soon to be X smoking stuff in our house..Help!

[>Charlotte<]

Married Couples of non-same sex to be required to obtain a license to procreate?

Although I feel I really should, I have a hard time thinking of that as a bad idea.

 

[Ohiogal]

A CPS caseworker once told me that if every CPS center, in every state, had to deal with every parent who smoked pot, that the whole system would completely break down. The same CPS caseworker told me that their main objective was to make sure that any substance abuse didn't negatively impact the children....basically the same thing that you are saying.

That is the philosophy. And before anyone decides to say that marijuana is illegal -- yes we know and the CPS workers know however the big thing for CPS is NOT to bust criminals but make sure that children are safe and protected. If the pot is NOT negatively affecting the children, then it is NOT an issue for CPS.

 

[mistoffolees]

That is the philosophy. And before anyone decides to say that marijuana is illegal -- yes we know and the CPS workers know however the big thing for CPS is NOT to bust criminals but make sure that children are safe and protected. If the pot is NOT negatively affecting the children, then it is NOT an issue for CPS.

This is a philosophical view and not a legal one, but as far as I'm concerned, whatever people want to do on their own is OK with me. But if they're smoking pot when the kids are around, it's harmful on a lot of levels.

But I guess CPS has far more serious matters that take up their time and going after all the pot users just isn't practical.

 

[Ohiogal]

This is a philosophical view and not a legal one, but as far as I'm concerned, whatever people want to do on their own is OK with me. But if they're smoking pot when the kids are around, it's harmful on a lot of levels.

But I guess CPS has far more serious matters that take up their time and going after all the pot users just isn't practical.

Here is the thing -- I am in juvenile court consistently and I have seen children removed from their parents for cases involving marijuana but it also included something else. Usually linked the pot. HOWEVER, if it was JUST marijuana with nothing else, the children were not removed. There may be a voluntary case plan opened.
CPS/CSB does have far more serious matters -- children who are beaten bloody, children who have been neglected with no food/no proper clothing/no medical care, children who have contusions from "discipline", children who are left without proper supervision while mom and/or dad decide to do drug runs and the children at a young age (think three or four) are wandering the street. It is a priority thing especially considering the limited funds. In Ohio Children's Services is funded by LEVIES. The taxpayers vote on whether to increase funding or continue funding beyond bare minimums.

 

[jacob333]

You people are very harsh!

I am not controlling at all. All I try to do is be respectful to her.
I have concrete proof that she cheated, and is smoking pot in our house.
I moved out so my kids can sleep in their own beds, since that is the way our schedules are.
I have asked, and asked, and asked very nicely for her to stop smoking for the sake of our kids, and our kids only! Not for me to over power her.
I understand that there is nothing I can do about her bringing guys in our house, but is it really that unreasonable to ask her not to.
I fill like I am being very misunderstood here!
ALL I WANT IS FOR MY BOYS TO LIVE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT.

 

[jacob333]

I do agree that CPS has bigger problems to handle...so with that said I won't even bother.
Is the house considered marital property if we bought it before we were married, and it’s only in my name?
Also, do any of you recommend a good web site to do our dissolution paper work, or can they be trusted?

 

[mistoffolees]

You people are very harsh!

I am not controlling at all. All I try to do is be respectful to her.
I have concrete proof that she cheated, and is smoking pot in our house.
I moved out so my kids can sleep in their own beds, since that is the way our schedules are.
I have asked, and asked, and asked very nicely for her to stop smoking for the sake of our kids, and our kids only! Not for me to over power her.
I understand that there is nothing I can do about her bringing guys in our house, but is it really that unreasonable to ask her not to.
I fill like I am being very misunderstood here!
ALL I WANT IS FOR MY BOYS TO LIVE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT.

You may not think you're being controlling, but putting signs all over the place and trying to tell her who she can have as a friend is very controlling.

IMHO, telling her she can not have any men in the house IS unreasonable. If you were to request that she were not to have any overnight male guests, that would be far more reasonable, but what's wrong with her having male friends - or even dating - since you no longer want to be part of her life?

She is a grown woman and can make her own choices. You are free to leave if you wish or stay. You are free to request that the court order something, but they're not going to do anything unreasonable. If you can show that something she is doing is a serious danger to the kids, you are free to take appropriate action. You are not free to tell her how to live her life.

 

[mistoffolees]

Is the house considered marital property if we bought it before we were married, and it’s only in my name?

If you've used marital funds (such as your salary) to pay the mortgage and maintenance, you're going to have to split the increase in equity with her.

 

[jacob333]

OK.....after rereading my first thread, I can now see why you all call me controlling. I repeatedly said the words "told", and "force". So I understand how you see that.
But understand.... I have asked, and asked very nicely, when we where happily married, and after. She has never shown respect, and after asking 100 times, I am trying everything I can to keep my home smoke free.
I appreciate all of your comments, and I thank you for your advice. I now know I am pretty much screwed, just like it’s always been from the beginning.

 

[Bali Hai]

You people are very harsh!

I am not controlling at all. All I try to do is be respectful to her.
I have concrete proof that she cheated, and is smoking pot in our house.
I moved out so my kids can sleep in their own beds, since that is the way our schedules are.
I have asked, and asked, and asked very nicely for her to stop smoking for the sake of our kids, and our kids only! Not for me to over power her.
I understand that there is nothing I can do about her bringing guys in our house, but is it really that unreasonable to ask her not to.
I fill like I am being very misunderstood here!
ALL I WANT IS FOR MY BOYS TO LIVE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT.

I have been holding my tongue throughout this thread in the hopes that someone would post something that would make things a little clearer for you. Since that did not happen, I guess I will have to be the one to do it.

You came to a family law forum with the questions that you had because you are ignorant of how the family law system works, or you would have just took the appropriate action any husband would have living under your conditions and kicked the sh!t out the boyfriend and thrown her ass out with him!!

The family court system is set up for WOMEN and unless you get a sex change, you will be the underdog in that system without question.

If YOU had pulled the irresponsible, idiotic and sub-human that your wife did and she took YOU to court, the judge would have cut your nuts off in front of everyone right there in the court room!!

I hope you have a clearer understanding of why you feel you have been treated badly here.

 

[jacob333]

Thank you Bali....Finally, someone who understands a little bit.
Trust me...I wanted to do..excatly that. And I still do! But that won't do me any good, or my kids. THE SYSTEM SUCKS!!!!!!

I will just stick it out, until she leaves, and hope for the best.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thank you Bali....Finally, someone who understands a little bit.

ROTFLMAO.

Hint to OP. Any time that you're agreeing with Bali, it's a bad sign.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you Bali....Finally, someone who understands a little bit.
Trust me...I wanted to do..excatly that. And I still do! But that won't do me any good, or my kids. THE SYSTEM SUCKS!!!!!!

I will just stick it out, until she leaves, and hope for the best.

You have options. YOu move back in, file for divorce and file for a temporary order giving you custody, sole possession of the marital home and child support as well as a "no paramour" order.