Several Issues From Today...

[CJane]

Told you he'd eventuall unravel...he definately needs some time in an 'I Love Me' jacket and perhaps a padded room

Definately go to the Principal~ I'm having issues with the authenticity of the 'letter' myself...it's uncommon for teachers to get involved to that extent (beyond a conference, etc.)

Coincidentally enough, I spoke with the principal just a minute ago. She is VERY interested in finding out what's going on as she and the teacher spoke just yesterday about Unruly and Mrs. N (teacher) told Mrs. H (principal) that she'd received the intake form for the psychologist and wanted to make sure that she'd filled it out completely (I provided her with this form) - she never mentioned a letter to my ex.

I told Mrs. H that the letter had mentioned how concerned the teacher was about the pants wetting. Mrs H said "we talked about this last year when you called. Mrs N said then that there were NO concerns at all." I agreed that's what was SAID but that this letter contradicts that.

So, she's going to speak with the teacher and get back to me today. She's equally concerned that the letter is less than authentic and that it IS authentic and the teacher is being sucked into the drama.

I told her about Stupidhead calling DSS on me and that he's trying to use these things as evidence of abuse and that makes it even more crucial that ALL communication w/us be open, honest and equal. She agreed wholeheartedly.

So, I await the phone call.

Interestingly though...

Fraudulent or not, this letter is the ONLY piece of 'evidence' that indicates a teacher's concern about Unruly's behavior or development. None of the 'official' communications from the school reflect that. So, Stupidhead HAS to submit it as evidence or he HAS to admit that my evidence that she's completely normal is valid. He's in a corner on this one, I think.

Also, he's in contempt (duh) AGAIN w/this letter as it's (allegedly) communication from the teacher or school and guess who was not provided with a copy per the order?

 

[casa]

Coincidentally enough, I spoke with the principal just a minute ago. She is VERY interested in finding out what's going on as she and the teacher spoke just yesterday about Unruly and Mrs. N (teacher) told Mrs. H (principal) that she'd received the intake form for the psychologist and wanted to make sure that she'd filled it out completely (I provided her with this form) - she never mentioned a letter to my ex.

I told Mrs. H that the letter had mentioned how concerned the teacher was about the pants wetting. Mrs H said "we talked about this last year when you called. Mrs N said then that there were NO concerns at all." I agreed that's what was SAID but that this letter contradicts that.

So, she's going to speak with the teacher and get back to me today. She's equally concerned that the letter is less than authentic and that it IS authentic and the teacher is being sucked into the drama.

I told her about Stupidhead calling DSS on me and that he's trying to use these things as evidence of abuse and that makes it even more crucial that ALL communication w/us be open, honest and equal. She agreed wholeheartedly.

So, I await the phone call.

Interestingly though...

Fraudulent or not, this letter is the ONLY piece of 'evidence' that indicates a teacher's concern about Unruly's behavior or development. None of the 'official' communications from the school reflect that. So, Stupidhead HAS to submit it as evidence or he HAS to admit that my evidence that she's completely normal is valid. He's in a corner on this one, I think.

Also, he's in contempt (duh) AGAIN w/this letter as it's (allegedly) communication from the teacher or school and guess who was not provided with a copy per the order?

I doubt the letter is genuine, I have never seen a teacher break School policy (which is to not get involved in family matters beyond mandated reporting) a letter of this type, would typically come from a meeting notes from school psychologist, teacher & principal all together.

Nutty people make mistakes...oh the forgeries my NuttyX tried to pull off in court.

He's burying himself Cjane. I see you at some point in the future with Sole Legal Custody.

 

[CJane]

I doubt the letter is genuine, I have never seen a teacher break School policy (which is to not get involved in family matters beyond mandated reporting) a letter of this type, would typically come from a meeting notes from school psychologist, teacher & principal all together.

Well, that's interesting too because the school psychologist is a VERY good friend of mine and has never once had any professional dealings with this child. Or either of my children.

Nutty people make mistakes...oh the forgeries my NuttyX tried to pull off in court.

Really? In court? Gawd. I'm terrified even to think bad thoughts inside the courthouse. I can't imagine being anything less than 100% honest in there - much to my attorney's chagrin. She actually said to me... "When they say 'the whole truth' they don't really mean it."

He's burying himself Cjane. I see you at some point in the future with Sole Legal Custody.

I know. Zephyr's crystal ball said the same yesterday.

So when do I stop feeling like the bad guy?

 

[casa]

Well, that's interesting too because the school psychologist is a VERY good friend of mine and has never once had any professional dealings with this child. Or either of my children.



Really? In court? Gawd. I'm terrified even to think bad thoughts inside the courthouse. I can't imagine being anything less than 100% honest in there - much to my attorney's chagrin. She actually said to me... "When they say 'the whole truth' they don't really mean it."



I know. Zephyr's crystal ball said the same yesterday.

So when do I stop feeling like the bad guy?

Yes, when schools are concerned about a child's emotional state or academic situation, they typically hold a meeting with the resource counselor, school psych., teacher & Principal and make a copy of the recommendations/outcome which is then in the file and provided to both parents. Schools can't afford to have teacher's testifying and out of class etc, etc....they need them to be teaching.

Oh yeah, my NuttyX can't return to Family Court unless I am "deceased or incarcerated". He actually forged affidavits My attorney & I noticed they all had the same 'writing style', punctuation, etc. It was like FA's "kelly alert"

You'll stop feeling like the bad guy when you realize that you just have to live your own life...and stop feeding into any guilt the X continues to try to place on you. I think of my NuttyX as a broken person, and can feel pity for him, but not much else. He makes his decisions just as I make mine. I'm not accountable for him. You aren't accountable for yours, either.

 

[Just Blue]

So when do I stop feeling like the bad guy?

Soon...Repeat after me...He brought this on himself.....he brought this on himself....He brought this on himself....

Do this chant everyday for a week...

 

[CJane]

Ok.. the letter IS authentic. It's coming home on Friday when I have the girls again.

Mrs N, Ms. A (school secretary), Mrs. N2 (new teacher) and Mrs. K (school psych) have all been informed that communications of that nature are absolutely unacceptable. Ex is now on a 'watch list'. ALL communications he has with any staff/faculty member at the school will be recorded in Unruly's file. EVERY SINGLE piece of paper that is sent in by either of us will be kept in the child's file. There is now a notice in the office that ANYTHING that is sent to one parent is sent to both. This is to include anything from reminders about overdue books to lunch money accounts to grade cards.

I'm going to take up a copy of our court order on Friday with the pertinent information highlighted.

Also, after Mrs. H read the letter she asked Mrs. N about it because it DOES indicate very clearly that there was NO improvement at all in Unruly's effective use of time and paying attention in class. Mrs N said "I know it seems to say that. But she DID improve a lot over the course of the year. I just meant it to say that improvement was still needed."

She also said she can remember 3 accidents last year and that to HER 3 accidents in a whole year for a first grader was not something to be concerned about. That she was 'reacting to Stupidhead's concerns' and not voicing her own. But she said that she'd called SMom every time and been assured that the problem was being addressed and I was being kept in the loop.

I told Mrs. H that SMom volunteered in the classroom last year and I fully expected her to do the same this year and that I knew there was nothing I could do about that, and I didn't expect HER to do anything either, but that I felt it was important for her to know that there have been serious issues with SMom undermining me w/the school and doctors and that she'd been reprimanded by the courts. I then said that regardless of the issues between Walt and I, WE are those kids only 2 parents and NOT ONE decision can be made by a stranger even if that stranger happens to be married to one of their parents.

She agreed. Said that all phone calls from SMom would also be logged.

 

[casa]

Ok.. the letter IS authentic. It's coming home on Friday when I have the girls again.

Mrs N, Ms. A (school secretary), Mrs. N2 (new teacher) and Mrs. K (school psych) have all been informed that communications of that nature are absolutely unacceptable. Ex is now on a 'watch list'. ALL communications he has with any staff/faculty member at the school will be recorded in Unruly's file. EVERY SINGLE piece of paper that is sent in by either of us will be kept in the child's file. There is now a notice in the office that ANYTHING that is sent to one parent is sent to both. This is to include anything from reminders about overdue books to lunch money accounts to grade cards.

I'm going to take up a copy of our court order on Friday with the pertinent information highlighted.

Also, after Mrs. H read the letter she asked Mrs. N about it because it DOES indicate very clearly that there was NO improvement at all in Unruly's effective use of time and paying attention in class. Mrs N said "I know it seems to say that. But she DID improve a lot over the course of the year. I just meant it to say that improvement was still needed."

She also said she can remember 3 accidents last year and that to HER 3 accidents in a whole year for a first grader was not something to be concerned about. That she was 'reacting to Stupidhead's concerns' and not voicing her own. But she said that she'd called SMom every time and been assured that the problem was being addressed and I was being kept in the loop.

I told Mrs. H that SMom volunteered in the classroom last year and I fully expected her to do the same this year and that I knew there was nothing I could do about that, and I didn't expect HER to do anything either, but that I felt it was important for her to know that there have been serious issues with SMom undermining me w/the school and doctors and that she'd been reprimanded by the courts. I then said that regardless of the issues between Walt and I, WE are those kids only 2 parents and NOT ONE decision can be made by a stranger even if that stranger happens to be married to one of their parents.

She agreed. Said that all phone calls from SMom would also be logged.

O. M. G. Someone got an earful at that school today. I hope unruly doesn't have that same teacher this year. I wonder if the teacher knows that that letter opens the door to her being subpoena' and missing her own classes. Not that you are going to do that...IN fact, I think the contradiction between that letter & the report card/conference is, 'interesting' to say the least.

 

[CJane]

O. M. G. Someone got an earful at that school today. I hope unruly doesn't have that same teacher this year. I wonder if the teacher knows that that letter opens the door to her being subpoena' and missing her own classes. Not that you are going to do that...IN fact, I think the contradiction between that letter & the report card/conference is, 'interesting' to say the least.

Yeah, I think it's 'interesting' as well. Just don't know if there's anything I can DO about it.

Here's what I think I might do though...

I'm seriously considering only going back to work part time when the unemployment runs out...

This would allow me to

1) Join the PTA. I'm NOT a joiner, but if I sign up, SMom won't. And really, can't because of the restraining orders.

2) Volunteer to be a room mother. Again, not going to decrease the anxiety in my life, but will negate SMom's involvement in the school.

Also, I think I'll get in touch with the school psychologist. SHE can meet with Unruly, Unruly's current teacher, and the school counselor NOW to develop a plan for success based on last year's concerns, yes?

 

[casa]

Yeah, I think it's 'interesting' as well. Just don't know if there's anything I can DO about it.

Here's what I think I might do though...

I'm seriously considering only going back to work part time when the unemployment runs out...

This would allow me to

1) Join the PTA. I'm NOT a joiner, but if I sign up, SMom won't. And really, can't because of the restraining orders.

2) Volunteer to be a room mother. Again, not going to decrease the anxiety in my life, but will negate SMom's involvement in the school.

Also, I think I'll get in touch with the school psychologist. SHE can meet with Unruly, Unruly's current teacher, and the school counselor NOW to develop a plan for success based on last year's concerns, yes?

I would talk to the new teacher, explain the communcation 'issues' with last year's teacher and ask that she let you know if she has any concerns THIS year. Let her know you are open to a meeting with the school counselor, her, Principal if that is the case. I would NOT recommend a meeting right now, since it's probable there are no real concerns at all. It'll be even more obvious what X was trying to pull when THIS year's teacher doesn't have any concerns.

 

[CJane]

I picked up a copy of the letter this afternoon, dropped of a copy of our court order, and picked up the intake form for the psychologist.

I also spoke with my friend the school psychologist and the principal. I think we're all 'on the same page' so to speak. Thank goodness.

Tuesday is back to school night. I'll make sure I attend and spend time getting to know the new teacher. I guess I've gotta figure out how to put all of the anxiety of being around other human beings aside, huh? Bleh.

 

[casa]

I picked up a copy of the letter this afternoon, dropped of a copy of our court order, and picked up the intake form for the psychologist.

I also spoke with my friend the school psychologist and the principal. I think we're all 'on the same page' so to speak. Thank goodness.

Tuesday is back to school night. I'll make sure I attend and spend time getting to know the new teacher. I guess I've gotta figure out how to put all of the anxiety of being around other human beings aside, huh? Bleh.

Oh Joy...I recommend chewing gum. Keeps your mouth busy & gives you something to focus on.