spouse is a registered sex offender

[Bali Hai]

While it has already been considered and deemed unavailable due to the cruel and unusual punishment issue, this is one time I don't disagree with you.

The problem is that there are too many Dr. Phil's in the western cultures. Penalties for serious crimes are a joke. Drastic acts call for drastic measures.

I've been to countries where the law and punishment are very serious and no joke. At customs there is a huge yellow sign with bold black letters "DEATH PENALITY TO DRUG SMUGGLERS", and they mean it.

Google "The Bali Nine". If this country wants to deter criminal behavior we have to get serious about it.

 

[Proserpina]

While it has already been considered and deemed unavailable due to the cruel and unusual punishment issue, this is one time I don't disagree with you.

This just in:

Pro agrees with Bali.

Story at 11.

(although there's a secondary issue we're politely ignoring, it seems)

 

[TigerD]

Wow. I totally disagree with this thread.

The OP isn't asking anyone else to forgive her spouse. She probably has a hard enough time doing that herself. She is simply interested in protecting herself from hubby's crimes. Some people take the "For Better or Worse" part of their vows seriously. She is going to have a tough time as her husband's offense will impact every part of their lives for entire time they are together.

I think she should seriously consider sitting down with a criminal defense attorney to discuss the impacts of hubby's potential release on her, an estate planning attorney to protect her assets going forward, and a therapist to help reach come to terms the emotional decision she made/is making.

Before we attack her any further, I'd just like to point out that she is also victim of his crime - it surely has impacted her employment, friends, family, and made her daily life far more difficult. So some compassion for her doesn't seem to be too out of line.

TD
(formerly known as DC)

 

[Bali Hai]

Wow. I totally disagree with this thread.

The OP isn't asking anyone else to forgive her spouse. She probably has a hard enough time doing that herself. She is simply interested in protecting herself from hubby's crimes. Some people take the "For Better or Worse" part of their vows seriously. She is going to have a tough time as her husband's offense will impact every part of their lives for entire time they are together.

I think she should seriously consider sitting down with a criminal defense attorney to discuss the impacts of hubby's potential release on her, an estate planning attorney to protect her assets going forward, and a therapist to help reach come to terms the emotional decision she made/is making.

Before we attack her any further, I'd just like to point out that she is also victim of his crime - it surely has impacted her employment, friends, family, and made her daily life far more difficult. So some compassion for her doesn't seem to be too out of line.

TD
(formerly known as DC)

Not so sure she is a victim. Dr. Phil needs to investigate.

 

[Proserpina]

Wow. I totally disagree with this thread.

The OP isn't asking anyone else to forgive her spouse. She probably has a hard enough time doing that herself. She is simply interested in protecting herself from hubby's crimes. Some people take the "For Better or Worse" part of their vows seriously. She is going to have a tough time as her husband's offense will impact every part of their lives for entire time they are together.

I think she should seriously consider sitting down with a criminal defense attorney to discuss the impacts of hubby's potential release on her, an estate planning attorney to protect her assets going forward, and a therapist to help reach come to terms the emotional decision she made/is making.

Before we attack her any further, I'd just like to point out that she is also victim of his crime - it surely has impacted her employment, friends, family, and made her daily life far more difficult. So some compassion for her doesn't seem to be too out of line.

TD
(formerly known as DC)

It's difficult to show compassion to a person who, if it weren't for the possible financial repercussions, apparently wouldn't be considering divorce in the first place despite his crime.

 

[Just Blue]

Wow. I totally disagree with this thread.

The OP isn't asking anyone else to forgive her spouse. She probably has a hard enough time doing that herself. She is simply interested in protecting herself from hubby's crimes. Some people take the "For Better or Worse" part of their vows seriously. She is going to have a tough time as her husband's offense will impact every part of their lives for entire time they are together.

I think she should seriously consider sitting down with a criminal defense attorney to discuss the impacts of hubby's potential release on her, an estate planning attorney to protect her assets going forward, and a therapist to help reach come to terms the emotional decision she made/is making.

Before we attack her any further, I'd just like to point out that she is also victim of his crime - it surely has impacted her employment, friends, family, and made her daily life far more difficult. So some compassion for her doesn't seem to be too out of line.

TD
(formerly known as DC)

TD...With all due respect...

The wording of the OP in her posting is ...off. She has the right to protect her $$...but the forgiving is up to the VICTIM of this crime. She is just divorcing to avoid money issue cause the guy raped a child. Per her wording of her post...she would be just fine staying married to the pig if not for the bucks involved.

 

[stealth2]

And when we don't want animals to do this, we neuter them. If one acts like an animal, one should be treated like an animal.

Neutered animals "hump", too. Even females.

 

[TigerD]

TD...With all due respect...

The wording of the OP in her posting is ...off. She has the right to protect her $$...but the forgiving is up to the VICTIM of this crime. She is just divorcing to avoid money issue cause the guy raped a child. Per her wording of her post...she would be just fine staying married to the pig if not for the bucks involved.

The original post said nothing about rape. It said he was convicted of a sex crime against a minor. That could be just about anything from inadvertently possessing child porn to any range of sex related crime.

And it is up to her to forgive her husband for what he put her through and the damage he did to their family. Let's not confuse the wrathful anger some of us have against him, for her concerns for her family.

TD

 

[Bali Hai]

Neutered animals "hump", too. Even females.

Well, this has just got to stop!

 

[I'mTheFather]

Totally off-topic, but I like the new name!

 

[Proserpina]

The original post said nothing about rape. It said he was convicted of a sex crime against a minor. That could be just about anything from inadvertently possessing child porn to any range of sex related crime.

And it is up to her to forgive her husband for what he put her through and the damage he did to their family. Let's not confuse the wrathful anger some of us have against him, for her concerns for her family.

TD

Yes, it is up to her to forgive him. He's committed an atrocious act without giving a single flying ferret fart about his wife. And yes, she DOES need to get things straightened out financially.

But this is an incredibly emotional issue and yep, people are going to react based upon (at least in part) emotion. I know I did.

We can (and should) be reacting to the actual legal issue. "Just the facts, Ma'am.. as long as it caters to someone else's agenda, anyway".

(And I defy any poster here to claim that we always answer based purely on facts - you, me and everyone else knows that isn't true. Never has been, and despite protestations to the contrary, never will be. Worse still, that "rule" tends to be applied only when an unsuspecting querent is demonized to the point where s/he becomes defensive and realizes that s/he can't win for losing. But I digress)

Yeah, now I've completely forgotten where the heck I was going here.

 

[Bali Hai]

Yes, it is up to her to forgive him. He's committed an atrocious act without giving a single flying ferret fart about his wife. And yes, she DOES need to get things straightened out financially.

But this is an incredibly emotional issue and yep, people are going to react based upon (at least in part) emotion. I know I did.

We can (and should) be reacting to the actual legal issue. "Just the facts, Ma'am.. as long as it caters to someone else's agenda, anyway".

(And I defy any poster here to claim that we always answer based purely on facts - you, me and everyone else knows that isn't true. Never has been, and despite protestations to the contrary, never will be. Worse still, that "rule" tends to be applied only when an unsuspecting querent is demonized to the point where s/he becomes defensive and realizes that s/he can't win for losing. But I digress)

Yeah, now I've completely forgotten where the heck I was going here.

I still love you Pro!

 

[davew128]

Not for nothing, but did anyone bother to ask what the crime actually was before getting on their soap box? What if the crime was sex with a 16 year old in Albany, NY which wouldn't even BE a crime just a few miles east in Chicopee, MA? The point is, everyone condemning the man for life doesn't even know what he did.

 

[Bali Hai]

Not for nothing, but did anyone bother to ask what the crime actually was before getting on their soap box? What if the crime was sex with a 16 year old in Albany, NY which wouldn't even BE a crime just a few miles east in Chicopee, MA? The point is, everyone condemning the man for life doesn't even know what he did.

He is a man, guilty until proven innocent.

 

[Silverplum]

Neutered animals "hump", too. Even females.

I miss signature lines.