Should I let 13 month old child stay overnight?

[UpAllNight83]

OP you are missing the boat and may well be failing to protect your child's future

1: Dad has no legal visitation or custody rights until and unless there is a court order in place .

2. Dad has no legal duty to provide child support and any appropriate insurance until and unless there is a court order in place .

3. YOU need to be a lot more proactive to get things in place for your child re dad.

I agree with that completely, although even with orders in place he has all but told me he won't be forced to comply so he isn't going to. As I said he is lying about his income but none of that matters, as far as what I understand, when it comes to visitation. I've never actually asked him to buy anything, he expects me to accept any and everything he decides to bring by. I needed to start looking for this information 13 months ago. Thank you for responding.

 

[HRZ]

Deliberate failure to pay ordered support can invite a host of court imposed sanctions and in some cases/states a deadbeat parent can get a trip to jail for contempt ? Do not let hot air slow you down in securing resources for the child.

 

[UpAllNight83]

I presume he and you have not filed an affidavit of paternity where he and you agree he is the father, legally, either.


Personally, I would play a bit of hardball. Tell him that if he wants any visitation that he needs to complete the establishment of paternity through the courts. Without that he actually has absolutely no legal right to demand any visitation. He also is allowed to ignore his obligation to provide support for the child.


I was watching a people’s court show today. The judge was actually chastising a mother for not stepping up and seeking child support from the father of her child. Her statement made a very strong point


The mother is seeking what the child has a right to; that both parents provide support for the child and it is the mothers responsibility to represent the child’s best interest in seeking the father pay his share.


Stand up for your child’s best interest and get this taken care of through the courts.


I would tell him

No legal paternity, NO visitation.

That sounds like what should have and be happening to me but other things I've read have said I'd be looked at negatively for NOT allowing visitation even without a legal custody or support order.

Navigating through this is harder than I ever could have imagined and looks as if things are decided on a case by case basis at judges discretion so knowing what choice will be approved of is difficult. Thanks for responding.

 

[LdiJ]

That sounds like what should have and be happening to me but other things I've read have said I'd be looked at negatively for NOT allowing visitation even without a legal custody or support order.

Navigating through this is harder than I ever could have imagined and looks as if things are decided on a case by case basis at judges discretion so knowing what choice will be approved of is difficult. Thanks for responding.

That sounds like what should have and be happening to me but other things I've read have said I'd be looked at negatively for NOT allowing visitation even without a legal custody or support order.

Navigating through this is harder than I ever could have imagined and looks as if things are decided on a case by case basis at judges discretion so knowing what choice will be approved of is difficult. Thanks for responding.

Not when paternity has not even been established. Heck, it wouldn't necessarily cause you to be looked at negatively even if paternity HAD been established.

 

[UpAllNight83]

Deliberate failure to pay ordered support can invite a host of court imposed sanctions and in some cases/states a deadbeat parent can get a trip to jail for contempt ? Do not let hot air slow you down in securing resources for the child.

I found out that he has not made a support payment to his then 15 year old son since soon after they went to court about it. He has never suffered any consequences for failure to pay. I think he believes it will be exactly the same this go round. I'm in a different county so maybe that will make a difference? I don't expect it to.

 

[UpAllNight83]

Not when paternity has not even been established. Heck, it wouldn't necessarily cause you to be looked at negatively even if paternity HAD been established.

I have to stick to my guns now and ignore his and his family attempts to bully me into going against my better judgement.

 

[HRZ]

Get some help as to MIchigan law ....it may be that if Dad has defied a court order for DNA testing that the court may enter a default order for support ...beyond my lay skills.

The priorities of who gets paid what and enforcement options as to CS are moot if you and this child are not even in the legal line.

 

[stealth2]

CS is rarely retroactive ( varies by state) to earlier than the date of proper petition for same

However, in THIS situation, that may well not apply, and support will go back (retroactively) to when the child began receiving state benefits.

 

[UpAllNight83]

Get some help as to MIchigan law ....it may be that if Dad has defied a court order for DNA testing that the court may enter a default order for support ...beyond my lay skills.

The priorities of who gets paid what and enforcement options as to CS are moot if you and this child are not even in the legal line.

I called the support office and they explained that a default judgement against him would be filed if he keeps avoiding them. They have to go about "due process?" first. I am definitely going to contact some lawyers on Monday.

 

[justalayman]

That sounds like what should have and be happening to me but other things I've read have said I'd be looked at negatively for NOT allowing visitation even without a legal custody or support order.

Navigating through this is harder than I ever could have imagined and looks as if things are decided on a case by case basis at judges discretion so knowing what choice will be approved of is difficult. Thanks for responding.

It’s not the issue of no legal support order. As it stands, he is not legally the father. That is a very different issue.

 

[justalayman]

However, in THIS situation, that may well not apply, and support will go back (retroactively) to when the child began receiving state benefits.

If the child is recieving state benefits, I’m surprised the state isn’t forcing the issue of paternity.

 

[justalayman]

I found out that he has not made a support payment to his then 15 year old son since soon after they went to court about it. He has never suffered any consequences for failure to pay. I think he believes it will be exactly the same this go round. I'm in a different county so maybe that will make a difference? I don't expect it to.

if the mother pushed the issue, the state will usuallly do something about it.

I have a friend who was tossed in jail as soon as his delinquency hit $1000. In my area of the state, Michigan tends to be very aggressive if the mother seeks the assistance of the state in enforcement of child support.

 

[Zigner]

As to "gifts", my view as a layman is you can accept all the gifts you want ...and ignore any supposed strings.

The general view of responders here is that court will treat payments / gifts made prior to petition for child support as NOT counting in payors favor and will be treated as gifts . CS is rarely retroactive ( varies by state) to earlier than the date of proper petition for same : get started darn soon.

To be clear, if child support is ordered and the actual $ is given, then the court will see it as non-payment of child support. It doesn't matter at all what "stuff" is given. Of course, if the court ordered that "stuff" can be given in lieu of cash, that's fine, but that's not going to happen here because mom is receiving state aid.

 

[stealth2]

I found out that he has not made a support payment to his then 15 year old son since soon after they went to court about it. He has never suffered any consequences for failure to pay. I think he believes it will be exactly the same this go round. I'm in a different county so maybe that will make a difference? I don't expect it to.

Was that mother receiving state aid? That makes a difference.

 

[UpAllNight83]

if the mother pushed the issue, the state will usuallly do something about it.

I have a friend who was tossed in jail as soon as his delinquency hit $1000. In my area of the state, Michigan tends to be very aggressive if the mother seeks the assistance of the state in enforcement of child support.

Holy moly! I don't think the mom ever sought to have him penalized. I don't even have as much as secondhand knowledge about CS in MI so I need to find a lawyer asap.