Thanks to all who responded with the various opinions.
I never meant to convey that I was trying to get my son out of any punishment at this point and on the one hand am quite annoyed at him and he realizes this. But (and I suspect only somebody close to a "special " child can understand this) on the other hand, I'm thrilled. For him to be in trouble for being naughty with a bunch of other boys is a milestone that had you asked me a few years ago, I'd've said he'd never reach. Missing a few recesses and having to write an apology are things I am fine with. Only if something further were to happen and the school were to try to remove him from the cafeteria longer term, would I then fall back on his disability to object.
I did end up consulting an education attorney. Similar to the people here, he feels the letter is at most a trivial violation or not a violation. He does however feel that removal from the cafeteria could be a change in placement.
I never meant to convey that I was trying to get my son out of any punishment at this point and on the one hand am quite annoyed at him and he realizes this. But (and I suspect only somebody close to a "special " child can understand this) on the other hand, I'm thrilled. For him to be in trouble for being naughty with a bunch of other boys is a milestone that had you asked me a few years ago, I'd've said he'd never reach. Missing a few recesses and having to write an apology are things I am fine with. Only if something further were to happen and the school were to try to remove him from the cafeteria longer term, would I then fall back on his disability to object.
I did end up consulting an education attorney. Similar to the people here, he feels the letter is at most a trivial violation or not a violation. He does however feel that removal from the cafeteria could be a change in placement.