Thats whats happened partly, is its not always an issue...the bummer at this particular spring break and coinciding birthday is that this is the first time I will have extended time (besides a weekend) with daughter in over a year.
Thats a mixed message...I do have the two weeks summer vacation with her every year (so I DO have extended time with her then too). Every year its the east coast...14 hour trip one way...and family, family, family. I am very close to my dad, love my sisters and nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, old friends... but mainly go for my dad, (and the same values I subscribe to daughter...of course its important for her to know family and she gets a lot of love, but no kids). The down side is there really isn't down time...we dont' take 'fun' trips, vacations...
I plan to work harder on planning one or two fun weekend trips a year...take a three day weekend or something. I FINALLY found a mom/friend where the kids are good friends, that has a similar visitation schedule as me....
To answer a question...no, dad will not agree to any changes. I promise you, he wouldn't. I have been having to deal with him a lot the past few weeks over changing daughters school and EVERYTHING has to be his way or no way. And when I suggest something, trust me, he will make a contrary decision. For the first time I am fantasizing...only 8 more years of this!
Micha
PS. I suppose I dissent a bit, perhaps it is crapistic parenting, or looks like it...that daughter runs these things by me. The fact is is I like her sharing her thoughts with me. She is very open with me about everything, so far...she didn't have a fit, she didn't make her comment with expectations...she just made it. I suppose my defense is I don't view that as spoiled behavior. I feel empathy for her. I think kids, especially as they get older deserve some voice in their lives...
In saying that, around the birthdays I am not saying I would agree with her on that issue. I think the message I get is she gets sick of every single 'special occasion' according to her parents, she has to shuffle, and she gets sick of it. As far as HER birthday, we all know as parents that kids have to adjust to that too...if its a school day, etc. Their birthday often gets put on a weekend. Daughter is waiting on her birthday sleepover with a friend over spring break as thats the only time it could be arranged, period. She's fine with it. Thats one month after the fact.
We alternate every humanly possible holiday there is in the book, per dads' request. The kids get shuffled a lot. If they whine or complain, does that make them spoiled? I think not. If they stomp their feet and demand, carry out a sulk, etc...then perhaps that would be spoiled behavior. Thanks for listening to my vent.
