School spring break and dads birthday

[MichaCA]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Hi,

I have our daughter for part of easter/school break. During this time period is also dads' bday which is a 24 hour period of time. Fine overall. However this year I have the chance to take daughter with a girlfriend and her two girls who are good friends with our daughter...it would be a blast...and the first time I have been in a position to take daughter on a trip up to the snow, snow boarding, etc..for a few days.

Does spring break trump a parents birthday time with child? Both times are spelled out in our court order (the 24 hour birthday thing is not...something dad requested via email a couple of years ago and I agreed), however there is no mention in our order of "priority" stuff...

three years ago I took my two week summer vacation with daughter on a family reunion beach trip...it interfered with fathers day...so I gave dad several days to make that up...should I have done that?

Thank you, you gals and guys help soooo much. MichaCA

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Hi,

I have our daughter for part of easter/school break. During this time period is also dads' bday which is a 24 hour period of time. Fine overall. However this year I have the chance to take daughter with a girlfriend and her two girls who are good friends with our daughter...it would be a blast...and the first time I have been in a position to take daughter on a trip up to the snow, snow boarding, etc..for a few days.

Does spring break trump a parents birthday time with child? Both times are spelled out in our court order (the 24 hour birthday thing is not...something dad requested via email a couple of years ago and I agreed), however there is no mention in our order of "priority" stuff...

three years ago I took my two week summer vacation with daughter on a family reunion beach trip...it interfered with fathers day...so I gave dad several days to make that up...should I have done that?

Thank you, you gals and guys help soooo much. MichaCA

personally, i really feel parent birthday override holidays. i'd ask dad if he would be willing to do a make up time. maybe even throw in an extra weekend.

 

[MichaCA]

Thank you Isabella,

Frankly, if its not 'legal' for me to over-ride his birthday, I won't take her on the trip. Its not worth it, with this particular dad, to try and negotiate something separate, extra weekend or not...he would say no.

Thanks for the response. Micha

 

[2Mistakes]

personally, i really feel parent birthday override holidays. i'd ask dad if he would be willing to do a make up time. maybe even throw in an extra weekend.

Then you must not be old yet.

Once you start nearing 40, your birthday is just any other day.

I used to make a big deal about wanting the kids for my b'day.

Now? Eh, who cares.

Except for every four years. My b'day is leap year.

 

[Isis1]

Then you must not be old yet.

Once you start nearing 40, your birthday is just any other day.

I used to make a big deal about wanting the kids for my b'day.

Now? Eh, who cares.

Except for every four years. My b'day is leap year.

i'm not saying for me....since i'm 31...i can always celebrate with my kids on another day. i know i'll live. besides, if i didn't have the kids....i can do what I want.

but i wouldn't ever plan something on the NCP's day. in my mind, NCP's days don't exist for me to make plans on.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Since CA has all those self-help centers, might they have a list of what dates take priority? Thinking cheat sheet here.

 

[MichaCA]

Thanks, good idea to check out the self help stuff in CA...that aspect of CA is new to me, and will need to figure out where/when/how...but I am at the place of wanting to file a motion soon, and need to go prose, so I better get on the ball.

I agree about the bdays...for me, I'd just as soon it go with the standard cards from some family, little special time with child (on whatever day), done.

Funny, completely outside of this trip idea (which daughter has NO idea of) SHE asked me the other day to ask the next time dad and I go to court, that she prefers not to celebrate our birthdays with us as a special day!!!!! I guess she gets tired of the back and forth, and yes, she does know about court as I have been taken to court at least 25 times in past 9 years...so she kind of got a clue at some point that courts run her life more than her parents. Sad.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Well, MichaCA - you've got me beat. My trips slowed down when I put distance between us.

 

[jbowman]

SHE asked me the other day to ask the next time dad and I go to court, that she prefers not to celebrate our birthdays with us as a special day!!!!! I guess she gets tired of the back and forth, .

Jeesh, 2 days a year? Come on. Personally I dont care about my birthday at all but if dad did then his feelings would be respected. No court should change that.

 

[MichaCA]

Hi jbowmen,

Wasn't trying to imply I would, will whatever ask the courts for daughter...she just put it out there. It was interesting as a parent just to get a hit of where her perspective is, thats all. I know its something the courts would not consider, its pretty standard (outside of the 24 hour thing, which I did agree to for dad).

 

[stealth2]

SHE asked me the other day to ask the next time dad and I go to court, that she prefers not to celebrate our birthdays with us as a special day!!!!!

Personally, my response to *that* would be "fine, sweetheart. I guess that means it's okay if Dad and I prefer not to celebrate *your* birthday with us as a special day, either."

 

[proud_parent]

Personally, my response to *that* would be "fine, sweetheart. I guess that means it's okay if Dad and I prefer not to celebrate *your* birthday with us as a special day, either."

Harrumph. My response would have been, "Once you turn 18, you may decide whether you wish to celebrate our birthdays with us. Until then, your Dad and I will decide."

 

[jbowman]

Agreed Stealth and Proud. Man, kids are freaking spoiled brats (no offense, MichCA). I am seriously WAITING for my child to say some off the wall stuff to me. I cant wait to Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka him from the top ropes.

 

[wileybunch]

I cant wait to Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka him from the top ropes.

And, if you pronounced that "Supa-fly", I'm dying laughing here!

On the one hand, I think it's simply redonkulous what a big deal some adults make of their birthdays. THANK GOODNESS DH isn't like that. But, then, it would be a boundary issue if Mom didn't respect Dad's right to celebrate his b'day on his b'day if that's their agreement. But, it does stink that it falls during the other parent's spring break time.

MichCA, can you not ask Dad if he would have a problem that you all do Spring Break plans even though that means DD won't be there on his birthday itself?

 

[LdiJ]

And, if you pronounced that "Supa-fly", I'm dying laughing here!

On the one hand, I think it's simply redonkulous what a big deal some adults make of their birthdays. THANK GOODNESS DH isn't like that. But, then, it would be a boundary issue if Mom didn't respect Dad's right to celebrate his b'day on his b'day if that's their agreement. But, it does stink that it falls during the other parent's spring break time.

MichCA, can you not ask Dad if he would have a problem that you all do Spring Break plans even though that means DD won't be there on his birthday itself?

I personally think that holidays should override birthdays. Why? because if a parent's birthday coincides with a holiday then its ALWAYS going to be a problem...forever.

My daughter's birthday is Christmas Eve. If she and my granddaughter's father ever get to the point where visitation is a reality, then it would be incredibly unfair for her birthday to always trump any normal Christmas Holiday timeshare.

In fact, when my daughter was young, we traditionally celebrated her birthday on a Saturday before the Christmas holiday, anyway, so that her birthday didn't get lost/become an afterthought in the shuffle of the holiday.