Son Is Beneficiary Of Deceased Father's Life Insurance

[melissa1277]

What is the name of your state? I live in IL

My 8y/o Son lost his Father 3 weeks ago. I received a phone call from Met Life informing me that my son is beneficiary of his Father's Life Insurance Policy. I am deeply concerned because I was told that this was going to be a life-changing amount that my son will be receiving (most likely in a trust). The Met Life agent will be traveling 4 hours to come meet with me this Friday. I am really not sure what to expect from this meeting. Due to me not really having a understand how this all works, I asked my Sister and Brother-In-Law to be with me when the agent comes, so there are more ears to hear what he explains. My Brother-In-Law did say not to sign ANYTHING until I have a lawyer check out whatever papers are given to me. Should I contact anyone else in regards to this or should I wait till after I hear what the agent has to say?

If anyone can let me know what I might expect from this meeting I would love to hear what you have to say. Im just a little nervous about this... not something I was expecting!

Thank you!!

 

[moburkes]

What is the name of your state? I live in IL

My 8y/o Son lost his Father 3 weeks ago. I received a phone call from Met Life informing me that my son is beneficiary of his Father's Life Insurance Policy. I am deeply concerned because I was told that this was going to be a life-changing amount that my son will be receiving (most likely in a trust). The Met Life agent will be traveling 4 hours to come meet with me this Friday. I am really not sure what to expect from this meeting. Due to me not really having a understand how this all works, I asked my Sister and Brother-In-Law to be with me when the agent comes, so there are more ears to hear what he explains. My Brother-In-Law did say not to sign ANYTHING until I have a lawyer check out whatever papers are given to me. Should I contact anyone else in regards to this or should I wait till after I hear what the agent has to say?

If anyone can let me know what I might expect from this meeting I would love to hear what you have to say. Im just a little nervous about this... not something I was expecting!

Thank you!!

They'll tell you the $ amount of the policy, and ask how it should be paid. BUT, since your son is a minor a trust needs to be set up so that all of the funds are available when he turns 18.

 

[melissa1277]

Well, I am aware of the Trust issue, but there is no way that I will allow, at the age of 18, for him to come into a large amount of money!!! Can I change the age to at least 21 or 25?

I heard that there are so many diffrent possibilities (yet no one elaborated on them) on what to do when it comes to a minor being the beneficiary. Obvisously a Trust... what other possibilities are there? College (especially if I change the age that he is allowed to get the money)?

I feel so bad asking these questions.. mainly many people jump to the conclusion that the guardian would want the money for themself... that is not the case!! I would not accept another dime in my name if I could bring my Son's Dad back!! These are just questions that I have and I am hoping someone will be here to really give me answers to them!!

 

[moburkes]

It's not your money, for you to make that decision.

 

[JustAPal00]

If a trust was already set up, you should be able to get that information at the meeting. If not, and you truley want to honor his fathers wishes, you should set one up. I know you probably have the best interest of your son at heart, but you don't want that money to be available to any future partner of yours that might not. After the meeting, depending on the amount of money, you should contact an attorney that specializes in trusts. I personally would not give a large sum of money to an 18 year old. I would set it up incrementally, 18, 21, 25, marriage, depending on what you think is best! The attorney should be able to guide you through that!

 

[melissa1277]

It's not your money, for you to make that decision.

You are 110% right.. it is NOT my money.. honestly, I wish this all wasn't happening!! However, it is and I just came here to get some advice.

But to reply to what you said.. I will make ALL decisions when it comes to my child..He is only 8 years old. He can not make the decision on when he receives the money (he is not even going to know about it actually, until need be) so it is MY choice on when he gets to receive it - I was told I can choose the age. I only want what is best for him and what what definitley ISN'T BEST is to give a him a large amount of money when he is 18.

Thanks!

 

[moburkes]

Just an FYI: My siblings and I were the bene's of a trust at 18. No harm. Don't make assumptions.

 

[JustAPal00]

Just an FYI: My siblings and I were the bene's of a trust at 18. No harm. Don't make assumptions.

I had a friend in high school that came into a couple hundred grand, he and his brother are both dead now because of it. They wouldn't have been able to afford that fast a car without it!

 

[melissa1277]

If a trust was already set up, you should be able to get that information at the meeting. If not, and you truley want to honor his fathers wishes, you should set one up. I know you probably have the best interest of your son at heart, but you don't want that money to be available to any future partner of yours that might not. After the meeting, depending on the amount of money, you should contact an attorney that specializes in trusts. I personally would not give a large sum of money to an 18 year old. I would set it up incrementally, 18, 21, 25, marriage, depending on what you think is best! The attorney should be able to guide you through that!

Thank you for your kind reply. Like I said in my post and you can already see how people can react - telling me its not my money (see above)..

I am fully aware that this is not my money. I just want what is best for my Son. I will be forever greatful that his Dad was looking out for him!! It just makes me a bit nervous.. this was not what I was expecting. I had no idea about this insurance policy and it caught me off guard. Of course, I want to make the most of it for my Son to benefit from in the future. Im glad you agree with not giving a large amount to a 18 year old.. that could be a recipe for disaster!!! I like how things can be done in increments!! That is definitley something for me to think about!!

I know Tom (my Son's Dad) would want me to have the majority put away for our Son, but I know he would want to him to make sure he was raised without too much of a struggle for me and to make sure our son can do the things he would usually help with (sports, college, etc..).

I will just listen to what the agent has to say on Friday and then I will go from there!!! Once again, I thank you so much for your help!! I appreciate it more than you know~!!!

 

[melissa1277]

I had a friend in high school that came into a couple hundred grand, he and his brother are both dead now because of it. They wouldn't have been able to afford that fast a car without it!

That is very sad, but that is exactly what I worry about... I am not saying my Son will turn out that way, but he is only 8 years old. I am doing the best that I can to raise him but you never know what may happen!! I just want to make sure that he is as responsible as he can possibly be before any money is given to him.

 

[Betty]

The agt. will let you know the amt. of the proceeds & let you know just how the beneficiary designation is worded in the policy.

If your son is just listed by name with no trust already set up, you can contact an attorney to set one up in what would be in the best interest of your son.

I'm sorry for loss of your son's father.

 

[seniorjudge]

...
Well, I am aware of the Trust issue, but there is no way that I will allow, at the age of 18, for him to come into a large amount of money!!! Can I change the age to at least 21 or 25?
....

It is not your decision.

The trust must be executed under the law.

I (as judge) have turned over tons of dough to 18 year old kids....

I don't think any of them have a penny left.

 

[anteater]

I hate to sound cynical....

But, if the agent is traveling 4 hours, it is probably to sell you a variable annuity.

 

[melissa1277]

It is not your decision.

The trust must be executed under the law.

I (as judge) have turned over tons of dough to 18 year old kids....

I don't think any of them have a penny left.

I appreciate your response... however..

It may not be my decision, but I will do my best to try!! I think its ridiculous to give an 18yr old a large amount of money... and if I am his Mother, I should have the right to say when he gets the money. We shall see...

 

[melissa1277]

I hate to sound cynical....

But, if the agent is traveling 4 hours, it is probably to sell you a variable annuity.

What is a variable annuity?? I looked up the meaning, but it was a bunch of legal jargon that I didn't understand. Can you explain it in terms that I can better understand?

Thanks