Should BioF get overnight visits

[Zigner]

Maybe he doesn't like you either.

I think you hit the nail on the head with THAT!

 

[Corruptj]

I think you hit the nail on the head with THAT!

Don't have to make things personal here. Just looking for some intelligent advice.
He knows what I am and I know what he is. We will work through our differences. Regardless, though, just wanted to know if it was reasonable for babies so young to be away from one parent for so long after being with just one parent for most of the time. If you read as much as I do, therapists think probably 75% against this and 25% for this. Legally, it is about 60/40 against. Some states more liberal than others I guess.

 

[Silverplum]

Don't have to make things personal here. Just looking for some intelligent advice.
He knows what I am and I know what he is. We will work through our differences. Regardless, though, just wanted to know if it was reasonable for babies so young to be away from one parent for so long after being with just one parent for most of the time. If you read as much as I do, therapists think probably 75% against this and 25% for this. Legally, it is about 60/40 against. Some states more liberal than others I guess.

Guess what counts in court?

 

[fairisfair]

Don't have to make things personal here. Just looking for some intelligent advice.
He knows what I am and I know what he is. We will work through our differences. Regardless, though, just wanted to know if it was reasonable for babies so young to be away from one parent for so long after being with just one parent for most of the time. If you read as much as I do, therapists think probably 75% against this and 25% for this. Legally, it is about 60/40 against. Some states more liberal than others I guess.

Really?? That is quite fascinating.

Now try reading YOUR court order.

 

[Zigner]

Don't have to make things personal here. Just looking for some intelligent advice.
He knows what I am and I know what he is. We will work through our differences. Regardless, though, just wanted to know if it was reasonable for babies so young to be away from one parent for so long after being with just one parent for most of the time. If you read as much as I do, therapists think probably 75% against this and 25% for this. Legally, it is about 60/40 against. Some states more liberal than others I guess.

So, it comes back to, because you are MOMMY, you are a better person for the CHILD to have been with all this time.
I'll tell you what - point to a (valid) source for your statistics. Not that it matters in court, but I figured I should call you out on the BS you are spewing.

 

[Melanie80]

Why are you so against him having the time. And actually, most therapists look at the child's best interest, and it's always a case by case thing. You can't find one article and post it here for YOUR benefit.
Again, if he's not a bad dad, why are you so against it?
I have a husband dealing with a selfish parent, who doesn't agree with dad's having overnights either. Maybe you two ought to get together.

 

[Corruptj]

Why are you so against him having the time. And actually, most therapists look at the child's best interest, and it's always a case by case thing. You can't find one article and post it here for YOUR benefit.
Again, if he's not a bad dad, why are you so against it?
I have a husband dealing with a selfish parent, who doesn't agree with dad's having overnights either. Maybe you two ought to get together.

Just a basic question. Not sure why you have to read more into this. I'm just looking for a yay or nay. I am just looking for reasonable, logical rationale to my question. Seems this site is bent on he said/she said jargon. I never said I was against it. I just asked what your opions were.

 

[penelope10]

Just a basic question. Not sure why you have to read more into this. I'm just looking for a yay or nay. I am just looking for reasonable, logical rationale to my question. Seems this site is bent on he said/she said jargon. I never said I was against it. I just asked what your opions were.

Asked and answered--- the court has already decided that it will not be harmful to the child.

 

[5stardreams]

The hardest thing that I had to deal with when my ex-husband and I divorced was that he was going to get some sort of custody of our child. I said to myself, this isn't fair at all! He didn't do a darned thing the first 5 years of her life, and in fact, he stayed out all night gambling and didn't arrive home until 4 a.m., and he'd be asleep when she woke up and I took her to daycare. She literally didn't see her father for the first 5 years of her life, except occasionally on Sunday.

I still fight with this every single day. When my daughter is with her father, she goes to school in dirty clothing and three sizes too small. Her hair is never brushed, she is filthy (not showering for 3 to 4 days at a time), and doesn't eat properly. It breaks my heart that he doesn't take care of her.

That being said, how I view my ex-husband and how my daughter views her father are two different things. When she sees him, her face lights up. When he's with her, he takes her to the movies and to play pinball at the arcade. It took him a long time to be able to do something with his daughter and to even appreciate having a daughter.

No matter what you personally believe, he is the father and he deserves to see his child. He may not want to, or appreciate it, or even care. You may think he's the worst thing since the gas price rates, but that is not important at all. You may think that the child is too young to be away from mom, but that's not important at all either.

 

[Melanie80]

I personally, being a mom, don't see a problem with it. When I first divorced my ex, I made sure he had time with the child, even overnights. He was an infant when we divorced. If he is not a bad father, there is no reason to worry. Here in California, if you have NO evidence of wrong doing the judge will laugh and kick you out of his/her courtroom. At this point it doesn't sound like there is detriment to the child for a change. If you go to court with nothing in hand except an article, you very well may end up paying his attorney fee's for it. Check out other postings for that.
I'm glad my son because he had that time with his father. You never know how long they (dads) will be around.

 

[Corruptj]

The hardest thing that I had to deal with when my ex-husband and I divorced was that he was going to get some sort of custody of our child. I said to myself, this isn't fair at all! He didn't do a darned thing the first 5 years of her life, and in fact, he stayed out all night gambling and didn't arrive home until 4 a.m., and he'd be asleep when she woke up and I took her to daycare. She literally didn't see her father for the first 5 years of her life, except occasionally on Sunday.

I still fight with this every single day. When my daughter is with her father, she goes to school in dirty clothing and three sizes too small. Her hair is never brushed, she is filthy (not showering for 3 to 4 days at a time), and doesn't eat properly. It breaks my heart that he doesn't take care of her.

That being said, how I view my ex-husband and how my daughter views her father are two different things. When she sees him, her face lights up. When he's with her, he takes her to the movies and to play pinball at the arcade. It took him a long time to be able to do something with his daughter and to even appreciate having a daughter.

No matter what you personally believe, he is the father and he deserves to see his child. He may not want to, or appreciate it, or even care. You may think he's the worst thing since the gas price rates, but that is not important at all. You may think that the child is too young to be away from mom, but that's not important at all either.

Thank you. i agree with your sentiment here.

 

[Melanie80]

Thing is, moms do that all the time then accuse dad of wrong doing. My husband's ex sent the child in clothes too small, shoes that were a size and a half too small and gave her a handfull of cereal for breakfast, to say the least.
And I'm sorry, I am tired of hearing how bad dad's are, when a lot of mom's are guilty of doing the same things.
And I'm not happy that my son is away from me, but you know what, too bad. The child needs both parents, whether one parent or the other doesn't agree.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

boiling it down to your simplest question, i ask you this:

why in the world would you think it would not be in a baby's best interest to spend time with his/her father?

 

[CLBKLCDTB]

Sorry to offend you with BioF. I reserve 'dad' for the one that supports and cares for the baby, not someone who is being forced to visit the baby, etc. because of reputation, etc

"DNA is legal proof of who DAD is. Anyone else is a legal stranger, or just Moms parmour..

MOM chose dad when she slept with him and ended up pregnant, then carried the child to term and gave birth..

Mom does not get to "reserve dad" nor does she legaly have the right to dismiss dad.

Appearently the courts feel that the father ....also known as DAD, has just as many rights to his child as the Mother.

 

[CLBKLCDTB]

Don't have to make things personal here. Just looking for some intelligent advice.
He knows what I am and I know what he is. We will work through our differences. Regardless, though, just wanted to know if it was reasonable for babies so young to be away from one parent for so long after being with just one parent for most of the time. If you read as much as I do, therapists think probably 75% against this and 25% for this. Legally, it is about 60/40 against. Some states more liberal than others I guess.

The sooner the bonding starts the better. appearently the courts feel it is the best interest of the child to bond with his father. As the child gets older Dad will be able to ask for more time as well