school time

[mommyto 2]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I have a strictly legal question ~ If the father's visitation schedule gives specfic times that do not include school hours, is it the primary custodial parents time during these school hours?

 

[Zephyr]

if ncp time is specifically outlined, the rest is cp time

 

[mommyto 2]

That's what I thought ~ Thanks

 

[mommyto 2]

Kinda on the same topic - any suggestions on how to handle when stepmother shows up at a school function and holds "court" with child's teacher? I have a problem with this since I am there and have primary custody of my children. Ex is also there and says nothing.

 

[CJane]

Kinda on the same topic - any suggestions on how to handle when stepmother shows up at a school function and holds "court" with child's teacher? I have a problem with this since I am there and have primary custody of my children. Ex is also there and says nothing.

Tips? Handle it gracefully. Speak to the teacher privately later if you need to. Or, extremely politely walk up and join their conversation. Ask the teacher if you can speak to her privately. Whatever you do, do NOT confront SMom at the school. (And I think it lacks class to do so later)

 

[Zephyr]

Kinda on the same topic - any suggestions on how to handle when stepmother shows up at a school function and holds "court" with child's teacher? I have a problem with this since I am there and have primary custody of my children. Ex is also there and says nothing.

not much you can do about that, except as I have said before maybe politely ask your ex, to muzzle his dog, not that it will work but you really have no legal recourse

 

[Zephyr]

CJane- you're no fun!!!!

 

[CJane]

CJane- you're no fun!!!!

I know, it's a curse.

I'm also blessed because the ex rarely attends school functions of any sort, and his wife has only attended one, at which the kids glommed onto me and she was left to stand there talking to friends from church while I talked to the teachers and parents of my children's friends.

 

[mommyto 2]

Okay I am going with the muzzling suggestion. Just kidding - but God it is such a ggod thought. I did walk away and I do not confront step ever, she is not worth the energy. I will have to speak to the teacher. I do not join in on conversations when she is present. I have tried this in the past but she made very inappropriate comments to the other person about me. I did not say anything other then she was behaving inappropriately. I am trurely at my wits end with dealing with her and my ex.

 

[CJane]

Okay I am going with the muzzling suggestion. Just kidding - but God it is such a ggod thought. I did walk away and I do not confront step ever, she is not worth the energy. I will have to speak to the teacher. I do not join in on conversations when she is present. I have tried this in the past but she made very inappropriate comments to the other person about me. I did not say anything other then she was behaving inappropriately. I am trurely at my wits end with dealing with her and my ex.

If she's willing to make inappropriate comments about you, in your presence, to the teacher of your children... let her. How many times do you think she'd have to do that before the teacher lost all respect for her?

Look at it this way. Always behave with class. Always take the high road. Defend yourself gracefully. Make everyone wonder why in the hell your ex traded down.

 

[mommyto 2]

CJane,
I do my best to remain classy but I would love to run them down with my car. Everyone has dreams! I have never though lost my temper with them in public and I only talk to ex via e-mail, I do not respond to step.

 

[CJane]

Everyone has dreams!

I'm not sayin a girl can't dream.

I'm pretty lucky in that the kids attend school in a small community. I know most of the teachers/parents/administrators not only from the school, but from local sports, vet calls, giving riding lessons to their kids, the library, etc. The new wife is a newcomer. People don't know who she is yet, unless they're from the church, and she isn't allowed 'in'. The teachers defer to me over the ex or the step in EVERY case.

I'm very close friends with the school psychologist, we fox hunt together in the winter. She knows my kids quite well from social functions related to that. She also knows the ex quite well, from before, during and after the divorce. She's not fooled by his charm, and lately no one else seems to be either.

 

[mommyto 2]

CJane,
Can I come and live with you. I love horses - even know how to muck out stalls. Maybe my ex won't find me. I need to bring the kids too.
Sorry it has been a long 24 hours and I really do feel like running away with my kids (I won't of course) but last night was a real kicker, her acting like she was the one who takes care of my son, I wanted to kick her in the a**.

 

[enidora]

There is nothing worse than the ex's significant other acting like she is their real mother. especialy when the 2 have been together for the less that a year. Comming in to a childs life at age 3 for like 4 days a month doesn't make you a parent. (that was then...untill my exmoved away) I refused to deal with her. She had no children was 21 years old and was comming to drop them off with parenting advice. I was floored like the kids need to brush their teeth more. It's like Your not here in the mornings and at bed time, how in the heck do you know what their hygine routine is? Also she was the one at that time to step in and make all the visitation demands and even went so far as to put on her yahoo profile that my ex and her were raising their 2 children and had a picture of them on there. It was bizare

to make it worse I asked them not to cut my daughters hair and everytime they got her she'd come back with a hack job. I wanted it to be my daughter desicion wether she wanted her hair cut when she was old enough. It was too short of little pigs tails. Also they would chop her bangs so far back in to her hair that half of her hair was realy realy short almost gothic looking bangs.

 

[enidora]

Speaking of that I wonder can I have something added to a custody order that woukd prohibit them from cutting her hair without my consent?