Sole Custody of Illegitimate Child

[txkate78]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

I am now 5 months pregnant and trying to plan ahead. The father is married and is willing to do whatever I ask. Because my family lives out of the USA I found out I will need to get his permission to even get a passport for my child. I do live in Louisiana but the father lives in Texas. This is my first child, so I have alot to learn. The father is willing to sign anything that gives me sole custody so I don't have to get his written permission about every decision as this child grows up. Do I have to do this through a Judge or is there a legal form he can notorize that will be sufficent? I have no intentions of going after him for child support, but would like to leave that option open for college. I also will give him full visitation rights, but unless he gets divorced he doesn't want this option. What do I need to do? My guess is that I can't do any of this until the child is born, but I would like to be prepared. If I need a lawyer I would like to get everything set up now, so that as soon as the child is born and I have a birth certificate, the father can come and sign paperwork. By the way the father won't be there to sign the birth certificate if that makes any difference.
Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

I am now 5 months pregnant and trying to plan ahead. The father is married and is willing to do whatever I ask. Because my family lives out of the USA I found out I will need to get his permission to even get a passport for my child. I do live in Louisiana but the father lives in Texas. This is my first child, so I have alot to learn. The father is willing to sign anything that gives me sole custody so I don't have to get his written permission about every decision as this child grows up. Do I have to do this through a Judge or is there a legal form he can notorize that will be sufficent? I have no intentions of going after him for child support, but would like to leave that option open for college. I also will give him full visitation rights, but unless he gets divorced he doesn't want this option. What do I need to do? My guess is that I can't do any of this until the child is born, but I would like to be prepared. If I need a lawyer I would like to get everything set up now, so that as soon as the child is born and I have a birth certificate, the father can come and sign paperwork. By the way the father won't be there to sign the birth certificate if that makes any difference.
Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Being that the two of you are not married, you have sole legal and physical custody by default - until the father files for paternity/support/visitation.

 

[hollidaz1984]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

I am now 5 months pregnant and trying to plan ahead. The father is married and is willing to do whatever I ask. Because my family lives out of the USA I found out I will need to get his permission to even get a passport for my child. I do live in Louisiana but the father lives in Texas. This is my first child, so I have alot to learn. The father is willing to sign anything that gives me sole custody so I don't have to get his written permission about every decision as this child grows up. Do I have to do this through a Judge or is there a legal form he can notorize that will be sufficent? I have no intentions of going after him for child support, but would like to leave that option open for college. I also will give him full visitation rights, but unless he gets divorced he doesn't want this option. What do I need to do? My guess is that I can't do any of this until the child is born, but I would like to be prepared. If I need a lawyer I would like to get everything set up now, so that as soon as the child is born and I have a birth certificate, the father can come and sign paperwork. By the way the father won't be there to sign the birth certificate if that makes any difference.
Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Texas Attorney General's Office: Texas Attorney General

Louisiana Attorney General's Office: Office of the Louisiana Attorney General - James D. "Buddy" Caldwell

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If you live in Louisiana, and plan to give birth there also, Louisiana maintains jurisdiction.

If the father is NOT listed on any paperwork, then there is only one parent since you are not married.

FYI - not many states have child support orders that cover children thru college. The two states that come to mind are neither of the states you've listed. You may want to consider a 529 as a savings mechanism for college if you don't want dad involved.

 

[txkate78]

I do plan on having the father on the birth certificate, but he won't be there to sign it. Does that mean they won't allow me to put him on there?
I checked with the passport office and I need a document stating I have sole custody or one of their forms that the father would have to sign giving me permission to get the child a passport. I would also need his permission each time I had it renewed. Will I also need his written permission when it comes to any kind of school stuff?
I want to keep my option open for child support, which he is willing to provide, but I don't plan to enforce it at this point. I will plan ahead for college without him.
The Passport office did state if the father was not on the birth certificate then I would automatically have sole custody. All of this is bad enough as it is and I would prefer his name be on the birth certificate, not having it on there will be a last resort.
Thank you for all your help!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Dad could agree to give you sole custody, and have child support reserved. Why do you choose to go without the support?

 

[OldandTired]

Sad story. Sure hate to read one's like this.

No worries about having to get his permission for anything, unless he is named as the father after the child is born, and he has established paternity through the Court.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

I am now 5 months pregnant and trying to plan ahead. The father is married and is willing to do whatever I ask. Because my family lives out of the USA I found out I will need to get his permission to even get a passport for my child. I do live in Louisiana but the father lives in Texas. This is my first child, so I have alot to learn. The father is willing to sign anything that gives me sole custody so I don't have to get his written permission about every decision as this child grows up. Do I have to do this through a Judge or is there a legal form he can notorize that will be sufficent? I have no intentions of going after him for child support, but would like to leave that option open for college. I also will give him full visitation rights, but unless he gets divorced he doesn't want this option. What do I need to do? My guess is that I can't do any of this until the child is born, but I would like to be prepared. If I need a lawyer I would like to get everything set up now, so that as soon as the child is born and I have a birth certificate, the father can come and sign paperwork. By the way the father won't be there to sign the birth certificate if that makes any difference.
Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Honestly, one thing that you could do is simply do nothing. If dad doesn't sign the AOP at the hospital you will automatically have sole legal and physical custody, because you will be the only parent on the birth certificate. You will be able to get a passport for the child without dad's permission and you won't need to consult him on any decisions, again, because you would be the only parent on the birth certificate.

This, of course, is assuming that you can support your child without any assistance from the government. If you apply for any benefits you will be forced to name the father and forced to file for child support.

 

[hollidaz1984]

Here is the Texas Statutes if you plan on having the baby in Texas.

Texas Legislature Online

I have done my research on rights of fathers and what their rights are in Texas.

 

[Ohiogal]

Texas Attorney General's Office: Texas Attorney General

Louisiana Attorney General's Office: Office of the Louisiana Attorney General - James D. "Buddy" Caldwell

Texas does NOT have jurisdiction. QUITgiving advice.

 

[Ohiogal]

Here is the Texas Statutes if you plan on having the baby in Texas.

Texas Legislature Online

I have done my research on rights of fathers and what their rights are in Texas.

QUIT. She lives in Louisiana. TEXAS does NOT matter.

 

[momofrose]

That word "illegitimate" is a terrible word - please do not ever use that word when speaking of or to your baby.

d

 

[Ohiogal]

That word "illegitimate" is a terrible word - please do not ever use that word when speaking of or to your baby.

d

That is a legal word. As is the term B*****D. Both are legal terms. Illegitimate means born out of wedlock as does B*****D.

 

[Ohiogal]

I do plan on having the father on the birth certificate, but he won't be there to sign it. Does that mean they won't allow me to put him on there?
I checked with the passport office and I need a document stating I have sole custody or one of their forms that the father would have to sign giving me permission to get the child a passport. I would also need his permission each time I had it renewed. Will I also need his written permission when it comes to any kind of school stuff?
I want to keep my option open for child support, which he is willing to provide, but I don't plan to enforce it at this point. I will plan ahead for college without him.
The Passport office did state if the father was not on the birth certificate then I would automatically have sole custody. All of this is bad enough as it is and I would prefer his name be on the birth certificate, not having it on there will be a last resort.
Thank you for all your help!

You can NOT put dad on the birth certificate when the baby is born UNLESS he signs the AOP at the time of birth. If you want dad on the birth certificate then you have to go to court and establish paternity. Your child will NOT have a father until paternity is established. As such you will not need his permission for anything.

 

[momofrose]

That is a legal word. As is the term B*****D. Both are legal terms. Illegitimate means born out of wedlock as does B*****D.

thank you for clarifying - I just hope OP does not use that word when speaking about or to the child. That was my only concern.