Soon to be 18 year old with parents co-owning car and bank account

[Wolfie_Waffle]

I have a friend in North Carolina, who has had a personal disagreement with their family. They have told me that if they try to "run away" after high school, their parents will take their car and freeze their bank account, they told me their parents are co-owners of both. We want to be roommates but can't if they don't have any of their money or car to move, and since they are co-owner of the account and car I wonder if they get any say in the matter.

What can the co-owner of a bank account and car do legally? They will be 18 in about a year.

 

[CdwJava]

Well, until your friend is 18, their parents have pretty much ALL the say over who they associate with, where they go, etc. After your friend turns 18, they can work things out with their parents or they can leave and run the risk that they will not have a car or their belongings with them. What the co-owner of a car or bank account might do depends upon how these things are written up.

Are YOU in North Carolina? If not, is this "friend" someone you only know from the internet? Have you actually met them?

 

[Wolfie_Waffle]

I am not in NC, they are an internet friend. Their parents have pretty much banned them from the internet so they don't have time to research what they could get if they left as soon as they turn 18. They don't want to live near their parents, but also cannot move away because of the parents holding the account and car. I think they want to know who actually _owns_ the money and car, and who can do what with it, since once they turn 18 the car will be both their property and their parents property.

Do they have any ownership of these things since the parents have them as a co-owner, which sounds like giving them part ownership to me, or should they just accept that their parents own it and do not wish to give it to them if they don't do what their parents want?

 

[CdwJava]

Once again, until this friend is 18 they have few legal options and cannot really press a claim to much of anything that their parents do not agree to.

Having ownership means nothing if you can't assert that ownership. Once they turn 18, they are free to go to their state's department of motor vehicles and see what must be done to transfer the vehicle into their name alone, and check with the bank. If they leave home without parental approval and the parents hold onto the car and the bank account, your friend will have to go to court to wrest control from them. He or she might win, but they'd have to go the long way through court. It would be better to simply work with their parents for a way to move out that would appease them.

Depending on the type of bank account, it may be under the control of the parents entirely. Or, it may be something that one or both may agree upon to transfer into their name. If your friend can access the funds on their own, then they can open their own account at age 18 and withdraw money from the shared account into their own. Until then, this may not be possible. Same with the car. Depending on how the title or registration is set up (and I am unfamiliar with these procedures in NC), it may require that both parties agree to a transfer.

Now, a few questions ... and, concerns.

First, you say this person has restricted access to the internet. Yet, they apparently have sufficient time and access to contact you. If they have a phone, a laptop, or most any wifi device, they can certainly do some quick internet searches on their own. It is simply unrealistic to think that they have time to chat with you but not make a couple of internet searches of their own.

Second, have they asked you for money or other resources?

Third, have you ever met them in real life? (As in, in person and face to face without a computer screen, phone or tablet between you?)

My personal thought here is that you are being played. If not for money or financial gain, than for some twisted sense of pleasure on their end. I'm going to guess that the person on the other end of the line is interested in some form of romantic/sexual relationship and has titillated you with that particular lure. The situation you describe, and the circumstances surrounding this "relationship", are nearly identical to many I have read about and even had to investigate because they advanced into the criminal sphere from the ass-hat realm.

Now, I may be completely wrong with my suppositions above, but, this situation has a bit of an aroma to it. But, if I am wrong, this friend still has some choices to make - the top two most likely being ... Move out at 18 and risk not having a car or access to a bank account, or, work with their parents so they might move with more than the clothes on their back or a bitter fight out the door.

 

[Wolfie_Waffle]

Yeah, sounds pretty much what I expected. From what they've described it doesn't sound like sorting it out with the government will be their best option, they don't want to rock the boat even more and will probably just stay in the state. As for the other stuff they haven't asked me for money, and it was my idea for them to move to my state in the first place. I just didn't like the way their parents were limiting their options to control their life and wanted to know if they had any legal options. But if it's going to have to be something that they have to take charge on, they might just want to instead try to make as much peace as they can, and work from where they can to get more money to start with as you said. Thanks for the answer either way.

 

[Zigner]

I just didn't like the way their parents were limiting their options to control their life...

They're not limiting options, they are simply presenting the world to the person as it really is. You gotta work for your stuff and not just expect it to be handed to you.

 

[stealth2]

They're not limiting options, they are simply presenting the world to the person as it really is. You gotta work for your stuff and not just expect it to be handed to you.

They're being parents. And having been in their shoes? My Spidey-senses are on full tingle.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Yeah, sounds pretty much what I expected. From what they've described it doesn't sound like sorting it out with the government will be their best option, they don't want to rock the boat even more and will probably just stay in the state. As for the other stuff they haven't asked me for money, and it was my idea for them to move to my state in the first place. I just didn't like the way their parents were limiting their options to control their life and wanted to know if they had any legal options. But if it's going to have to be something that they have to take charge on, they might just want to instead try to make as much peace as they can, and work from where they can to get more money to start with as you said. Thanks for the answer either way.

This is none of your business.

Legally and morally, this is none of your business.

I will suggest that you start respecting your friend's parents as being legally entitled to parent their child however they see fit, within the constraints of the law, and stop encouraging your friend to run away.

If your friend's parents find out what you've been doing, they might explore what their legal options are, regarding you.

 

[CdwJava]

I have to say that I had such control over my kid's lives as well. When they were minors, their names did not appear on ANY vehicle. Even as adults, all of their cars were in my name and theirs until they were able to pay for the car themselves and refinanced the loans into their names alone, or, it was paid off and they took it over including the insurance. We also opened bank accounts with them as minors where they could deposit money, but only one of us could make withdrawals. I just transferred my youngest son's account to him since he turned 18 a few months ago and graduated high school 2 weeks ago. (Now if I could only turn over all the cars!)

Parents tend to exercise control over their minor children. They also tend to try and limit self-destructive activity. If my 18 year old son was looking to leave the state with no greater plan than rooming with some stranger they met online, I would be exceedingly concerned and would do all I could to tie an anchor about their ankle to keep them here until they could think of a REAL plan.

I am also not convinced that this is not some twisted catfish tale you're being fed. Believe me when I tell you that there are people out there who get off on drawing people into their tales of teenage woe when, in reality, they are neither a teen nor in suffering woe.