State Aid and Custody

[bononos]

"The fact that my ex has LEGAL custody of the children does NOT affect my ability to apply for state aid. I PHYSICALLY have the children a little more than 50% of the time. I have ALREADY spoken to the people at the DFS office, and I KNOW that I will qualify for state aid (pregnant or not) based on my income and the time that the children are in my care."

You made this statement, and exaggerated LEGAL in the first sentence. You can apply for assistance for yourself, but to apply for the child, you need ex's permission. He has the LEGAL right to make that decision.

Ex.
My ex applied for assistance for him and our child. 50/50 physical & legal. I had son on health ins. plan that is "income sensitive" (cheaper ins. for people who earn too much for assistance, but not enough to afford the big plans). Childs ins. was canceled due to him gaining assistance. I could have filed contempt since he should have asked if this was ok, JOINT decision. Instead, I reported ex since he was not properly claiming income and was rooking the system.

Your ex has SOLE decision making, so you would be in contempt to apply for assistance for the CHILD without his permission. If YOU want it for YOU, that's fine.

 

[CJane]

You made this statement, and exaggerated LEGAL in the first sentence. You can apply for assistance for yourself, but to apply for the child, you need ex's permission. He has the LEGAL right to make that decision.

I'm not sure this is correct info for my state. When I spoke to DFS, I supplied them with copies of my order, and I spoke to an attorney. According to them, I don't need his permission for anything like this. Of course, I'll look into it further.

Now, there's a timeline here that people seem to be missing.

My divorce was final in Jan 04. On THAT DAY, I was offered a full-time position in a nearby town. I had been a stay at home mom for the past 5 years, and this was the first job offer I'd had in the 8 months I'd been sending out resumes and attending interviews. Of course, I accepted it.

I used my settlement $ from the divorce to pay 6 months advance rent on a townhouse that was 12 or so miles from the ex's house, and about 15 miles from the school that my then first grader attended. We moved in in February.

In August, I was laid off from my job when they filed bankruptcy, and was suddenly unemployed. It was another 2 months before I found a job. In the meantime, I sold everything that I could, borrowed from friends and family to pay rent/buy groceries/buy school supplies for my kids/etc. It was during that time that I originally thought about applying for assistance. However, before I actually got through all of the hurdles, I was offered another position. Again, I accepted it and stopped my attempt to get assistance.

I am still working (not sure where Rmet got the idea that I'm not) full-time plus, usually around 50 hours/week between my actual time at the office and time that I spend logged in from home. The only time I will be 'not working' will be the few weeks I take off after this baby is born this winter. I'm also lucky enough that the company that I work for allows me to take time off for Dr's appointments, school events, etc, and to bring the kids to work with me if necessary. I'm not leaving this job any time soon. However, I don't make a whole lot of money here, and neither do most other people in this part of Missouri. I don't know where some of y'all live, but the economy here has sucked for about 20 years, and it's not getting better any time soon.

MissouriGal ~ I AM requesting that the child support issue be revisited, since when the originial decree was issued, my ex and I were both unemployed, and none was ordered and that situation has changed for BOTH of us.

Rmet ~ My ex did not 'choose to allow me liberal parenting time'. We sat down together the night before we were to go to court for the divorce and created our own parenting plan. Over a year later, he began violating that parenting plan, and I decided to speak to an attorney about my rights. That led to the modification motion.

I originally spoke to my attorney in March. I filed the motion to modify and served the ex in May. I moved in with my boyfriend in June. My ex counterfiled his request for sole custody a week later.

I began thinking (again) about filing for public assistance just in the past week or so - in anticipation of the 4-6 weeks I'll be out of work in January/February when this baby is born. And yeah, I'll include all 3 kids in the filing because I will be providing care for all 3 of them. Not sure why that is so difficult a concept to grasp.

 

[bononos]

I'm not sure this is correct info for my state. When I spoke to DFS, I supplied them with copies of my order, and I spoke to an attorney. According to them, I don't need his permission for anything like this. Of course, I'll look into it further.

If you think that the decision of what insurance plan the child is on is not a decision the LEGAL parent makes, your sadly mistaken. And, so far it seems your ex has made it clear he does not want the child on it, right?
It's HIS LEGAL decision.
Again, get assistance for yourself, not the child.

 

[CJane]

If you think that the decision of what insurance plan the child is on is not a decision the LEGAL parent makes, your sadly mistaken. And, so far it seems your ex has made it clear he does not want the child on it, right?
It's HIS LEGAL decision.
Again, get assistance for yourself, not the child.

Ummm, not seeking medical assistance. The kids are on the ex's plan through his employer (something he had to have MY agreement to do, since I'm the one court ordered to provide insurance and was doing so). I have health insurance through my employer that covers me and will cover my child. My boyfriend has insurance through the county in which he's a Deputy.

Anything else?

 

[bononos]

"Anything else?"
Yes, there is something else.
I'd tone down the attitude a bit. You may be huffy because you didn't like what others said, but don't take it out on me.
Now that you have explained that health ins. will not be changed, here is the link for PA food stamps, you can apply online now to make it easier.
http://www.fns.usda.gov/fsp/outreach/states/pennsylvania.htm

 

[CJane]

"Anything else?"
Yes, there is something else.
I'd tone down the attitude a bit. You may be huffy because you didn't like what others said, but don't take it out on me.
Now that you have explained that health ins. will not be changed, here is the link for PA food stamps, you can apply online now to make it easier.
http://www.fns.usda.gov/fsp/outreach/states/pennsylvania.htm

My attitude has nothing to do with the answers that I've received to my actual question. I apologize if you took offense to my 'anything else', I am just feeling as if very few people who have responded to this thread have actually answered my original question. I realize that occasionally threads evolve, but I'm thinking it's more than a little absurd that a simple question like my original one has been turned into Rmet's disection of my intent/motivations/job status/commute time/parenting skills/religious beliefs/pregnancy/boyfriend's ability to support his child/ren/etc.

Thanks for the link, but that's for Pennsylvania. I'll check whether the same service is available for MO after I've made a decision about whether or not I'm actually going to apply.

And yes, I was a little 'huffy' toward you specifically because of your comment about me being 'sadly mistaken'. I have said over and over that while he has 'legal custody', the plan is actually written as if it's a joint plan. It's very clearly stated in the plan that I am to provide health insurance. I was doing so, and he signed them up for his plan at work without consulting me, which disqualified them for the plan that they were on, and resulted in ME having to pay HIM for uncovered medical costs since the plan he put them on is not as good as the one they were on through me.

His status as legal custodian is NOT the same as what we normally think of when we hear it. According to our parenting plan, it actually affords him no more rights than I have when it comes to decision making, except that he gets to choose their daycare provider and their church. That's it.

 

[bononos]

Sorry, I thought you were in PA. I think I confused you with someone else.

http://www.dss.mo.gov/fsd/fstamp/