stealing from family member

[LONDONDERRY]

What is the name of your state? NH

 

[moburkes]

What is the name of your state? NH

Greetings-
I know this is a long thread to read, but if you do you'll understand my nightmare situation better.

Six months ago my wife was caught on video taking $20.00 from my sister. So my sister has demanded a total of $700.00 from us from her guess-mation and mentioned specific dates when cash was taken. Some of these dates confilict due to the fact that we where out of town and not near my sister's house. And to be honest, I can't remeber what my weekly grocery bill was 6 months ago, let alone money and dates. Plus one time she said 500 then 600 then 800 and now its 700.

My wife did admit that the total was close to 400-500. So my wife and I talked alot about the amount owed, we opted to pay out $500.00 in cash even though my sister has no proof or provided us with any, that it was my wife. Because my sister is a person that usually yells and vents when she's upset typically on the phone. I didn't attempt to expain the amount we where going to pay.

My mother and wife talked in length on the subjects of be sorry for her actions and hurting everyone and I believe my mother realised my wife more than likely didn't take that amount. So now my wife and mom are in good grace with each other thank God.

To be on the safe side we contacted a criminal attorney, prosecuting attorney and the local police and they all said the same. That we are bound to $20.00 and no more, and because we paided out $500, restution has been made in the eyes of the law and there not going to arrest someone for $20. In addtion, they all mentioned, if my sister demaded the full amount, without the burden of proof, thats considered a class B feloncy with extortion and black mail. As you might have guess, she called last week and wants the full amount, by this Thursday regardless. The timing could not have been worst, we found out my wife is two week pregnant and have not told anyone, though we are happy.

So as usual I find myself stuck in the middle and me and my wife have to do everything in our power to keep everyone happy (esp. my sister) and not rock the boat regardles of what we got going on. For example, my sister wrote a pretty hatefull letter to us and even sent a copy to my mother. But then 2 weeks later she invites me and my little daughter over her house for pancakes. Hun?

The $200 difference isn't alot of money and I would pay it but my wife keeps on mentioning she never took that amount and my sister doesn't have any proof. Plus my wife has confessed to everyone (esp my mom and sister) on her behaviour, but refusses toc confess to certain dates and times, which I back her up because I was with her.

So if I pay my sister my wife is upset with me, if I don't pay my sister and mom are upset with me. I just want this problem to go away forever where am I going wrong?

Is that your legal question. My response is: divorce your wife (at least stay until the baby is born), and stay away from your sister.

Your wife is a thief, by the way, regardless of how much money she stole.

 

[outonbail]

I find very few things as disturbing as family members that believe it's OK to steal from each other. You should pay your sister back every penny she is requesting, whether she can prove it or not.
Then this jewel of a comment:

My wife did admit that the total was close to 400-500

If she was taking twenty at a time, then how could she remember the exact amount. Not that the exact amount is the issue here. I assume your wife was with visiting your sister when all this stealing took place. Was she an invited guest? Eating lunch and or dinner provided by your sister?

It's usually the generous people, the one's who think nothing of helping out friends and family and ask nothing in return, that end up getting screwed by the people they help.

Sorry, but this kind of thing just rubs me the wrong way. How you can sit there and think your wife can say "sorry" and everything's all better, is beyond me. This is not about $500.00 and I'll explain why.
I can assure you, that because of your wife's uncivilized actions, there are many unknowns and coincidental's which your not aware of and don't seem in the least bit concerned with.
Like, how many other relatives has she stolen from? How many other people did your sister blame when money came up missing before she suspected your wife? Has she lost friends because of blaming someone else? How many times was the money the difference between going out to the movies for the night and sitting home on the porch to watch the grass grow? Who's birthday present was your sister planning on buying with money that suddenly vanished along with the plans of using it for recreation or necessities? Could her power been shut off because of this money not being there or was she late making a credit payment or motgage payment and ended up paying penalties or having marks go against her credit?

Maybe none of these things happened and maybe all of them happened, you have no way of knowing do you?

Pay your sister more than she's asking and keep your poor excuse for a wife on a leash when you take her out of the house. Maybe she'll learns to act like a civilized human being instead of an animal,,,, but I doubt it. You'll be right by her side until she stabs you in the back some day. Then you'll really know how your sister and mother feel.

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state? NH

Greetings-
I know this is a long thread to read, but if you do you'll understand my nightmare situation better.

Six months ago my wife was caught on video taking $20.00 from my sister. So my sister has demanded a total of $700.00 from us from her guess-mation and mentioned specific dates when cash was taken. Some of these dates confilict due to the fact that we where out of town and not near my sister's house. And to be honest, I can't remeber what my weekly grocery bill was 6 months ago, let alone money and dates. Plus one time she said 500 then 600 then 800 and now its 700.

My wife did admit that the total was close to 400-500. So my wife and I talked alot about the amount owed, we opted to pay out $500.00 in cash even though my sister has no proof or provided us with any, that it was my wife. Because my sister is a person that usually yells and vents when she's upset typically on the phone. I didn't attempt to expain the amount we where going to pay.

My mother and wife talked in length on the subjects of be sorry for her actions and hurting everyone and I believe my mother realised my wife more than likely didn't take that amount. So now my wife and mom are in good grace with each other thank God.

To be on the safe side we contacted a criminal attorney, prosecuting attorney and the local police and they all said the same. That we are bound to $20.00 and no more, and because we paided out $500, restution has been made in the eyes of the law and there not going to arrest someone for $20. In addtion, they all mentioned, if my sister demaded the full amount, without the burden of proof, thats considered a class B feloncy with extortion and black mail. As you might have guess, she called last week and wants the full amount, by this Thursday regardless. The timing could not have been worst, we found out my wife is two week pregnant and have not told anyone, though we are happy.

So as usual I find myself stuck in the middle and me and my wife have to do everything in our power to keep everyone happy (esp. my sister) and not rock the boat regardles of what we got going on. For example, my sister wrote a pretty hatefull letter to us and even sent a copy to my mother. But then 2 weeks later she invites me and my little daughter over her house for pancakes. Hun?

The $200 difference isn't alot of money and I would pay it but my wife keeps on mentioning she never took that amount and my sister doesn't have any proof. Plus my wife has confessed to everyone (esp my mom and sister) on her behaviour, but refusses toc confess to certain dates and times, which I back her up because I was with her.

So if I pay my sister my wife is upset with me, if I don't pay my sister and mom are upset with me. I just want this problem to go away forever where am I going wrong?

I have to say that I'm shocked at the fact that you expected your sis to PROVE what wife has ADMITTED to stealing !!!

If you can't communicate like a normal family, then take it to court and hash it out there.

If your wife is so poor, she needs to get a job OR you need to give her an allowance. Your sister shouldn't have to support your wife.

Might also want to get some therapy help for wifey, unless you want to bail her and the baby out of jail every week in the future. She's not much of a role model right now, and surely you want better for your child.

 

[Ohiogal]

Where to start... Hmmm...

What is the name of your state? NH

Greetings-
I know this is a long thread to read, but if you do you'll understand my nightmare situation better.

Six months ago my wife was caught on video taking $20.00 from my sister.

Cool. Your wife is a thief. That is a fact.

So my sister has demanded a total of $700.00 from us from her guess-mation and mentioned specific dates when cash was taken. Some of these dates confilict due to the fact that we where out of town and not near my sister's house. And to be honest, I can't remeber what my weekly grocery bill was 6 months ago, let alone money and dates. Plus one time she said 500 then 600 then 800 and now its 700.

My wife did admit that the total was close to 400-500.

And thieves of course are HONEST people. They would never lie about how much they stole.

So my wife and I talked alot about the amount owed, we opted to pay out $500.00 in cash even though my sister has no proof or provided us with any, that it was my wife. Because my sister is a person that usually yells and vents when she's upset typically on the phone. I didn't attempt to expain the amount we where going to pay.


Your mistake. Taking your thief wife's word. Has your sister ever lied to you? She could have gone to the police with the video tape. Your wife could be in jail right now or facing a criminal trial.

My mother and wife talked in length on the subjects of be sorry for her actions and hurting everyone and I believe my mother realised my wife more than likely didn't take that amount. So now my wife and mom are in good grace with each other thank God.

To be on the safe side we contacted a criminal attorney, prosecuting attorney and the local police and they all said the same. That we are bound to $20.00 and no more, and because we paided out $500, restution has been made in the eyes of the law and there not going to arrest someone for $20. In addtion, they all mentioned, if my sister demaded the full amount, without the burden of proof, thats considered a class B feloncy with extortion and black mail. As you might have guess, she called last week and wants the full amount, by this Thursday regardless. The timing could not have been worst, we found out my wife is two week pregnant and have not told anyone, though we are happy.

Ummm... your wife is two weeks pregnant? That means she just ovulated. Which means the egg hasn't even implanted. And her period was thus two weeks ago. Which means it is probably good thing you haven't told anyone because at two weeks pregnant she hasn't even missed a period. Interesting. You know earlier than ANY test could possibly know. I AM SO IMPRESSED.
\
So as usual I find myself stuck in the middle and me and my wife have to do everything in our power to keep everyone happy (esp. my sister) and not rock the boat regardles of what we got going on. For example, my sister wrote a pretty hatefull letter to us and even sent a copy to my mother. But then 2 weeks later she invites me and my little daughter over her house for pancakes. Hun?

Easy. She doesn't want be around your thief wife but she wants a relationship with her brother and neice. That is NOT difficult to figure out.
The $200 difference isn't alot of money and I would pay it but my wife keeps on mentioning she never took that amount and my sister doesn't have any proof. Plus my wife has confessed to everyone (esp my mom and sister) on her behaviour, but refusses toc confess to certain dates and times, which I back her up because I was with her.


Your wife isn't exactly the most trustworthy person around. If she hadn't taken any money no one could be accusing of taking two hundred more than she admits to. She refuses to confess to certain dates and times and you support that. So you are basically saying you trust a known thief and liar (because lets face it -- by definition thieves are NOT honest people) rather than your sister who caught your wife in the act of a crime and came to you about it.
So if I pay my sister my wife is upset with me, if I don't pay my sister and mom are upset with me. I just want this problem to go away forever where am I going wrong?

Pay your sister. Tell your wife to get serious counseling for her problem with stealing and seriously look into whether or not your wife is actually pregnant. If she is it is not just two weeks. She would have to be four weeks.

 

[seniorjudge]

...If she is it is not just two weeks. She would have to be four weeks....

Even if.

End of story.

Period.



Oh...I made a funny!

 

[Ohiogal]

Even if.

End of story.

Period.



Oh...I made a funny!

LOL. Yes you did.

 

[mammothcave]

I can't believe you took your wifes side kick her to the curb,and let your sis go after her

 

[LONDONDERRY]

You know I wasn't looking for sympothy on this thread but I wasn't all so expecting to be attatcked as well. My initial question was what type legal problems am I looking at for withholding monitaries? Perhaps I need to rephase some points.

Intial we where asked to pay $500.00, not a problem, then 2 days later we are asked to pay $600 and then the following day, we are asked to pay $650.00, still not a problem. Now its $700.00. So should I expect another number, probably? But I assume its okay that when we paid out $500 ASAP and it was recieved that 2 days later we where asked to pay more and more. I all so should assume its okay that if we didn't pay more we where getting threathen with legal actions?

Should I all so assume its okay for my wife and me to get harrassing phone calls at work, at home all hours and threatening hate letters in the mail, for more cash? My wife has made many attempt to write letters and phone my sister with appologies for her bad behaviour and wants to explain herself without any response. Oh and by the way shes in therapy and was diagnoused with post parteme depression.

Obviously, people that get caught in a crime do everything to denie some of the facts. But I all so assume its okay to be accused on a specific date and cash amount even though she was physically with me 60 miles away visiting relatives? Maybe I forgot to mention that numerous people had keys to her house, and she had employees that worked for her cleaning company, which where all so caught stealing from clients, have access to her house when she wasn't home.
Again my question, is what legal problems are we looking at for withholding and are we being blackmailed? Finally, PLEASE if your comments are nothing more than bashing me, or my wife, we rather not hear from you. Our whole family has been in turmoil and stressed out over this issue.

 

[fairisfair]

You know I wasn't looking for sympothy on this thread but I wasn't all so expecting to be attatcked as well. My initial question was what type legal problems am I looking at for withholding monitaries? Perhaps I need to rephase some points.

Intial we where asked to pay $500.00, not a problem, then 2 days later we are asked to pay $600 and then the following day, we are asked to pay $650.00, still not a problem. Now its $700.00. So should I expect another number, probably? But I assume its okay that when we paid out $500 ASAP and it was recieved that 2 days later we where asked to pay more and more. I all so should assume its okay that if we didn't pay more we where getting threathen with legal actions?

Should I all so assume its okay for my wife and me to get harrassing phone calls at work, at home all hours and threatening hate letters in the mail, for more cash? My wife has made many attempt to write letters and phone my sister with appologies for her bad behaviour and wants to explain herself without any response. Oh and by the way shes in therapy and was diagnoused with post parteme depression.

Obviously, people that get caught in a crime do everything to denie some of the facts. But I all so assume its okay to be accused on a specific date and cash amount even though she was physically with me 60 miles away visiting relatives? Maybe I forgot to mention that numerous people had keys to her house, and she had employees that worked for her cleaning company, which where all so caught stealing from clients, have access to her house when she wasn't home.
Again my question, is what legal problems are we looking at for withholding and are we being blackmailed? Finally, PLEASE if your comments are nothing more than bashing me, or my wife, we rather not hear from you. Our whole family has been in turmoil and stressed out over this issue.

wow! that was quick, yesterday she was two weeks pregnant and today she has post partum depression

You are expecting the posters on this site to sympathize with your thieving wife, it isn't going to happen. Your wife created the suspicion by stealing, why do you expect your sister to be the one to sort out who stole what?

You say that your wife has already admitted to 400-500 of tom thievery, have you paid this amount to your sister??? and asked to be allowed to make payments on the balance. Yes, the balance, every dime that your sister is claiming?

Blackmail, you seriously think that demanding repayment for something that was stolen from you is blackmail?

 

[LONDONDERRY]

wow! that was quick, yesterday she was two weeks pregnant and today she has post partum depression

You are expecting the posters on this site to sympathize with your thieving wife, it isn't going to happen. Your wife created the suspicion by stealing, why do you expect your sister to be the one to sort out who stole what?

You say that your wife has already admitted to 400-500 of tom thievery, have you paid this amount to your sister??? and asked to be allowed to make payments on the balance. Yes, the balance, every dime that your sister is claiming?

Blackmail, you seriously think that demanding repayment for something that was stolen from you is blackmail?

My wife and I had a baby 2 yrs ago and she developed PPD. She's pregnant again

We paid the full amount as requested and two days later we where asked to pay more.

Of course of serious, I though all you attornies understood what this meant?

On a side not I was not looking for sympothy you arrogant prick, I was asking a question. Seems to me that I thought a discussion board was for questions and constructive advice, as others are. But I guess, thats not the case with this one. Respond to this post or not I could care less, I'll never be back to read it. Jerk

 

[moburkes]

My wife and I had a baby 2 yrs ago and she developed PPD. She's pregnant again

We paid the full amount as requested and two days later we where asked to pay more.

Of course of serious, I though all you attornies understood what this meant?

On a side not I was not looking for sympothy you arrogant prick, I was asking a question. Seems to me that I thought a discussion board was for questions and constructive advice, as others are. But I guess, thats not the case with this one. Respond to this post or not I could care less, I'll never be back to read it. Jerk

You don't have to come back to read it. You will get the responses in your email, just like you got this response. JERK.

 

[outonbail]

\So if I pay my sister my wife is upset with me, if I don't pay my sister and mom are upset with me. I just want this problem to go away forever where am I going wrong?

Your going wrong on identifying what the problem actually is. The problem is your wife. If I were in your shoes, I'd want her to go away for ever as well.

On a side not I was not looking for sympothy you arrogant prick,

It's not clear what your looking for. However, I suggest you best search for a set of balls so you can man up, resolve your own petty little problem and quit all your whimpering.

BTW, every case I've ever heard of where a family member steals from their relatives on a regular basis, the thief in the equation always ends up being dependent on some powerful and illegal street narcotic, AKA "controlled substance". So pull your head out, open your eyes and stop being your wife's codependent.