Son makes allegations of abuse against mom's boyfriend

[fairisfair]

Just playing devil's advocate here....

It doesn't take much to put 2 and 2 together and come up with the wrong answer, either.

Do I worry that this child is in danger and HAS been, if not out and out abused, then at least mistreated? Yes.

Has there been any solid evidence posted that cleary shows that the child HAS been abused? No.

CPS already dismissed the allegations. There is no bona fide proof or legal documentation that this child is being abused, therefore, there isn't much of anything he can really take into court for a TRO. Just having a gut feeling isn't going to cut it in the court.

Judges often err on the side of caution with restraining orders.

 

[mommyof4]

Judges often err on the side of caution with restraining orders.

Yes, they do. And really, in this case, I certainly hope that the judge would.

That's why I said I was playing devil's advocate.

 

[fairisfair]

Yes, they do. And really, in this case, I certainly hope that the judge would.

That's why I said I was playing devil's advocate.

Me too. . . . something isn't right here. . . . .

 

[onebreath]

I am really curious, what do you other posters' think about mariposa asking for a restraining order? It seems much easier that way...and I do realize there is no solid proof.

However, and I know kids have accidents, but how many kids get bruises on their face, mixed with saying repeatedly a certain person (where child has just come from) that someone is hitting them? How would a 5 year old get bruises on the face except for falling on their face from a bike, falling down stairs...I'm brainstorming. I don't know how many bruises, or how severe they were.

Frankly, I am suprised CPS didn't take this up, what with the bf's history. I wish they would have at least talked to the child.

I am very curious....not knowing legally...what would a restraining order judge say when faced with all of this information....its not like its against the mom...its her bf that is suspect...I would think the chances are he/she would be comfortable giving a restraining order to keep moms' bf away from child. Its not like it's going to hurt his record (with all due legal respect to the bf)...and we're talking about a lot of stuff around a 5 year old. Wouldn't this be the simplest method to at least try?

Thanks, onebreath

 

[Ohiogal]

A restraining order judge? Hmmm... I don't know what that is so I cant tell you. Plus as an attorney ... well you still haven't apologized for your last crack about attorneys so pardon me if I don't feel like answering you.

 

[mommyof4]

If my little boy doesn't have a bruise and/or a goose egg somewhere on his forehead, I know he's not feeling well. He is 100% boy. I've never seen a kid take so many face plants in my life.

 

[LdiJ]

If my little boy doesn't have a bruise and/or a goose egg somewhere on his forehead, I know he's not feeling well. He is 100% boy. I've never seen a kid take so many face plants in my life.

My two year old granddaughter has twice run herself into the corner of my computer desk and given herself some bruising on her face. She also trips all the time and goes "splat" and once in a while has a bruise somewhere from that.

Kids do get bruises...its part of being a kid.

However, I do think that if a child has bruises, and multiple times has said that a specific person is hitting them, that it should be taken seriously. I just hope that this isn't one of those cases where the child is telling dad that because the child thinks its what dad wants to hear.

 

[fairisfair]

My two year old granddaughter has twice run herself into the corner of my computer desk and given herself some bruising on her face. She also trips all the time and goes "splat" and once in a while has a bruise somewhere from that.

Kids do get bruises...its part of being a kid.

However, I do think that if a child has bruises, and multiple times has said that a specific person is hitting them, that it should be taken seriously. I just hope that this isn't one of those cases where the child is telling dad that because the child thinks its what dad wants to hear.

Seriously? Isn't that just a little over a 5 year old's imagination? I mean, they might say it once to get attention, but sooner or later they trip up, or stop saying it at all.

Does your granddaughter tell people that someone is hitting her?

I am sure that we all "hope" this isn't happening. I am sure we all "hope" MORE that if it is, someone does something to make it stop.

 

[LdiJ]

Seriously? Isn't that just a little over a 5 year old's imagination? I mean, they might say it once to get attention, but sooner or later they trip up, or stop saying it at all.

Does your granddaughter tell people that someone is hitting her?

I am sure that we all "hope" this isn't happening. I am sure we all "hope" MORE that if it is, someone does something to make it stop.

No, I don't think its beyond a 5 year old's imagination to say that kind of thing if that is what a 5 year old believes the parent wants to hear. Unfortunately that is something that does happen fairly frequently out in the world.

This absolutely does need to be taken seriously...I did state that.

 

[masopa]

Kids do get bruises...its part of being a kid.

I completely agree about the bruises. My son's legs especially are covered in them - what can I say, he's kind of a klutz...

However, the bruises that his school has been documenting have not been "typical" and they always appear after weekends with mom. The school documents what they see fit.

I just hope that this isn't one of those cases where the child is telling dad that because the child thinks its what dad wants to hear.

As for my son telling me what he thinks I want to hear: my son first told one of his teachers. Teacher saw him sitting by himself on the playground crying and asked him about it. She was the first person he told. I talked to him about it once, and then we've let the therapist probe this issue. I ask him about his weekend in general and he again this week brought up that the BF hit him again.

I was contacted by the PO on Friday. Seems he issued an arrest warrant for the BF, who said he would cooperate. The PO said that we could ask for a no contact order if the BF is released pending further investigation (something like that).

 

[mommyof4]

I completely agree about the bruises. My son's legs especially are covered in them - what can I say, he's kind of a klutz...

However, the bruises that his school has been documenting have not been "typical" and they always appear after weekends with mom. The school documents what they see fit.



As for my son telling me what he thinks I want to hear: my son first told one of his teachers. Teacher saw him sitting by himself on the playground crying and asked him about it. She was the first person he told. I talked to him about it once, and then we've let the therapist probe this issue. I ask him about his weekend in general and he again this week brought up that the BF hit him again.

I was contacted by the PO on Friday. Seems he issued an arrest warrant for the BF, who said he would cooperate. The PO said that we could ask for a no contact order if the BF is released pending further investigation (something like that).

Excellent. (Well, not that your son is probably being hurt.) You are handling this perfectly with your son and I'm glad that there is some avenue to help you protect him.

 

[LdiJ]

I completely agree about the bruises. My son's legs especially are covered in them - what can I say, he's kind of a klutz...

However, the bruises that his school has been documenting have not been "typical" and they always appear after weekends with mom. The school documents what they see fit.



As for my son telling me what he thinks I want to hear: my son first told one of his teachers. Teacher saw him sitting by himself on the playground crying and asked him about it. She was the first person he told. I talked to him about it once, and then we've let the therapist probe this issue. I ask him about his weekend in general and he again this week brought up that the BF hit him again.

I was contacted by the PO on Friday. Seems he issued an arrest warrant for the BF, who said he would cooperate. The PO said that we could ask for a no contact order if the BF is released pending further investigation (something like that).

Good...then its not a situation where your son is telling you what he thinks you want to hear....and GREAT that stepdad's PO issued a warrant and is willing to ask for a no contact order pending investigation.

 

[gawbaw]

Did I miss something? I thought it was a boyfriend not a stepdad.

 

[Just Blue]

I completely agree about the bruises. My son's legs especially are covered in them - what can I say, he's kind of a klutz...

However, the bruises that his school has been documenting have not been "typical" and they always appear after weekends with mom. The school documents what they see fit.



As for my son telling me what he thinks I want to hear: my son first told one of his teachers. Teacher saw him sitting by himself on the playground crying and asked him about it. She was the first person he told. I talked to him about it once, and then we've let the therapist probe this issue. I ask him about his weekend in general and he again this week brought up that the BF hit him again.

I was contacted by the PO on Friday. Seems he issued an arrest warrant for the BF, who said he would cooperate. The PO said that we could ask for a no contact order if the BF is released pending further investigation (something like that).

I am truely sorry that your son is going through this abuse...I can't imagine how difficult it must be for him to visit with his mother when she allows her boyfriend to hit him. Sickening!

You did handle this perfectly...good job. Get the RO and talk to an attorney about supervised visitation for Mom pending the investigation. Good luck and give the little guy a "hug" from me...

 

[GrandmaOH]

I completely agree about the bruises. My son's legs especially are covered in them - what can I say, he's kind of a klutz...

However, the bruises that his school has been documenting have not been "typical" and they always appear after weekends with mom. The school documents what they see fit.



As for my son telling me what he thinks I want to hear: my son first told one of his teachers. Teacher saw him sitting by himself on the playground crying and asked him about it. She was the first person he told. I talked to him about it once, and then we've let the therapist probe this issue. I ask him about his weekend in general and he again this week brought up that the BF hit him again.

I was contacted by the PO on Friday. Seems he issued an arrest warrant for the BF, who said he would cooperate. The PO said that we could ask for a no contact order if the BF is released pending further investigation (something like that).

I'd like to point out one more thing about being hit in the stomach. I've been hit twice in my life that were hard enough to knock the wind out of me, leaving me feeling like I couldn't breathe to the point of blacking out. First as a kid, accident by an older brother; second as an adult when a cow rammed me hard enough to also crack my sternum. Neither time left any bruising! A bit sore, but not much different feeling than being really ticklish. By the time any injuries show on the abdomen there will likely be internal injuries.
Good luck with the no contact order.