School attempting to "enforce" custody order.

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state? MD

Due to a recent change in my schedule, I have been picking up Little Miss Pro Se from school on Wednesdays(after class is over) for the past 4-5 weeks of school.

This past Wednesday, I was asked to speak to the school principal before we left. When I spoke with him, he said something along the lines of "the school board wants us to follow custody orders"(my current order states that I p/u and d/o at daycare), and then he wanted me to let LMPS go in the van to her after school program and pick her up there.

I informed him that that was NOT happening, and that she would be going with me. While we were talking, I got the impression that he was going to continue to be difficult about the situation but for the fact that the van left during that time.

Based on prior experience, I know that the school would have been fine with me showing up 5 minutes early and signing LMPS out.

How should I address this with the school/principal? As far as I can tell, the school has no/zippy/zilch/zero authority to enforce anything, but I want my ducks in a row before I talk to the principal.

 

[seniorjudge]

If at all possible, have ma and you both tell the school in writing that the arrangements are okay with both y'all.

Schools don't have any authority to enforce court orders; but they don't want a hassle from ma.

 

[fairisfair]

What is the name of your state? MD

Due to a recent change in my schedule, I have been picking up Little Miss Pro Se from school on Wednesdays(after class is over) for the past 4-5 weeks of school.

This past Wednesday, I was asked to speak to the school principal before we left. When I spoke with him, he said something along the lines of "the school board wants us to follow custody orders"(my current order states that I p/u and d/o at daycare), and then he wanted me to let LMPS go in the van to her after school program and pick her up there.

I informed him that that was NOT happening, and that she would be going with me. While we were talking, I got the impression that he was going to continue to be difficult about the situation but for the fact that the van left during that time.

Based on prior experience, I know that the school would have been fine with me showing up 5 minutes early and signing LMPS out.

How should I address this with the school/principal? As far as I can tell, the school has no/zippy/zilch/zero authority to enforce anything, but I want my ducks in a row before I talk to the principal.

I definitely see your point, and no the school has no right, or obligation for that matter to enforce court orders.

However, look at it from their point. you are saying you are supposed to pick up little miss pro se, but what if you don't? then what? she has missed her bus, mom is not there? what the hell??? You can't blame them for wanting to know exactly where each child is directed to go for transportation home and to follow those directives.

Listen to SJ, get mom and put something in writing to the school. and THEN if they still give you crap, pull the you have no legal authority card.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I'm not blaming them for wanting to know where she was, but seeing as this was the fifth or sixth time I've done it, where was this monitoring before this week?

I speak every Wednesday with the van driver. That's where I am when LMPS comes out of school. He(and she is as well) is aware that if I'm not there before school gets out, she goes to the program on the van.

Part of my problem is that whenever somebody says to me "it's not singleing your case out", it usually IS...

And I plan on sending an email to the principal laying out when I'll be picking her up. "Ma" doesn't want to "get involved"...(insert headbashing smiley here)

 

[seniorjudge]

I'm not blaming them for wanting to know where she was, but seeing as this was the fifth or sixth time I've done it, where was this monitoring before this week?

I speak every Wednesday with the van driver. That's where I am when LMPS comes out of school. He(and she is as well) is aware that if I'm not there before school gets out, she goes to the program on the van.

Part of my problem is that whenever somebody says to me "it's not singleing your case out", it usually IS...

And I plan on sending an email to the principal laying out when I'll be picking her up. "Ma" doesn't want to "get involved"...(insert headbashing smiley here)

Then following our advice will help you.

 

[majomom1]

I'm not blaming them for wanting to know where she was, but seeing as this was the fifth or sixth time I've done it, where was this monitoring before this week?

I speak every Wednesday with the van driver. That's where I am when LMPS comes out of school. He(and she is as well) is aware that if I'm not there before school gets out, she goes to the program on the van.

Part of my problem is that whenever somebody says to me "it's not singleing your case out", it usually IS...

And I plan on sending an email to the principal laying out when I'll be picking her up. "Ma" doesn't want to "get involved"...(insert headbashing smiley here)

I agree with the others here. More than likely the first few times they thought it was a "special" day or something. They do have variances sometimes, BUT, when it continued they possibly got concerned and just need the paper work updated so that they have all their ducks in a row.

They have a lot of kids. Imagine it from their side: say you don't make it to pick her up on time - she's not at the school, or at daycare. The school would think she was with you (maybe you just forgot to sign her out) - the daycare would think you picked her up and would not look for her to be on the bus.

I know that scenario probably won't happen - but the school needs to have documentation for ALL kids. If there is a permanent or long term deviation from that, it needs to be updated so that they have accurate info on file. They can be held liable. Don't get upset. They are looking out for the safety of your daughter.

 

[Ohiogal]

Quite frankly they have no rights to the court order. They have no right to interfere with dad picking up the child. Unless there is a restraining order prohibiting it. If dad is there to sign the child out then they cannot prohibit it.

 

[wileybunch]

How does the school know who any child goes with on any given day? Our elementary schools only let the kindergartners leave from behind the K gate when they point to the person they recognize and teacher eyeballs the person. After that grade level, bell rings, kids disperse in 50 different directions. When I picked my kids up at school, we had a contingency plan just in case I didn't get there in time which is what you're doing with your DD (if you're not there, she gets on daycare van). I can't figure out how it is that the school even became involved in the nitty gritty details. Mom said she didn't want to get involved, but wouldn't it have been Mom that involved them in the first place?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

The school has copies of the orders for both Little Miss Pro Se and her L'il Sis, per The Ex they were requested from her by the school.

Like I said, for the last 4 or 5 weeks of school, nobody but the van driver even paid me any attention.

 

[terp]

I am in MD too.

When I enrolled our son in K this year, they asked if there were custody papers. I had to provide them copies, etc....In fact, in every program, daycare/school, administration always asked for copies and they noted who was residential and legal custodian.

Now I know for a fact that when the bell rings at the end of the day. All the students disperse quickly and they are gone but for the ones that are in the Open Door (after school program), they do keep track of them and only release them to adults on the permission sheet. The school is pretty much on a lock down and you need to get buzzed in.

ProSeDad...could it be that they are being more careful because of the recent abductions, murders etc...that have been all over the news lately and always seem to involve kids from split-up parents?

 

[Perky]

I think (not sure) that once your daughter gets on the daycare-owned van, she becomes the responsibility of the daycare. If the driver allows you to take her off the van, then the school should have no concerns. Since you wait for her at the van, there would be no reason to provide your calendar for picking her up at school.

Check with the principal first if you think this would work for you. Seems like an easy solution for the principal too, if my assumption is correct.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Got a response...

...to the email I sent to the principal(which was cc'd to The Ex).

Not a problem to pick her up at the end of the day at school . Please come into the office to sign her out if she is not going to take the van. The sign out book is on the counter in the main office.

My question for him today when I go is "Since I don't get her untill she is already released from class, why do I need to sign her out?"

Or am I just being argumentative?

 

[waitinMd]

I am a substitute for Harford County and I have parents pick their children up outside. Policy is to sign them out. It is the schools responsibility to know where the child went/is.

 

[fairisfair]

...to the email I sent to the principal(which was cc'd to The Ex).



My question for him today when I go is "Since I don't get her untill she is already released from class, why do I need to sign her out?"

Or am I just being argumentative?

You are just being argumentative. Stop it. and be glad that the school seems so intent on protecting her.

dfg

 

[haiku]

in my kids school, you pick up your kid regularly every day, you still sign the book before you leave....