Slanderes Ex-Daughter-in-law

[pammness]

undefinedNew Jersey - I understand that. It angered me when it was assumed that my son has no spine and is whining to me. 1. He did not tell me what his wife said - his girlfriend did. 2. He doesn't even know that I am online looking for advice. 3. I've raised 5 boys all of whom are their own men. 4. Even though I have limited funds I've offered to help him w/$ matters - he has refused.
6. His ex never comes to court without her parents, brother, boyfriend & sister. 7. My son goes to court w/his girlfriend. 8. Because I do not want to lower myself to his ex's character I will not go thru the litany of the whole story. 9. I have no intention of filing a suit against her for slander after taking the kind advice of some. You don't have to be a mind reader to have some empathy and not jump to conclusions. If anyone needs more information to give constructive advice they should communicate that. Although this matter has gone far beyond what I expected I would like to thank you for your advice. I have been able to decide what I will do.

1.) What would be wrong in him confiding in his mom? I have 3 kids, 18 girl,15 girl, 13 son. I would be hurt if they did not come to me when they feel hurt and needed to talk.
2.) It is ok for you to care for your childern and want to find help in a bad situation so that you could help, if needed.
3.) I am sure you have done a good job and continue to be athe best mom you can be.
4.) One more piece of info that shows you stand behind your son/sons. Good for you and for him. I am sure if he really did need your $ support he would say so.... he loves you.
5.) OOPS, you missed 5... No biggy.
6 & 7 & 8.) YOu should go with your son to show him, the judge and her family that you are behind your son. You don't need to testify if it's not needed but if he needs you to, to show his good character, please do so, he'll love you for it and the judeg will have more insight on your sons true character.I know you want to remain neutral, you can do so, you don't have to stoop to their leave i.e. name calling, lying etc...
9.) I feel your decision is the right one... give her no room to talk about you and ignore false statements made about you and your family. If she pulls this stuff up in court, you should be there so you have a chance to help your son by speaking not only on your behalf but his as well. You don't want him to lose his parental rights because she drags her family to court and accuses you of being a lush. Put your best foot forward and be there for your son/sons. Not a mind reader but I know how you feel as I have had similiar issues woth my ex.
If you want to chat any time, let me know, sometimes we just need to get it off our chests. My e-mail is available for you here, if you need someone to chat with... I'm here anytime day or night...
Huggz to you and God speed. Pam

 

[vanana]

Slanderes ex-daughter-in-law

undefinedNew Jersey to: pammness Thanks Pam wouldn't mind chatting w/you. Couldn't pull up your e/m address!

 

[pammness]

how to get me...

undefinedNew Jersey to: pammness Thanks Pam wouldn't mind chatting w/you. Couldn't pull up your e/m address!

click on my name a little list will pop down and choose to view my profile. there on the right you will see where it says to send e-mail... if that doesn't work.....let me know here.... I'll figure out something without posting it in here ....

 

[vanana]

Slanderes Ex-daughter-in-law

undefinedHi Pam, I did that and it reported that you did not want your e/m on record! Also said something about going to administrator. I'll try that.

 

[cbg]

Any assumption I made that you were looking for something more than the legalities was based on the following:

You don't have to be a mind reader to have some empathy

Since I'm the one who commented that we were not mind-readers, I don't think it unreasonable for me to have assumed that this was directed at me.

I'm finished with this thread.

 

[pammness]

Crysatl Clear

If you're looking for a explanation of general legal concepts, you're in the right place.
If you're looking for someone to hold your hand and tell you what a shame it is that she's doing this, that's what Dear Abby is for.

Don't mix the two up.

Not your only statement for the mind-reader comment it appears.
I see here you are not a attorney, because they are taught to give the facts and lend a sympathic ear...Nothing wrong with this mom wanting some legal
advise and someone to show a little empathy....
I have read alot of post MANY people not only looking for legal answers and advice on that realm, they are also wanting someone to show a little empathy, care and concern.
This Dear Abby comment was totally uncalled for and if I was slightly upset, which I am sure this mom is a BIT more then that I would be hurt as well.
We're all to happy to see that you are done here!! I think you have "HELPED OUT" enough. Maybe even to much.
We all need someone to lend us a sympathic ear every now and then, I can only hope and pray someone takes extra time with you in your hour of need that you so rudely denied this lady... Thank God everyone in this world does not think as you do.... God Bless & God Speed

 

[stephenk]

First you post that your son's ex told him that you were a drunk and he told you. Then after i respond to your post you come up with the version that your son's girlfriend is the one who told you. Which is it? Did your son confirm that the ex made such a statement? What did your son say to his ex when she made the comment?


"My son and I have been very discreet when we are w/the girls." What does that mean? You and your son keep the drinking to a minimum around the kids?

The fact that your son has a drinking problem says more about the situation then your hurt feelings about maybe being called a drunk.

 

[Rushia]

Umm, I'm going to look at it from another point of view here. I believe that it would be completely idiotic to send that letter. First, the ex will know that she "got to you" and second, well, it would look as if it worried you enough that you were caught. Personally, I'd let it go.

And to the OP and Pammy there. This might seem harsh to you, but you're here for legal advice not compassion. We don't know you and quite honestly we don't care. We give you the legal advice you need and then you go away. You get what you pay for.

 

[pammness]

Hmmmmm

Umm, I'm going to look at it from another point of view here. I believe that it would be completely idiotic to send that letter. First, the ex will know that she "got to you" and second, well, it would look as if it worried you enough that you were caught. Personally, I'd let it go.

And to the OP and Pammy there. This might seem harsh to you, but you're here for legal advice not compassion. We don't know you and quite honestly we don't care. We give you the legal advice you need and then you go away. You get what you pay for.

Well, I think without me implying this nice lady is an idiot, I told her the same thing already "idiotic"
Second, who hear is judge and jury for you to state "she got caught".... I guess I got caught last weekend having a few drinks at the family 4th of July celebration.
I am here, same as you as a non-legal to give assistant if I can, and also for help when I need it. That includes lending an ear when needed.
"We don't know you"...... do you have a mouse in your pocket? Because I think the lady with the questions and CONCERNS has no beef with me. So I can't see why you would speak for her..... I didn't read in the rules anywhere that once I got my answers I had to go anywhere..... I like you am required to obey the rules.... In which I have not crossed any of. If I had/do I am sure the monitors would speak to me concerning them. Which they haven't. I have spoken to a senior member on issues also surrounding this post. He gave me the rules and who I should contact..... I was in no way told I was in error for being nice or responding as often as I have. He directed me to whom I should contact. I followed the guidelines. I did not blast anyonyone here. And I am still not doing so. I refrain from name calling and speaking on things I have no life experience in.
"We give you the legal advise"..... You do, so your a legal registered attorney/lawyer here on this site ?
We are here to be helpful and nice. I try to do just that and have not once ever implied I have legal papers of any sort. I am just a person trying to help another if I can, and to be a friend if needed. If this bothers you, why did you not move on along, as it appears what you have said here was not really necessary. I see you have no input prior on this issue and it appears the only reason you did now was to point a finger at me.
Your title is the same here as mine.... member.
If people were in search of just legal advise they can get that with a free consultation. They look here for real people as well as free fast legal advise, they read from non-attorneys in hopes of having some light shed, they read the other comments in hopes someone can help that has been there before.... and many also look for understanding and caring.
This thread is for this OP's question, if she chooses to continue conversations on this thread as well as anyone concerning this matter, we have the right to do so. Whether legal advise for problem was resolved or not. If not once it was "solved" thread would be deleted I am sure.
God Speed.

 

[Rushia]

Well, I think without me implying this nice lady is an idiot, I told her the same thing already "idiotic"
Second, who hear is judge and jury for you to state "she got caught".... I guess I got caught last weekend having a few drinks at the family 4th of July celebration.
I am here, same as you as a non-legal to give assistant if I can, and also for help when I need it. That includes lending an ear when needed.
"We don't know you"...... do you have a mouse in your pocket? Because I think the lady with the questions and CONCERNS has no beef with me. So I can't see why you would speak for her..... I didn't read in the rules anywhere that once I got my answers I had to go anywhere..... I like you am required to obey the rules.... In which I have not crossed any of. If I had/do I am sure the monitors would speak to me concerning them. Which they haven't. I have spoken to a senior member on issues also surrounding this post. He gave me the rules and who I should contact..... I was in no way told I was in error for being nice or responding as often as I have. He directed me to whom I should contact. I followed the guidelines. I did not blast anyonyone here. And I am still not doing so. I refrain from name calling and speaking on things I have no life experience in.
"We give you the legal advise"..... You do, so your a legal registered attorney/lawyer here on this site ?
We are here to be helpful and nice. I try to do just that and have not once ever implied I have legal papers of any sort. I am just a person trying to help another if I can, and to be a friend if needed. If this bothers you, why did you not move on along, as it appears what you have said here was not really necessary. I see you have no input prior on this issue and it appears the only reason you did now was to point a finger at me.
Your title is the same here as mine.... member.
If people were in search of just legal advise they can get that with a free consultation. They look here for real people as well as free fast legal advise, they read from non-attorneys in hopes of having some light shed, they read the other comments in hopes someone can help that has been there before.... and many also look for understanding and caring.
This thread is for this OP's question, if she chooses to continue conversations on this thread as well as anyone concerning this matter, we have the right to do so. Whether legal advise for problem was resolved or not. If not once it was "solved" thread would be deleted I am sure.
God Speed.

Lady, you don't have a clue or you can't read. I said that it might look as if she was worried about being caught. I don't know if she drinks or not and I don't care. We means me and some of the other posters. You seem to follow around and "blast" at other posters about trying to be compassionate. As all people do, we have our days where we don't feel like being nice. For example I certainly have had enough of silly teenagers who are "in love and pregnant". We are all entitled to our opinions, and as such where do you then get off telling us all we should be nice.

 

[stealth2]

Y'all may also want to note that only ONE of the posters who replied to OP is an attorney. The one OP got pissed off at. Smart move.

 

[Rushia]

Y'all may also want to note that only ONE of the posters who replied to OP is an attorney. The one OP got pissed off at. Smart move.

Too true. I only interjected as I saw the letter as a possible admission of guilt. Quite frankly, that's how I would see it.

The only reason I responded to pam is because, I'm tired of all of her posts proclaiming that we should all be nice and/or more compassionate. She claims that she doesn't "blast" people on here. Yet, she does to all the Seniors who give the "legal" advice whether they be attorneys or not.

 

[pammness]

Hmmmm

Lady, you don't have a clue or you can't read. I said that it might look as if she was worried about being caught. I don't know if she drinks or not and I don't care. We means me and some of the other posters. You seem to follow around and "blast" at other posters about trying to be compassionate. As all people do, we have our days where we don't feel like being nice. For example I certainly have had enough of silly teenagers who are "in love and pregnant". We are all entitled to our opinions, and as such where do you then get off telling us all we should be nice.

For those days that you don't feel like being nice, don't get on here and blast people, it isn't necessary. Your not paid to be here, so don't jump people just because your having a bad day. I only state what is fact, my post have always been due to my already posting on the thread and/or my seeing totaly uncalled for remarks. If I state opinion I say so and I try not to let my personal opinions get in the way. If I can't say what needs to be said and not cross that line, I skip that thread and move on.
I can state to thos I feel are wrong what their rights are as I know them, but I am not their character judge. This site is not for me to judge others, but to offer assists if I can. I do this free and because I like to help people. I am not into bs chatting. I like being here, I don't like seeing people verbally attacked.

 

[pammness]

fyi

Y'all may also want to note that only ONE of the posters who replied to OP is an attorney. The one OP got pissed off at. Smart move.

Nowhere on here does it show who is and is not a lawyer. I don't recall anyone announcing such either.
Comments can be hurtful, true or otherwise.
We need to be careful of what we say and do.... lawyer or not

 

[Rushia]

I am not into bs chatting. I like being here, I don't like seeing people verbally attacked.

Quite simply, facts are presented. OP in this case was told she had no case. She didn't like it. If you are not into bs chatting then WHY do you keep telling people to feel free to chat with you. This is not Dear Abby.