Sibling cremated mother w/o my knowing

[ensan1221]

What is the name of your state?california
my mother passed away and my sister claims she had body cremated, all without my knowledege. could she have done this legally?

 

[xylene]

Im very sorry about your grief. Lets talk about this.

You say 'Claims'? Do you suspect something different?

Did you believe your mother stipulated different final wishes?

Could you tell a bit more about the stiuation.
Was there a will?

In general cremation is a lawful and appropriate disposition of human remains.

Could tell us what you think was done wrong?

 

[adjusterjack]

could she have done this legally?

Yes.

 

[ensan1221]

Im very sorry about your grief. Lets talk about this.

You say 'Claims'? Do you suspect something different?

Did you believe your mother stipulated different final wishes?

Could you tell a bit more about the stiuation.
Was there a will?

In general cremation is a lawful and appropriate disposition of human remains.

Could tell us what you think was done wrong?

 

[ensan1221]

Reason I say "claims" is that I wasn't even informed that my mother had a heart attack and passed , until 2 days later, and supposedly the cremation had already taken place. I just didnt think that could be done that quickly, without all children being notified. My mother was estranged from both of us and had no will, nor anything any of us would pursue. My sister just happens to be married to a cop, and tend to do whatever they please. To top things off, we all live within 5 miles of each other.

 

[xylene]

Talk this out with a therapist.

 

[justalayman]

2 days seems quite quick but not impossible.

But even if she bent rules to speed up the cremation, what difference does it really make? Unless you believe she was actually interred in a cemetery, knowing whether it was legal or not really doesn’t matter. There is nothing to be gained by pursuing this.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Reason I say "claims" is that I wasn't even informed that my mother had a heart attack and passed , until 2 days later, and supposedly the cremation had already taken place. I just didnt think that could be done that quickly, without all children being notified. My mother was estranged from both of us and had no will, nor anything any of us would pursue. My sister just happens to be married to a cop, and tend to do whatever they please. To top things off, we all live within 5 miles of each other.

Well then, I guess your sister took the least expensive route, knowing that she could not expect any monetary help from you.

You can still have a memorial service for her, if you wish to commemorate her passing/celebrate her life.

 

[HRZ]

Well you are entitled to your view that sis left you out of equation and perhaps she did but I don't know of anything was illegal at all.

BTW who paid for moms final expenses
..mom or sis?

 

[HighwayMan]

My mother was estranged from both of us and had no will,..

How are you so sure of that if you two had been estranged?

 

[ensan1221]

How are you so sure of that if you two had been estranged?

She had no will, because she had nothing to leave.

 

[not2cleverRed]

She had no will, because she had nothing to leave.

So, you're out no money, because there was no money, and your sister didn't ask you to pony up your share of the cost of cremation. So, you have not been damaged financially.

It is therefore unclear what your concern is. Your sister is next of kin, and apparently was the easiest one to be found and notified. There were no suspicious circumstances, and so the cheapest option was used. It is not necessary for all next of kin to chime in and come to a unanimous decision. Just try harder to be civil, because frankly, calling your sister "dirt" does not make you sound like a nice person.

 

[ensan1221]

So, you're out no money, because there was no money, and your sister didn't ask you to pony up your share of the cost of cremation. So, you have not been damaged financially.

It is therefore unclear what your concern is. Your sister is next of kin, and apparently was the easiest one to be found and notified. There were no suspicious circumstances, and so the cheapest option was used. It is not necessary for all next of kin to chime in and come to a unanimous decision. Just try harder to be civil, because frankly, calling your sister "dirt" does not make you sound like a nice person.

Thank you, to those who took the time to read and then answer to my post. I believe you all read more into my question than was intended, as i only was asking if my sister only did something illegal. I didnt ask for any other help concerning any other matters, nobody knows that I am the one in the family, who has the finances, { my sister doesn"t}, nor was i looking for anything that my mother could have left in a will. Thank you, anyhow

 

[Zigner]

Thank you, to those who took the time to read and then answer to my post. I believe you all read more into my question than was intended, as i only was asking if my sister only did something illegal. I didnt ask for any other help concerning any other matters, nobody knows that I am the one in the family, who has the finances, { my sister doesn"t}, nor was i looking for anything that my mother could have left in a will. Thank you, anyhow

Your question was answered, along with a fair amount of additional information that you may, or may not have been aware of. I'm sorry you are disappointed that the volunteers on this forum took their time to give you additional information, going above and beyond. We'll try to be less informative in the future.