I'm willing to bet that when you were served the initial order that you ignored the information about the hearing where the order was finalized. I suspect that you were properly served.Another thing this court did was state the expiration date for the harassment order in twelve days, but the docket I requested yesterday shows that the expiration date was scratched out with a pen, and a new date was scribbled in with a pen. No one notified me about this. The new date shows an expiration date of almost two years from now. Why didn't anyone notify me about this? Why was the original date scribbled out? Had I not contacted the court yesterday requesting the docket, I wouldn't have known about the new date of expiration.
You are focusing on the wrong thing: the first step would have been to figure out how to fight the order. And yes, your options are different depending on the state.
You have no case because not responding means that you didn't contest/contradict her allegations.
You have put the cart before the horse.