then the 1 year permanent one. Yes, it must suck for him but he brought all of this onto himself, yet he still blames me for everything. He is going to school to become a nurse (LOL) but the California hospitals won't employ him after he is done with the school - according to him, I'm not sure if he is telling the truth or not.

All in all, you gave him payback.

Yes, I did !! I'm a true believer in karma - what goes around comes around. By the way, he still refuses to sign the divorce papers - he says that it's my fault that he is unemployed and he has all the time in the world now to prolong the divorce, he still expects me to find out more information on how to get this restraining order removed from his record. I found out that even if it's removed from his record, it would still show up when agencies like the FBI would run a background check on him, it'll stay on his record FOREVER.

What he doesn't know yet is that I went ahead and contacted a local California process serving company, emailed 37 pages of divorce papers to them and he'll be served with the divorce papers within the next 72 hours

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

At this point, with the restraining order it will be impossible for him to pass a background check to purchase a firearm. This sounds like it is a very good thing. Even if you were to petition the court to clear his record, it would still show up on a background check by NICS. Please do not let this man talk you into attempting to do this. There is a reason people with restraining order and misdomenor domestic violence charges cannot legally purchase firearms.

The restraining order has expired, so the firearms provision has also expired. The problem the guy has is this a black mark when it comes to getting a security clearance.

 

[Just Blue]

What he doesn't know yet is that I went ahead and contacted a local California process serving company, emailed 37 pages of divorce papers to them and he'll be served with the divorce papers within the next 72 hours

Good for you...And as he is "prolonging" the divorce ...Try and have him have to pay for you attorneys fees!!